Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Cruel Summer.....

Dear Journal -


I know that I don't write you nearly as much as I should, especially because I have so much time on my hands lately and it feels awesome! I have been doing a lot of hiking, I really love my new environment and hope to continue to discover it.  All those who surround me make me feel special and really happy.  I have been talking to someone lately that I am very attracted to, he is pretty cool but I am taking things really slow and with caution, I do like the attention though, it feels nice.  I met him about a month ago but we didn't really start talking the way we have been about a week ago I guess, although it feels longer even though we do know each other longer.  Nothing has really happened between us but we both have expressed mutual interest and we talk, he's really really handsome, I'm in lust!

Other than that, today I got a call from my friend Nacho, remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/06/love-sex-drugs.html he and I have not been able to talk for over a year.  He called me and told me that I had forgotten all about him, but I really haven't.  Yes I don't think about him on a daily basis like I once did, but ever so often I will call his mom and find out how he is doing.  When we spoke I got a little chocked up, I know for sure that if there is one man in this world that loves me unconditionally and would probably do anything for me if he could, it would probably be him.  I was really happy to hear his voice.

I am really sleepy right now journal, but I had to go on these pages of you my sweet journal and share with you that life is pretty awesome right now! by the way, the other day I was in Denver, CO which is about a 45 minute drive from where I live, and for some reason I thought about Benjamin Nunez, the one person I have written most about since I started this journal.  Anyway, I had the urge to call him and to my surprise, his number was disconnected.  When I hung up, I was in tears for a few minutes, I felt so sad that the one thing that kept me connected to him in some way, was the fact that I still had his personal phone number, and now I no longer have it.  No we haven't spoken for about three years now, but I always thought that one day we would talk again, and yes I still can send him a message on a social network site (which he probably won't respond) but it isn't the same thing, I had his personal phone number and now I have nothing, no link to the one man I have probably loved most in my whole life.  It was a sad moment, but I cried I took a deep breath, I experienced that feeling and then I let it go and went on my way doing what I do now, enjoying happiness.

Journal, I have to leave you with this song, because I heard it the other day and I truly love it...it reminds me of a girl that I once knew..... ME.... I probably already have it posted on this blog, but I don't care, I'll post it again.

Cruel Summer 
By: Bananarama








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