A few years ago, I was seeing someone who I thought I might consider having a relationship with and one day we start talking about what we both were looking for as far as a signifiant other, and to my surprise he turns around and tells me that he would never consider being in a serious relationship with me, because I was a "party girl"... His exact words were, I know your "type" you like to party and play around with men all you care about is partying, I would never be with you! When he said that to me, I was in disbelief that I was hearing these words coming out of his mouth, after all I was about 37 then so it wasn't like I was some young party girl who's life revolved around a dance club like it did when I was in my 20's. I was very upset about it, not because he didn't want to be with me, but because that "label" has followed me around all of my life. Him along with many many other people, have often judged me to be a "party girl" based on the fact that I enjoy being social, I love to dance and I like to go out dancing sometimes (although lately I don't enjoy it as much, I believe that's called getting old?) My initial thought to his judgement was pretty much, FUCK YOU! You don't know shit about me!
Fast forward a few years and here I am learning Social Psychology and WAAALLLLAAAA! there it was, the reason
why this idiot lost out on a wonderful woman! turns out, that we base most of our judgements on preconceived ideas we have stored in our long term memories or information we have stored in our minds about certain things. In order for us to rationalize anything in our minds, we make up little stories of things that make sense to us in our own minds, later in order to make decisions we call back those ideas that we have already built in our minds and have store in our memory and base new ideas and information by using those ideas to help us make judgements. It is wayyyy more complex then that of course, but that is the gist of it.
So, Jazzy is a "party girl" because people who enjoy to socialize, listen to music and dance are "party people" by having this preconceived idea stored in our memory whenever we meet someone who enjoys those things we automatically judge them to be a certain way, if those things to us are things we don't enjoy or if those things bring us bad memories of someone that we were with and had a bad experience with based on those similarities, we will judge the individual according to the stored information in our minds. This process goes on in our minds automatically it is a natural mental process.
The worst part is, that because we all have all these preconceived ideas in our minds or these pictures we have built through out our lives, it makes it difficult to change our ideas about an individual, after we have made the judgment. It is only by allowing ourselves to get to know the person deeper, that we may actually change our mind, by constructing in our memories new ideas based on what we are learning about the individual. But think about it, if you already have these preconceived judgements that are stored in our memories and these ideas that we have about each type of individual that we meet, then clearly it is difficult to give people a chance because you already think you know what you like or don't like. We not only use these ideas for people we want to have a romantic relationship with, it works the same for forming friendships and working relationships.
Holly fucking shit! our minds our just FACINATING! and if we allow it, our mind can control our happiness. The more I learn about our magnificent minds, the more I understand people and the more I want to learn. I feel bad, because it's almost not our fault. It is only through learning and opening up our minds that we will enable ourselves to give each individual that we meet a fair chance even after we have made our initial judgement, that we may completely be wrong about.
How many times in your life have you said "I had you all wrong?" think about it, this is why we cannot allow our minds to control us, but rather we need to be in control of our own thoughts. Our brains work in very specific ways in order for us to perform, yet by knowing these things we can try to change the way we view people and the world around us. Perceiving each person with an open mind and not allowing our preconceived judgements to impair us from forming lasting relationships. Each person is different then the next.
Had this man given me a fair chance who knows, he might have had the opportunity to have been with a pretty cool woman! or at least that's what I think, but then again maybe not because I can be a real bitch sometimes.
Oh well! Its ok, things happen life goes on. Besides, EVERYBODY KNOWS, that I am nothing but a party girl drunk! and that is pretty much all there is to me!
Fast forward a few years and here I am learning Social Psychology and WAAALLLLAAAA! there it was, the reason
why this idiot lost out on a wonderful woman! turns out, that we base most of our judgements on preconceived ideas we have stored in our long term memories or information we have stored in our minds about certain things. In order for us to rationalize anything in our minds, we make up little stories of things that make sense to us in our own minds, later in order to make decisions we call back those ideas that we have already built in our minds and have store in our memory and base new ideas and information by using those ideas to help us make judgements. It is wayyyy more complex then that of course, but that is the gist of it.
So, Jazzy is a "party girl" because people who enjoy to socialize, listen to music and dance are "party people" by having this preconceived idea stored in our memory whenever we meet someone who enjoys those things we automatically judge them to be a certain way, if those things to us are things we don't enjoy or if those things bring us bad memories of someone that we were with and had a bad experience with based on those similarities, we will judge the individual according to the stored information in our minds. This process goes on in our minds automatically it is a natural mental process.
The worst part is, that because we all have all these preconceived ideas in our minds or these pictures we have built through out our lives, it makes it difficult to change our ideas about an individual, after we have made the judgment. It is only by allowing ourselves to get to know the person deeper, that we may actually change our mind, by constructing in our memories new ideas based on what we are learning about the individual. But think about it, if you already have these preconceived judgements that are stored in our memories and these ideas that we have about each type of individual that we meet, then clearly it is difficult to give people a chance because you already think you know what you like or don't like. We not only use these ideas for people we want to have a romantic relationship with, it works the same for forming friendships and working relationships.
Holly fucking shit! our minds our just FACINATING! and if we allow it, our mind can control our happiness. The more I learn about our magnificent minds, the more I understand people and the more I want to learn. I feel bad, because it's almost not our fault. It is only through learning and opening up our minds that we will enable ourselves to give each individual that we meet a fair chance even after we have made our initial judgement, that we may completely be wrong about.
How many times in your life have you said "I had you all wrong?" think about it, this is why we cannot allow our minds to control us, but rather we need to be in control of our own thoughts. Our brains work in very specific ways in order for us to perform, yet by knowing these things we can try to change the way we view people and the world around us. Perceiving each person with an open mind and not allowing our preconceived judgements to impair us from forming lasting relationships. Each person is different then the next.
Had this man given me a fair chance who knows, he might have had the opportunity to have been with a pretty cool woman! or at least that's what I think, but then again maybe not because I can be a real bitch sometimes.
Oh well! Its ok, things happen life goes on. Besides, EVERYBODY KNOWS, that I am nothing but a party girl drunk! and that is pretty much all there is to me!
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