Dear Journal -
I cannot tell you, how many times since I've had you, you've gotten me into trouble! I mean yes technically it isn't you who gets me in trouble but rather the things I write to you, but yes, sometimes I feel like I want to say so much and hold back because "what if that person sees it?" however, I think it is fair to say that I never bad mouth or talk bad about anyone on my blog, because my blog is about LOVE. I LOVE all people regardless of what they do to me, or how they have treated me. I like to think that I am for the most part tasteful with what I say, but most important, I don't want to put any sort of poison on here because you might catch a virus! no need for negativity on this beautiful blog of mine.
So, without further a do, let me jump right in and tell you a few things about what's been going on in my life. First, the other morning on 10/17 to be exact. I came on here to sort out my feelings, to explore, to share. I then the next day read my post and thought to myself.... WOW! what a HOT mess, I'm seriously all over the place with my emotions these days! but after I had sometime to think about it, I realized that I was just being a woman! it was Dr. John Gray that said it best in his book, men women and relationships, that women go on and on and on saying something to finally come to their own conclusions. That we women explore our feelings by saying, by talking, by expressing and that is EXACTLY what I did! I ranted and raved and wrote and wrote and I don't think I took a step back to think about what I was writing, but now I came to terms with that post and I'm ok with it, I feel content with the content! HA!
I have written about quite a number of men on this blog and I have to say that a few have taken my words LITERALLY, so I had to come on here today to tell you journal that sometimes I am writing to explore my feelings and ideas and so what I may be feeling in that moment is not what I am always feeling. To elaborate, I am writing something in that moment and tomorrow it may or may not mean the same! capish? I feel really grateful that I have you and can come on here and express myself freely without judgement, because when I'm writing to you, I don't care who's eyes will come upon you if ever they do! this is MY journal! and I will cry if I want too!
Anyway, I have some news to report that I think is worthy of noting. Remember Wilford? (that's not his real name, that's the name he told me to use for the purpose of this blog) but remember him? my friend from Brooklyn who lived in B5? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-man-in-b5.html well, after him and I having the strangest friendship in the history of my life, I am happy to report that we are again friends and that he speaks to me again!!!! wooo hooo! good God that's so crazy! in a nut shell, I didn't have an iphone for a while, maybe like 8 months or so. Anywho, I got an iphone a few weeks ago which i'm sooooo happy about! I hated the samsung galaxy S5 with a passion! anyway, thanks to the amazing icloud, I'm going through my contacts and his name was on there!! HOLLY SHIT! I had erased it a long time ago so that I wouldn't be tempted to message him. Anyway, not thinking he would respond, I sent him a message and a few days later he responded!!! HALLELUJAH! it was the most random response ever but knowing him the way I do, I know for a fact he thought about responding thoroughly and carefully.
He and I never had a real romantic relationship but I think I would have loved him soooooo deeply and wanted to kill him all at the same time if we had! that man truly is crazy, but I love him so dearly! he's just a good person! so he responded and the conversation was very short and then I told him I would be going to NYC and it would be awesome if I could see him. He didn't say yes and he didn't say no, but again knowing him the way I do, he is probably still trying to decide! lucky for me I didn't end up going, but will be going soon, which will give him more time to decide if MAYBE he does! JEEZ LOUIS! that man makes things sooo complicated! Honestly, as much as I would love to see him, if he decides not too, I will just have to accept it and I will be ok with it. I am glad that I don't feel about him the way I once did and so I won't be deeply hurt or devastated if he decides he doesn't want to.
I am really glad though, that we are OK and that on his bday if I send him a bday greeting he will respond with a thank you! it's nice that now it's ok to send him a hello greeting every now and again and that the air is fresh between us! I just re-read a post that I wrote about him one of the last times I spent time with him and it made me cry, WOW! that's one post that was indeed LITERAL! journal, today I really missed NYC because last night I was hanging out in Denver, and while Denver is nowhere near as big and fun as NYC, it's still fairly cool! I'm so glad that in a few weeks I will be able to visit my family and friends back home! I'm a big city girl!
I'm really tired so I will go now, but I will leave you with Alanis! I added a few of her songs to my playlist the other day, good stuff!
Alanis Morrisette - You Oughta Know
I cannot tell you, how many times since I've had you, you've gotten me into trouble! I mean yes technically it isn't you who gets me in trouble but rather the things I write to you, but yes, sometimes I feel like I want to say so much and hold back because "what if that person sees it?" however, I think it is fair to say that I never bad mouth or talk bad about anyone on my blog, because my blog is about LOVE. I LOVE all people regardless of what they do to me, or how they have treated me. I like to think that I am for the most part tasteful with what I say, but most important, I don't want to put any sort of poison on here because you might catch a virus! no need for negativity on this beautiful blog of mine.
So, without further a do, let me jump right in and tell you a few things about what's been going on in my life. First, the other morning on 10/17 to be exact. I came on here to sort out my feelings, to explore, to share. I then the next day read my post and thought to myself.... WOW! what a HOT mess, I'm seriously all over the place with my emotions these days! but after I had sometime to think about it, I realized that I was just being a woman! it was Dr. John Gray that said it best in his book, men women and relationships, that women go on and on and on saying something to finally come to their own conclusions. That we women explore our feelings by saying, by talking, by expressing and that is EXACTLY what I did! I ranted and raved and wrote and wrote and I don't think I took a step back to think about what I was writing, but now I came to terms with that post and I'm ok with it, I feel content with the content! HA!
I have written about quite a number of men on this blog and I have to say that a few have taken my words LITERALLY, so I had to come on here today to tell you journal that sometimes I am writing to explore my feelings and ideas and so what I may be feeling in that moment is not what I am always feeling. To elaborate, I am writing something in that moment and tomorrow it may or may not mean the same! capish? I feel really grateful that I have you and can come on here and express myself freely without judgement, because when I'm writing to you, I don't care who's eyes will come upon you if ever they do! this is MY journal! and I will cry if I want too!
Anyway, I have some news to report that I think is worthy of noting. Remember Wilford? (that's not his real name, that's the name he told me to use for the purpose of this blog) but remember him? my friend from Brooklyn who lived in B5? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-man-in-b5.html well, after him and I having the strangest friendship in the history of my life, I am happy to report that we are again friends and that he speaks to me again!!!! wooo hooo! good God that's so crazy! in a nut shell, I didn't have an iphone for a while, maybe like 8 months or so. Anywho, I got an iphone a few weeks ago which i'm sooooo happy about! I hated the samsung galaxy S5 with a passion! anyway, thanks to the amazing icloud, I'm going through my contacts and his name was on there!! HOLLY SHIT! I had erased it a long time ago so that I wouldn't be tempted to message him. Anyway, not thinking he would respond, I sent him a message and a few days later he responded!!! HALLELUJAH! it was the most random response ever but knowing him the way I do, I know for a fact he thought about responding thoroughly and carefully.
He and I never had a real romantic relationship but I think I would have loved him soooooo deeply and wanted to kill him all at the same time if we had! that man truly is crazy, but I love him so dearly! he's just a good person! so he responded and the conversation was very short and then I told him I would be going to NYC and it would be awesome if I could see him. He didn't say yes and he didn't say no, but again knowing him the way I do, he is probably still trying to decide! lucky for me I didn't end up going, but will be going soon, which will give him more time to decide if MAYBE he does! JEEZ LOUIS! that man makes things sooo complicated! Honestly, as much as I would love to see him, if he decides not too, I will just have to accept it and I will be ok with it. I am glad that I don't feel about him the way I once did and so I won't be deeply hurt or devastated if he decides he doesn't want to.
I am really glad though, that we are OK and that on his bday if I send him a bday greeting he will respond with a thank you! it's nice that now it's ok to send him a hello greeting every now and again and that the air is fresh between us! I just re-read a post that I wrote about him one of the last times I spent time with him and it made me cry, WOW! that's one post that was indeed LITERAL! journal, today I really missed NYC because last night I was hanging out in Denver, and while Denver is nowhere near as big and fun as NYC, it's still fairly cool! I'm so glad that in a few weeks I will be able to visit my family and friends back home! I'm a big city girl!
I'm really tired so I will go now, but I will leave you with Alanis! I added a few of her songs to my playlist the other day, good stuff!
Alanis Morrisette - You Oughta Know
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