Dear journal -
I feel like it's safe to say that we all FB stalk every now and then, I had been off from FB for a really long time and then I got back on and sometimes I enjoy it but I don't feel that I go on it as much as I did years ago because I just like Twitter better. But yesterday I was having a really rough day and for some reason I thought about the man in B5 Wilferm! (that's not his real name) but he did tell me once that I could use that name as his alias for my blog. Anyway, he doesn't have a FB page or maybe he does I feel like I found something weird that he would do so it might be his, but either way, I know names of people in his family so I looked up someone's name hoping that maybe they had posted a picture of my old friend and that maybe I could see him.
WELL, to my surprise the person I looked up had posted pictures of their wedding, which I recall the wedding because the wedding was when he and I were friends and him and I had talked about it and he had told me he was part of the wedding party. When I looked at the pictures and saw him in one of those old wedding pictures I thought to myself....... WOW! He was truly the man I would of never left NYC for! I swear that the connection I felt with him was so unreal and I wish he would of seen what I did, but such is life!
I once told him I did that, you know looked up his family on FB and he got annoyed at me, I'm not sure why he was annoyed, I wasn't stalking them I simply missed my friend and wanted to see if I could know something about him, we are human that is what we do sometimes. I don't talk to him anymore but there are SO MANY TIMES when I want to message him so badly and say hello, but I'm afraid he won't respond and I just don't feel like feeling like shit. I saved the picture that I saw of him on my phone because the next person I fall in love with, is going to look just like him and is going to have similar traits. He is tall thin and has dark hair dark brown eyes and the most amazing lips that I got to kiss and that was fun! He has a pretty cool family, they just all seem so chill. I remember him telling me that his mom was a hippie and she seems like she is and that's pretty darn cool!
No matter how many heart breaks you go through journal, there is always that memory of the people that you've met that should set the standard for what you want. I lost myself in a world of lies and deceit and heartache and pain, but I always come back better! I KNOW that my one is out there with all the wrong girls, and one day we will meet. Who knows, maybe one day Wilferm will come to his senses and contact me again! IMAGINE? I would move back to Brooklyn in a NYC minute if that ever happened! one can wish and dream and hope, this is my journal and I'll wish if I want to!
Ps. tomorrow I start virtual School of Practical Philosophy and I cannot wait!!! so exciting!
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