Dear Journal -
I can tell you this, I had a few Corona beers and I held back from sending a text message or calling someone because I will not give my love and affection to anyone who doesn't want it...
Instead, I was at Coney Island beach with BK, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/10/dear-journal-10-30-12.html just hanging out talking about life and having a great time. When I got home, my cousin and his friend said I was glowing, and I was, because I love spending time with my good friends that truly know me and the fact that I was around him and didn't want to kiss him, was really awesome, because now I know that he is my friend, my real friend that I can be around not feeling any sort of way, yet we can talk about anything and everything and we can understand each other in a way that is very truly special.
I dropped him off, gave him a kiss (on the cheek) and drove home thinking about him, that stupid idiot who doesn't speak to me anymore. I see these patterns in my life that are quite obvious, these men that come into my life, they don't know what the hell they are doing, they don't know if they are coming or going and then they are gone and leave me confused, yet at the end of the day, I always end up back with these other younger men that I have these crazy strong connections with that it's so unbelievably incredible, like I had the best night ever with my BK and it was so awesome just to sit with him at the beach watching the sunset and having some beers and just chilling, talking and enjoying each others company and not even worrying about do I have to kiss him or not, because that has been established, we are friends, real friends, the type of friends that will always be in each others lives, and even when he told me tomorrow he would be going to spend time with his ex girlfriend, It didn't matter to me, because all these women will probably come and go, but me, I am here, always, with my friend.
Yet, there I was, on my way home thinking about the stupid idiot that I wish I would of cursed out, but instead I gave him my genuine love and affection, and I bet he would of never sat with me at the beach on a fall evening, because why would he do that? or would he? and why am I writing about someone who specifically asked me not to do so anymore? UGH! I hate him so much!
Ok... that's the beer talking, it's a new day it's midnight and I have to work tomorrow.... GN!
I leave you with....My new Drake favorite song, which reminds me of me, when I told BK that the song reminded me of me, he said that was a "girl thing" I don't know if it's a "girl thing" but songs sometimes remind me of me.... or... it reminds me of what someone out there sees me as.. which btw...BK told me that he knows I'm a good girl and that made me feel really special, because he truly knows me! thank you my friend!
Drake - Hold on we're going home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukCyt47eIkA
I can tell you this, I had a few Corona beers and I held back from sending a text message or calling someone because I will not give my love and affection to anyone who doesn't want it...
Instead, I was at Coney Island beach with BK, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/10/dear-journal-10-30-12.html just hanging out talking about life and having a great time. When I got home, my cousin and his friend said I was glowing, and I was, because I love spending time with my good friends that truly know me and the fact that I was around him and didn't want to kiss him, was really awesome, because now I know that he is my friend, my real friend that I can be around not feeling any sort of way, yet we can talk about anything and everything and we can understand each other in a way that is very truly special.
I dropped him off, gave him a kiss (on the cheek) and drove home thinking about him, that stupid idiot who doesn't speak to me anymore. I see these patterns in my life that are quite obvious, these men that come into my life, they don't know what the hell they are doing, they don't know if they are coming or going and then they are gone and leave me confused, yet at the end of the day, I always end up back with these other younger men that I have these crazy strong connections with that it's so unbelievably incredible, like I had the best night ever with my BK and it was so awesome just to sit with him at the beach watching the sunset and having some beers and just chilling, talking and enjoying each others company and not even worrying about do I have to kiss him or not, because that has been established, we are friends, real friends, the type of friends that will always be in each others lives, and even when he told me tomorrow he would be going to spend time with his ex girlfriend, It didn't matter to me, because all these women will probably come and go, but me, I am here, always, with my friend.
Yet, there I was, on my way home thinking about the stupid idiot that I wish I would of cursed out, but instead I gave him my genuine love and affection, and I bet he would of never sat with me at the beach on a fall evening, because why would he do that? or would he? and why am I writing about someone who specifically asked me not to do so anymore? UGH! I hate him so much!
Ok... that's the beer talking, it's a new day it's midnight and I have to work tomorrow.... GN!
I leave you with....My new Drake favorite song, which reminds me of me, when I told BK that the song reminded me of me, he said that was a "girl thing" I don't know if it's a "girl thing" but songs sometimes remind me of me.... or... it reminds me of what someone out there sees me as.. which btw...BK told me that he knows I'm a good girl and that made me feel really special, because he truly knows me! thank you my friend!
Drake - Hold on we're going home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukCyt47eIkA
No comments:
Post a Comment