GUIDE TO THE GOOD LIFE...WHAT? HUH?

Dear Journal:

1-22-14

I wrote this post yesterday on my way home from work.  Life is going swell, and things are looking bright.  I feel content in my shoes and I am looking forward to the journey ahead of me.  I feel like I have so much to write, yet I am stuck as to where to start, so I will start here, with the post I wrote yesterday on my way home, it starts on the next paragraph. 

1-21-14

I read a book on Stoicism nearly 3 years ago that I really enjoyed.  I read it on a flight on my way back from Colombia.  I really enjoyed it and feel like I gained a wealth of spiritual knowledge from it.  I will try to write about what I got out of it and what I understood from it.  In a nut shell, stoic belief is the belief that if we always imagine the absolute worse scenario happening about a certain situation, the likelihood of that worse outcome happening is probably least likely to occur.   

Let me try to explain what I mean.  What I got out of the book is that stoicism ties into living in the moment, because what the teaching is referring too, is a teaching of controlling our thoughts since we cannot always have control of situations.  The belief is that if we think of the absolute worse happening, if that absolute worse doesn't happen which is usually the case, then we will always or usually be happy with the outcome of the situation.  We as humans tend to let our imaginations run wild with thoughts when we are faced with challenges, so because this is our very nature, instead of letting our minds control our thoughts, why not control that which we could if we really tried, that being our minds, and when faced with difficult decisions go straight to the worse scenario and let that be the point where we make decisions from.  I'll try to elaborate as I know this can be a bit or a lot confusing.

For example, a few weeks ago I was really really anxious and stressed about the outcome of my final, the last final I had taken as an undergraduate student.  I kept thinking that if I did not pass my final, I would be screwed in the sense that I would probably have to change a bunch of plans I had made, based on the outcome of the test.  At first I was a hot mess! I messaged all my dear and true friends expressing to them my fear of this outcome, the outcome being failing the test.  As my friends often do, they reassured me that I was probably over reacting and that they had full faith that I had passed (side note: THANK YOU FRIENDS!) anyway, I thought back at what I had read in the book about stoicism, and I practiced to the best of my recollection, what I could practice based on what I learned by reading the book.  So I sat down and I imagined the most horrific outcome that I could, in terms of what would happen if I did fail the test.  After doing so, I was able to clearly set a plan in the event that I did indeed fail.  Practicing stoic belief, enabled me to calmly react to my feelings and my crazy thoughts that were scattered all over the place, and for the rest of my wait for the results of that test, I was a bit more relaxed.  So, needless to say, I wasn't just happy with the outcome of my test (I passed it) I was ecstatic! Not only was I completely shocked with the grade I received (C) which I'm not proud of, but I was ecstatic that I had passed it because I thought I was going to get a (D) and that would of really screwed up my GPA which I wanted to make sure to keep above a 3.0 so that I could apply to grad school if I decided to go (I'm not sure about it yet).

Now I'm not saying that this tactic always works, or that it's a sure cure for having anxious thoughts.  But as someone who spent the last four years of my life studying psychology, and am still not able to practice what I learned or work in the amazing field or sit across from someone and help them with their problems, I hope that if anyone comes across this blog, and stubbles upon this post, they will find it somehow useful.  If nothing else, I hope I can provide an idea at the very least, to help calm your thoughts!

Remember..... If Jazzy can do it, so can you! (Insert smiley face here!).

I highly recommend the book, I plan on reading it again as I might have not been completely accurate as far as this post is concerned, but again, I read this book nearly 3 years ago and still use what I got out of it, as a useful tool, when I encounter difficult scenarios.  Def a good read!

My Angel.......

Dear Journal -

How do you call a human an angel and they fear you and run away because of it? will I ever understand the reasons no matter how hard I study or how hard I try to figure it out? is there a path that we have to follow in order to get to a place we are supposed to be at? I don't know, I can't explain so many things that have happened to me in the last few years.  The events that have led me to now.  Maybe it's just that before I wasn't paying attention and then when I finally began to I was able to see that there are just things that are tools and signs that we must follow and that is the life we are supposed to lead, but who or what puts those tools there? is there something greater than I that I chose not to accept?

I don't even know if I believe in angels anymore, but if they weren't in my life then how would I know that everything will be ok? how do I know it's the right thing? why am I only afraid for a few moments and then I am over it and moving forward? so many questions! I'm not really writing this entry for any answers.  I was just laying in bed watching something and then after it was over I felt this sadness come over me, and then he entered my thoughts, the one I called my angel, the one that is no longer in my life and then I began to cry.  Everyone else waits for me with anticipation and excitement except for him, yet he was the reason why I even knew about it, he was almost the reason for doing it and he is no longer there, no longer in my reality.  2X, 2X this week I cried about him, and I missed him so much! but I will not reach out to someone that has only been mean to me for no reason, I cannot be that person anymore, I don't know how to be a victim, because I am no longer one.  But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or that I am not human or that I don't cry, because I do and it is ok.

I called him my angel, and I still believe he was, I hope he is well and I hope that one day he will ask me to forgive him for his harsh hurtful words that he used, because I know that he knows deep down inside of him, that I only meant to be good to him, in any capacity that he allowed me to be in his life, even when he pushed me away because he did not know what genuine looks like.  I am just glad I never asked for anything, because I only want to get, what someone is willing to give, never more.

Journal, Jazzy is sad tonight.  Sweetest of dreams.......


I leave you with Madonna - Playground

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMHRq7yGdkA

FORBIDDEN FRUIT..........

Dear Journal

I feel stuck and a little bit lazy.  I always think about you and how I want to write to you but I'm so excited that I'm done with school, that I kind of want to stare blankly into space and think of nothing. 

Lately, I have been feeling pure joy! like the sort of joy that isn't exuberant but just enough to keep me with a huge smile on my face!

I also have a new crush! but as usual with me, my crush isn't such a good idea, so I'm trying to convince myself not to think of my new crush, except every time I try not to think of him, I actually think of him more!

I mean how can I not think of this tall, thin, fun and handsome guy? He's so damn cool! the worst part is that I know I can't have him, because he has a girlfriend! (Insert sad face) journal, I know that liking someone that has a girlfriend is probably the worst idea I could have to date! but to my defense.... I KNEW HIM FIRST dammit! Literally I met him before she did, but the problem is that he lives in another state so although I spoke to him first, she met him in person first and now that's her man! UGH! the worst part is that I didn't have a crush on him at first, like at first I thought he was handsome and very cool but it was whatever, but then when I finally got to meet him in person I was so damn pissed off that I had waited so long to do so, because had I met him first he might of been into me dammit! 

I honestly think that he didn't bother with me because he didn't know if I was being honest and so to him it was more like whatever just some other random woman on the internet, but then once we met although he hit it off so great, by then it was to late because at that point he was supposedly madly in love! Ugh! These things only happen to me I swear! His girlfriend lives on the other side of the world, does he not know how much of a BAD idea that ends up being??? I did that before! And ended up wasting years of my life blinded by this long distance love that once I had next to me everyday, I couldn't stand! but I would never try to put myself in his face like a home wrecker, because Jazzy believes in Karma! I will not do to the lovely woman what I would not want to be done to me! so I need to find someone else to crush over immediately if not sooner!

I'm telling you right now journal, the next man that shows me interest I'm just going to make him my man even if only to feel like I can do it! Even if it turns out into a hot mess and we end up breaking up a month later! I feel like I NEED to do it, like I need to get out there and try out having a relationship! because not having one is beginning to make me feel abnormal, I need to have a relationship even if it's a shitty one, I think that once I start having them again I'll slowly get it, you know like get how it goes how it's "supposed to be" there are a lot of new changes coming to my life soon though, and while I would love to share every bit of it with you, I cannot just yet.

I will tell you this however, it has to do with newness! I'm sooo excited!

So yeah, at my old age I all of a sudden want to crush over forbidden fruit! Really?? As if there aren't millions of other men out there in the world? Ugh! I hate when I have a crush on one of my friends! That just sucks! But he's so cute! and even though I keep trying to convince myself that he's "not really that cute" I can't find any reason why he isn't! (Insert sad face).  UGH! 

Painting by: Paul Gauguin 

 

I GOT MY BACHELOR'S WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!

Dear Journal -

I'm shacking with excitement but after receiving the news a few minutes ago with my kids by my side that I had passed the final I thought I had flunked because it was sooooooo tough! I found out that I passed it and therefore I am officially the recipient of a Bachelor's in Psychology! so many tears and missing out on so many moments of my children's lives, I hope they understand why I did it and that without them in my life I wouldn't have done any of it.  Thank you my children! I LOVE YOU TO DEATH!

2014 -- Let the adventure begin!!!!!!!!!!!

Journal -

This was my third year having you! I am so lucky that I am able to share you with the world.  I am glad that I can write whatever I want whenever I want and get it off my chest!

I had a mixed year last year, meaning that there were good days and bad ones.  I know that last year I wrote a best of 2012 post telling you all the good things that happened to me in 2012, this year however, I'm not really in the mood to get into it.  I will tell you though that the best day ever, was the day that I was able to hang out with AJ for a few hours! like hanging out sitting talking eating and then watching tv hanging out! that was the highlight of my 2013, spending time with someone I know so much about yet still feel like I know so little.  Someone who showed me his true colors in both good and bad ways, someone who has a very special piece of my heart.

The saddest thing that happened to me in 2013 was saying goodbye to my friend Wilferm (that's not really his name).  In that moment I didn't think that he was saying goodbye to me for good, but he was.  After that day for reasons like I don't know, the fact that I wrote about him? he never spoke to me again.  It was sad, to say goodbye to someone you felt a grand connection to, someone who you had so many things in common with and someone who I considered if nothing else my bud!... Guess not!

Other than that, my year was pretty average.  I traveled to my favorite city in the world in June and that was pretty much the extent of my travels last year.  I was so busy with school and work and life that I really didn't have time for much, thinking back at last year I feel like it was a good mixture of what a year in the life of Jazzy should be. 

2014 started off pretty good though, up until the point where for being nosy and not minding my business, I went onto the blog of Benjamin Nunez (that's not really his name either) and found out that he had had the worst horrible 2013 ever! as I was reading the blog post I couldn't hold back my tears! I was devastated to know that he had such a harsh time and part of me felt happy about it because he is an "asshole" and why didn't he ever speak to me again? why should I care about his shit??? who cares Jazzy? why are you even reading this shit???? but then the kind side of me took hold and my love for him came back and I was sobbing to know that my ex love had been through the toughest time ever!

So... what did Jazzy do? Jazzy did something she had not done in a very long time and called him and left him a voicemail.  I don't care that he won't answer me or that he doesn't care about me or whatever else anyone who reads this might think.  I called him and left him a message because that's what felt right to me at that moment.  I did what any human being that is ok with feeling the way they feel about something should act.  I showed him my love regardless of what he feels for me.  In preaching love, I have found that if I don't give it, it makes me feel like I am not doing something right.  I need to continue to give my love even to those who don't accept it or those who push it away, because I know that in the deepest of their heart and soul, they know my love for them is genuine, sincere and true! I won't hold a grudge because that will only dirty me and my wellbeing and so I love them, all three of the people this post is about and whatever problem they have with me, then that is on them.  I am really really good! life is amazing right now! I am happy, I have no regrets, I have said to the three of them anything I have ever had to say and I feel free.  I don't feel like I carry some sort of something on my chest. 

If I give my unconditional love to those who act mean to me for god know what reason, do you imagine journal how lucky the man that give me love back will be? I was thinking about that this morning.  I kept thinking, goodness! lucky is he who gets this beautiful heart of mine!

So yeah journal! 2014 will most definitely be an amazing year for me, I can feel it in my heart! so many wonderful adventures coming to these pages real soon!

STAY TUNNED!

I leave you with..... The Birth of Venus By: Botticelli
 

 

No more kissing frogs.........

Dear Journal –

I am starting to think that it isn’t kissing that I love, It’s kissing someone I really like or love that I really love.  I hung out with my kissing buddy again last week remember that? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/12/kissing-marathon.html and I don’t like him.  I mean he is handsome and really nice, but I didn’t really enjoy kissing him this time, actually, I was a little grossed out.  That man wanted to devour me it seemed like! and I quite honestly don’t want to be devoured by someone I don’t really like, I’m only pushing myself to like him because I don’t want to be back in that place I was a few years ago where I loved someone sooooo desperately, that no one else would do and I would force myself to like people just so that I could feel normal.  I am not going to see my kissing buddy again, I don’t want to, I won’t force myself to feel that which I don’t.  Kissing was all we did, it felt like a HS kissing marathon and I don't really enjoy those unless I really like someone, or at least that's what I think.  I feel bad, I think I was a little rude to him when I was saying good night, or maybe a bit to honest.  I always get myself in trouble because of my honesty, but someone has to be.

Journal, I miss him so much, I really really do! And I am not referring to the kissing buddy, I am referring to someone else.  I get so upset to think that I miss someone who is always fighting with me for no good reason.  How can someone be upset because you care about them, or because you show them they are special to you, even when you aren’t asking for anything in return? I just don’t get it, how scary is it to some to be happy, to be appreciated by someone.  I feel so bad for him that he doesn’t know how to appreciate someone who only wants the best for him.  I won’t reach out to him again though, no matter how badly it makes me sad that we don’t talk.   

Eventually, I will forget him almost the way I forget my Benjamin… remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html I did say almost, because he has this little tiny piece of me that no one would ever know how to get to, it would be like an adventure to explore, trying to get to that piece of my heart that he still has a hold on, it saddens me that till this day, we can’t sit and have some tea and talk about movies.  How I miss my old friend!

Journal, I am feeling a bit sad today.  But this too shall pass!

KISSING MARATHON! :)

Dear Journal -


I feel happy today! tonight I have a date with that guy I went out with over a month ago and couldn't see him again because I have been so busy! http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2013/11/dear-journal-date-night.html well..... Mr. handsome waited for me all this time just so he could take me out again! I'm so lucky! we don't talk often, we have communicated in this past month that I have not seen him, but not so much that I could say I know him well or anything like that, it's not like talking everyday type of thing, but it's been just enough for me to want to hang out with him and.......... KISS HIM FOR HOURS! OH M...GEEE!!!!!!! can I just tell you that I can't wait to lock lips with him again??? 

Earlier today he told me that he could kiss me for hours because I'm such a great kisser! THANK YOU HANDSOME! then, I was walking down the street with this stupid grin on my face because of the thought that in a few hours I will be in his arms again getting a bunch of kisses out in public! I LOVE IT! I feel like this school girl! and he is only five years younger than I am, so it isn't like I'm doing this with some young guy and that's why I feel like a school girl! I think the fact that he is close in age to me is what makes me even more excited! I never usually like anyone, and honestly I had to convince myself to like him, I mean yes I think he is attractive, but that alone doesn't make me like someone.  However, I told myself that I am going to keep an open mind and give people a fair chance and that if someone wants to offer me attention, than I am going to take it! why not? why do I have to be loyal to my feelings if my feelings steer me wrong? my feelings are usually always for the wrong person, so why be faithful to them? 

NOPE! not anymore! I am going to allow myself to enjoy dating and life the right way! so kiss and kiss I shall! besides, he is really sweet and great to be around! I'm really excited about later and I am even a little nervous! (guys don't EVER make me nervous!) unless I actually like them! maybe I really do! YAY!

Journal, I have much more to say but I am sort of on a time constraint at the moment.  I just wanted to write you because Jazzy never wants you to feel neglected! I have a few entries I shall put on here as soon as I'm done with my kissing marathon! YAY! 

I can't handle you!!! you're too crazy!!!!!!!!!

"I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment and never think of you again" ~ Danielle, Ever After

Dear Journal -

It isn't often that I like someone in a romantic way, so whenever the rare case does happen, I think I get a bit stuck on it, and it takes me a bit longer than usual to get over it.  Maybe though, I am indeed normal and unlike most people that pretend they are over something by moving on to the next person and using that person to forget the person they are trying to get over, I instead embrace what I feel and deal with it, in order not to drag someone into a situation, where they might develop feelings for me yet to me they are just a rebound.  While I did that in the past, I find that growing as a person and as and individual, has taught me that being honest to myself is the best policy.  Yes it is true that I sometimes have feelings for two people simultaneously, and psychologically wise I did find out that it is possible to love two people at the same time, and while I didn't love two people at the same time, I did have romantic feelings for them both yet no one was saying what I wanted to hear, and maybe my honesty was my true enemy, in that by me telling the truth, I unintentionally pushed people away.

So I sat across from him the last time we spoke and he was having a slice of pizza, and although bringing myself back to that moment breaks my heart and tears are now rolling down my cheek, it is important for me to write about that day in order to move on for good.  Yes I am human and things hurt me often, and I walk around being strong because I have no choice but too, but that doesn't mean that it isn't hard.  So we sat there and he told me that he was sure I would find someone new to inspire me, and while I believe his statement to be true, I cannot deny that it isn't that easy for me to find it, and it isn't because I don't have opportunities sometimes, it's more because I am not open to it and I am not anxious for it and I have gotten used to this lonely life, yet not really lonely because I am always surrounded by so many wonderful friends who fulfill me in so many ways.  So he says that to me and I explain to him that you have to be open to it, and that now I think I am.

Before that conversation started however walking to the pizzeria, he expresses to me that he does not want me to write about him anymore, "why can't you write about other things" he says.  So I try explain that no one knows it's him and then he continues by giving me a name to call him in my next post about him, which clearly contradicts what he is telling me he wishes me to do.  Am I to think that he was conflicted about who I was to him, as much as I was about who he was to me? I can only hope that if nothing else, I was someone kind, genuine and sincere with my thoughts and feelings for him and that anything that I ever said whether or not he found it upsetting, I only said it with a caring heart, never to hurt, or upset, or revenge whatever I couldn't get from him.

But it isn't that exact moment which brings me to write today this post, it isn't that at all.  It is the last few exchanged words that stayed on my mind for the last 5 months, the last few words that he said to me, that really keep me wondering, what exactly about me was so scary? after a tight hug, he looked at me and told me that I had potential, that he saw it, but that I was "too crazy" and he "couldn't handle me" upon hearing those words, I was speechless, imagine someone telling you, that you are great, sort of, but that you are something to "be handled" and that handling you is difficult at best.  As quick as I usually am, sometimes it takes a while for things to really dawn on me (5 months to be exact) and after thinking about it not everyday, but often enough, I couldn't help but to come up with a conclusion of my own interpretation of what that meant.  And while to him it might of just been some words and after that day he has never thought about me again, to me those few words hurt me deeply.

What am I? am I just a thing to be handled? was I just a situation? just a person who is "crazy?" but is crazy not just a term people use to describe that which they do not understand? is it not a term to describe difference? because sometimes some people are not what you think they are supposed to be? and you can't find a category in which you can place them? so many things that you can't quite grasp them? and why is it that because someone is different, does someone feel they need to "handle them." What ever happened to giving someone the opportunity to just be? what about giving yourself the opportunity to think outside the box, to give yourself a chance to explore something different and new.  And what happened to people being honest and saying maybe what they really think? he could of said so many other things like,  You are too old for me (6 years to be exact) you are to different for me, you are not what I am looking for, I want children and marriage and you don't, you're too fat/skinny, you aren't smart enough, you like things that I don't and it would never work, I have things that I have to deal with because I am not well, I realized that I am in love with someone else.  I don't know, there are so many things you can tell someone you led to believe that they were a friend, someone who treated you neighborly, someone who was always honest.  So many things that sound better than... "I can't handle you, you are too crazy for me." 

The worst part about this whole thing is that I have been told that by others in the past, my whole marriage I had to hear how I was too crazy and he couldn't "handle me" so it leads me to believe that maybe I am the problem, maybe I should allow men to "handle me" because it will make them feel more comfortable, maybe I should mold myself into this ideal of what a woman "should be" and suppress who I truly am because then maybe people will be happier and feel like they have some control.  I have felt like I couldn't handle someone in the past and when I realized that I couldn't handle them, I realized that what that meant is that I didn't want to deal with who they were and that I had a choice of dealing with it or not and then I decided to deal with it but it was too late.  

So maybe by writing this post I just revealed to myself what he really meant and what he meant was that he didn't want to deal with me because I wasn't worth it and that is why after that last day we saw each other and gave each other a goodbye hug, he never again acknowledged my existence.  Which leads me to believe that the one with the problem is not me, it's him.  Yes I said very many things, but I said them trying to be helpful, and maybe sometimes people don't like to be told about themselves because it's scary, because we don't want to accept what we fail to see about ourselves.  I never once in what I said ever ever said anything to i intentionally make him feel bad about himself, nor did I do it to hurt his feelings.  If I ever said things it was because I truly cared for him, more so than what I thought that I did, more than I wanted to accept, more than I could almost handle.  But if he would of given me a chance to be truly his friend and to truly exchange ideas about what we saw in each other as people, even he couldn't deny that we had potential, potential to have something wonderful, something real and awesome.  It doesn't matter anymore, I have moved on with my life and am not sitting around waiting for anything or anyone, so after this post, I will finally leave it all behind me because a new year will be here soon and great things are coming my way.  I also want to continue to try to be respectful of that which he asked of me without probably meaning it, and that was, for me to never write about him again......

As you wished.....

This post is related to... http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/07/dear-journal-is-it-just-little-crush.html

I leave you with... New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uEBuqkkQRk

DON'T COME NEAR ME!

Dear Journal -

Sometimes I think.... I don't really want to write everything everything everything that goes on in my mind, but then I think, I need to write it all! Someone ones told me that sometimes the way I wrote left her wondering exactly what it was that I was talking about, it was almost as if I was writing a subliminal message, almost if I am writing a "secret" message for the person who it is intended for, to be the only to understand it.  Anyone else, would have to try to decipher through it to know what I am talking about.  I told her that there were times that I wrote this way on purpose, because deep down I didn't want anyone else but that person to know, because if I wrote it so obvious that everyone could see it, then how would this be a personal thing to us, or to the person that I was sending the secret message to and that if she couldn't understand sometimes my entries, then I was doing a good job at trying to hide the truth and that made me feel happy.

He used to send me subliminal messages, I know that he did.... remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html Benjamin.  AW! did you think I had forgotten my old friend? never that.  No I don't sit around and cry about him anymore or miss him the way I once did, but sure I remember him with warm loving thoughts, never hate, never anger, never that. This message isn't for him though, this message is actually for someone that I keep deep in my heart, very close to it, so close it sometimes hurts a whole lot.  I am not really sure if he ever visits this journal, nor do I know if he will ever read this entry, but if he did, then this is what he would find out.....

The last time we spoke with actual words and sounds it was on the day he celebrated his birth.  After that things felt strange and we stopped speaking yet again.  Today I went on his little piece of the world wide web and I stared at a picture of him, and my eyes got watery and I felt really sad.  What is it about him that makes me feel this way? that is what I thought.  Why is it you that makes me sad? and I stared and wondered why is it that he used to bad mouth the same space on the world wide web he now frequents? or is it that it is me he did not want to have a connection on there with? and if so, why would it ever even matter? for so long I was pushed away to the point that now I am shut down, buried deep in a sadness that I will not allow myself to feel and not even he would make me happy even, because I gave up on him.  But I do not think I ever even tried, all I wanted was to know him, to partake in some way in his life, to be the friend that once upon a time we had been, to share ideas and words and laughter.   What is it about me that he can't handle? or is it I the one with the problem and I don't want to accept it?  So I continued to stare at the picture and only sad thoughts filled my head.  But I wanted to keep looking, because seeing that made me feel sad and a little better all at once, to know that for a moment on the same day he was there too in that same piece of the artificially created world and that meant that he was alive, somewhere in this real world, the one we all walk around in.

I am starting a new chapter of this thing called my life really soon, and everything from the past there I will leave it.


Don't come near me
By: Jazzy

Don't come near me I will kill you with my anger, don't come near me I will kill you with my pain, don't come near me I will stab you with my dirty looks, don't come near me I will take you back again.......

Key Keeper

Key Keeper

By: Jazzy

The Keeper of the key, is no longer with me.

I pulled I tugged, I tried but failed! I even tried to cast a spell!

But all is well, I will excel! 

I'll let him keep the key, because forever he, will have a very special piece of me.  

I will keep him in my memory, and send him much mental love and positive energy, and grant him what he's been wishing, for so long the same words he said but I didn't listen.

But the time has finally come, so I'll leave it all behind and I'll leave him with the key for all eternity, because forever he, will have a little piece of me.  

Keep the key for I have sealed the chamber that it opens.....

Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

I will always be here for you.....you know it all to well.....


Green Day - Wake me up when September ends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU9JoFKlaZ0