Monday, February 10, 2014

Saturday, February 8, 2014

NEW YORK, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Dear Journal -

I'm leaving the city that never sleeps and it feels amazing! I haven't been this happy in a really long time! I feel free like a bird who can just fly wherever it pleases, it's such a relief to be able to start new and fresh! This whole adventure started about two and a half years ago when I went to my good friends wedding in NE, I went there and had such a great time, I even met a new guy who I sort of dated and although things didn't work out between us, he and I are still good friends.  Anyway, while I was getting to know him I told him one day that there was a huge big world outside of NE and as the words were coming out of my mouth the thoughts were filling my head saying......there is a big world outside of New York as well! and then I remembered my life in Florida almost 10 years ago, and how I really enjoyed that sort of life, the more peaceful more calm, less crowded life.  The space, the cleaner air, the less garbage the happier faces! so after saying that to him it was like a light bulb lit up in my head and probably on that day I decided that I was going to leave NY.  

At first I told him that if things worked out between he and I, I would move to NE, but that since I was in school and I couldn't leave until I was done, he would need to move to NY to be with me in the meantime.  After lots of fights and much confusion and no real relationship with him, we both decided that we were better off as friends (he later admitted he had been scared to move to NY and had regretted my offer) so, after things didn't work out between us, I wrote off the idea of moving to NE but not the idea of moving out of NY.  

But then one day I met AJ, remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html when he and I first became friends I told him how I was looking to move out of NY and how I was going to start traveling to see where I could move, I knew I did not like FL and I loved Los Angeles, but I didn't want to go there just yet (I think I'll retire in Cali) so he told me that I should consider moving to Colorado, he told me how much he loved it and he started to brag about this city in Colorado that he really loved (he didn't live in it) but he would often tell me how badly he wished he did.  I looked up the city to see what all the fuss he made of it was about and the first time a page loaded on my laptop with the image of the city, I immediately fell in love with it, it was just the place I could imagine myself in.  That next summer after AJ and I met I took a trip there and the minute I landed I immediately knew that I was in love with Colorado! it is so amazing there, I felt as if I was back home in my country (Colombia) because the landscape is so similar, being there felt so comfortable and in that moment, I decided that for the rest of my time while I was going to school, I would simultaneously be looking into moving there.  I have been planning this move now for nearly two years, and it is almost unbelievable that next week I will be writing you my wonderful journal, while sitting in my new place! I cannot wait! not even exhaustion can stop me from wanting to rush there!

Since the time I decided to move there, so many things have happened.  For one my AJ and I no longer speak.  Last summer, I also briefly considered not moving when I found myself having strong feelings for my neighbor remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/07/dear-journal-is-it-just-little-crush.html I felt that we had such a strong connection, and I kept thinking that if he and I tried and things worked out, I would just stay here, because I knew that if things worked out between us, that would make me happy and if things didn't work out, well, Colorado wasn't going anywhere, so why not? I mean really, how often in life do you find such a strong connection with someone? even though maybe I was the one who felt the connection but clearly he did not.  I also visited Indiana where my two best friends are originally from to see if maybe that was a good option for me.  

I also panicked last year when I went to visit Colorado again and questioned my motives for moving, I was able to finally meet AJ in person and I told him and myself that if I moved there it had nothing at all to do with him, I wanted to make sure I wasn't moving just because I had these confusing feelings for him.  I panicked a bit about the thought of actually going through with the move, but after talking to him in person and expressing to him all my fears, he managed to calm my fears and assured me I would be really happy there.  AJ wasn't the only person giving me confidence and telling me I could do it,  I had also made new friends who are amazing and supportive! and made me feel better about my choice.  One of them even offered to let me move in with him if I needed to until I could get myself settled. I have gained a bunch of new wonderful amazing friends! they are all waiting for me to get there to start showing me the way, to guide me, to spend time with me and to share in my life, I am truly blessed that I have met such great amazing people and I know that I will only meet more.  

And although I will alway Love New York, I know that there is nothing left here for me, I have exhausted it's resources, I have done it all here, I have given this great city all of me for far to long, and it is time for me to start my new journey in a new amazing place that I will soon call home!

I will leave New York with a heavy heart I am sure, but I know that I will always come back to visit and see my friends, New York will always be my home no matter where I am, especially because according to people in Colorado, I have that "New York Accent" which I wish I understood what having a "New York Accent" sounds like.  I am sure that I will be coming to these pages soon to tell you about my new adventures, to share with you all the hardships, triumphs, happiness, sadness and I'm sure heartbreaks or maybe even love, because no matter where I go, I am still me and there is no place that is perfect, but what exactly is perfect? how can one know perfect if perfect is up to each individual.  But this I do know for sure, I am going there with an open mind and an open heart, ready to take on new challenges, ready to work hard to achieve my goals, ready to take on what life will continue to throw my way, because what is life without exploring it? what is life without trying? without giving? without challenge? I don't know anything else, maybe that guy at my old job was right, maybe I am an over achiever, or maybe Benjamin was the one who was right, maybe I do have a gypsy soul as he once said I did, whatever the case may be, I have never been so sure of anything in my life as am that this move is right.  I follow my dreams! I make them real!

Stay tuned journal, stay tuned.........


I leave you with - Telluride, by: Tim McGraw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VuUgrnkkt8


What happens in Vegas!

 Dear Journal - I know it has been sometime since I last wrote but as of late, my life has been pretty busy! I came on here tonight to write...