Thursday, May 31, 2012

THE SECRET MESSAGE!

For about two and a half years, I felt like someone, or rather I sincerely believed that Benjamin Nunez (that's not his name) was sending me secret messages via twitter.  I know that anyone who is reading this right now is probably thinking that I am delusional, but, after studying abnormal Psychology and knowing what delusions really are, I am fully convinced that I am not (thank God).  


I am not saying that in fact this man wasn't sending me secret messages on twitter, what I am saying, is that for about two and a half years I had a strong belief that he was.  I almost have proof but it's not that important.  One day, me being the bold bitch that I am, when I finally had the opportunity of seeing him, I told him to his face, that if I had not left him alone as he so badly wished in two and a half years, it was because all of that time, he had encouraged me to continue to do so and that he should not make me go there, because I would (by saying don't make me go there, I mean don't make me give examples) when I confronted him, he could not look me in the face and just giggled.  After studying Social Psychology, I also learned that when someone lies they have certain physiological things that occur to them that are evident and that is how you can usually tell if someone is lying.  Now, I am not saying he was lying because he didn't dare say a word, what I am saying is that he giggled, instead of looking at me and saying, Jazzy, what in the world are you talking about? are you delusional? 


At this point it really doesn't matter to me anymore, I am fully aware that he took advantage of the sincere love that I had for him and used it for his own egotistical purposes.  We played a mental game that we both enjoyed very much and I guess it was something we both needed to go through to learn and grow as individuals.  There is so much more to the story, but that is not what this post is about, this post is really about.... The secret message.  Ever since the social network sites have become popular and I am saying this because I was on Facebook and Twitter way before the masses even knew about them.  People always use this avenue, to communicate certain feelings that they may have about certain individuals to let out steam or anger or hurt or whatever it is that they do.  To make myself clear, what I am saying is that when you are on Facebook and it says for you to write "what is on your mind" many people do exactly that, they write what is on their mind, to almost send a "secret message" to someone on their list of friends.  


If you are wondering how I know this, well, I know because I have done it DUH! However, a very long time ago, I decided that when I sent a "secret message" I was going to state on the post, that it was a "secret message" because in reality, whatever I write on a public website, I would tell the person to their face, I don't have to go around sending people "secret messages" via facebook or twitter, because I sincerely believe that the best way to share information with another human being is to just contact them and tell them exactly how you feel or what you are thinking.  If people understood the importance of effective communication, I sincerely feel that this world would be a better place.  Communicating effectively is so important in fact, that whole marriages and families and friendships are torn due to the lack of it.


But this post isn't intended to talk about effective communication and again I am going on a tangent, what this post is about, is "the secret message" which basically I had to actually write today as my FB status to get the attention of a person who I really like as a friend and feel that I can't really talk to him because he has a girlfriend now and I am sort of banned from his life.  


Now this man I have never even met in person, yet him and I have become really cool virtual friends, two people that share common interests and have had conversations about interesting topics, yet the minute he had a girlfriend, he has been very respectful to her in the way he communicates with me, which makes me respect him that much more.  I seriously feel like there are some really good guys out there, like I meet them ALL the time, really just genuine sincere cool men that are just looking to be loved the right way and then here come the women, getting all crazy and pissed off and just almost like controlling these individuals without really knowing what jewel they have.  Like hey, lady! trust your man! if you don't then why are you with him?  Which brings me to well talking about me! because well, this is my blog and if I am writing all this stuff, I clearly have to relate it to myself DUH!


I was once upon a time was one of these crazy jealous bitches, you know them right? the ones that get all crazy and the minute they have their man, their man pretty much dies to the world because YOUR MY MAN AND YOU CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE! And so now when I have the opportunity to meet these really nice genuine dudes that are like really happy with their women and respectful in the way they talk to me and are just awesome and there, they are with their woman acting all sorts of crazy, I see this and I think, OMG! I hope to never act that way with my future man (if I ever end up having one of those) but I seriously just find that so tacky and looney that I think to myself, WOW, I can't believe I acted that way once upon a time.  


Now to my defense, when I was with my ex husband I really really worked hard on not acting that way with him.  Actually, my ex husband is one of those lucky guys that works with a bunch of models, so here my man would come home from seeing all these beautiful attractive run way models and here I was, me, mere mortal, thinking OMG! not only am I older than he is, he is around beautiful women all day, so, if he is still coming home to me, why bitch about it and complain and get all jealous? so I just sort of at one point decided that I needed to trust the man that I loved and I did, sincerely.  And for this, I was proud!


I am not really sure what the point of this post is anymore to be honest, because once again I went on a tangent and probably made no sense, but I honestly have so many topics on my mind that I want to write about on my blog, I don't even know where to start! quite honestly I need to sit down one day and brain storm and write different topics down and get more organized before I write, this way, you my dear wonderful reader, don't have to be confused by the time you get to the end of my post thinking.... Jazzy, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!


I guess the conclusion of this post is a secret message to my lady friends that visit my blog and read what non sense I choose to share.  First, thank you to my cousin who said she reads them all! I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU! but seriously, I want to say to all you lovely ladies, that if you are with a man and you don't trust him, then I don't know how happy that relationship will ever be, because without trust, what do you really have? 


Please, cut your man some slack every now and then, they are only human and if they have female friends, I bet, that 90 percent of the time they are probably asking them questions about, their woman, YOU.  We all need to have friends of the opposite sex, I think that it is important.  But, me as a woman who has been married, and understands or tries to understand people, I automatically develop a certain level of respect for anyone who is in a relationship with someone, because I always think...... That whatever you give the universe, the universe will give back to you, so, if when I talk to someone's man, I am looking at him with intentions that are not pure and friendly, one day, when I love someone, some woman will do that to me and I don't want that.


So, yes, sometimes I put "secret messages" on my FB page directed at my friend or friends who are in a relationship, but I only do so jokingly first of all, but second of all, just to say hello to my friend who I miss and don't want to get in trouble over something silly like an email.  Which would lead me to a whole other topic..... Why does your significant other have to have your passwords, private information and know EVERY SINGLE THING?  I am not even going to go there, because I have very strong opinions about that and my opinion is, just because we are a couple, doesn't mean, your not an individual, YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY!


I hope I made sense...... BUENAS NOCHES!

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