Dear Journal:
What a lovely day it has been for me today. I woke up a bit early and started my day with a text message that I sent to someone who I really like. Yes, there is a new man invading my thoughts! the other day, I was telling one of my class mates about this guy that I sometimes txt with and telling him all these funny things that have been happening to me and both of us started laughing hysterically in my car, because what would appear to be my love life, is like a series of stories that in my mind involve crazy men and their antics and me in the middle of it all. Additionally, the truth is that I don't have a "real" love life, my whole social life it seems is one big virtual world that I must simply write to you about!
No no no journal, don't think I don't go out and actually meet anyone, I have met many many nice people in person that I initially met online, but for the most part, most of my conversations and socializing is done through the internet and so it is hard for me not to go back in time and in my thoughts and compare myself to him, the one that got away, MY LOVE! yes I know I said I wasn't going to write about him ever again on my journal, but I can because I am not so sensitive about him as I once was, although I did cry all the way to work the other morning thinking of him and wondering why it is that he doesn't speak to me still. Someday I have this feeling deep in my soul, that we will be friends again, but until that day comes, I shall continue to understand all that is around me and further investigate my thoughts and feelings and share them with the world through you, my little journal vehicle to the world wide web.
So yes dear journal, the other day my class mate and I laughed really hard and he called me a player and I answered, yes I am! to my defense, in my mind a player is just simply someone who talks to a lot of people of the opposite sex and I believe they do so, because they are trying to find that which they had and lost and cannot find in any one else, or maybe let me rephrase that, I am a player according to "society" because I talk to a lot of men. The key word in the last sentence is talk. I talk and that is what I do. I don't have two relationships at the same time, I don't lie to anyone, I don't run around with married men or men in relationships I don't sleep with everyone that I come across and I most certainly am not cheating on anyone, so, I guess the fact that I talk to a bunch of people that happen to be men, makes me a player, oh well.
I have however, been thinking about this one guy a bit more then average lately, he continues to pick my interest and that happens to me, but not long enough or often either. This one I like, he's cool I guess but the sad thing about it is, NO ONE gets me excited so I just sort of go with the flow about things. So I woke up this morning and did something I never do, I sent him a good morning message because I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him. I have never seen him yet and he lives literally, 10 minutes away from me. Will I ever see him? yeah I guess at some point, but there is no rush in my life, I am seriously learning to live in the moment. HARD AS IT IS!
Lately I have been thinking very much about what I want to get my Masters degree in or actually not what I want to get my degree in because I know I'm getting it in Psychology, but I am not sure what sort of Psychology I want to specialize in. I have been seriously considering Sex Therapy and the reason for that is that I feel very comfortable talking about sex and really really want to learn about it and be able to help couples and victims of sex crimes to deal with their problems. The other thing I really like is relationships and helping others cope with different aspects of it. Imagine me being a counselor to couples, yet I don't even have a man WTF! God I love this stuff! it's so amazing!
Everyday I am so happy that I went back to school to do what I initially set out to do 18 years ago when I walked off the line at John Jay College for Criminal Justice where I was going to study Forensic Psychology, which by the way no longer interest me.
I don't know but I feel like there was a journey I had to finish first before I could embark on this new one, this new one being my academic career maybe I had to live and learn so that I could maybe understand better and one day help people not only because I understand their thoughts from what I am learning academically, but I could also say things like, I understand because I have been there too! there is something about being able to relate to another person that is really comforting and makes you, no not you reading this silly! I meant people, feel better about what they may be experiencing. I can go on and on about that, because that is related to Social Psychology which I am currently learning and it is amazing!
There was one interesting thing my friend did say that made me think like hmmm! he said to me, Jazz, you should write about your escapades! but I thought to myself, don't escapades require some sex stories??? well, those sorts of stories I cannot put on a blog like this, my blog is PG13 and those I will keep for my book someday. Boy do I have some interesting things to tell!
Ok, gotta start reading for my class tomorrow. Good night journal!
I leave you with the song I cried to on the train this week... It's in Spanish... I hope you will enjoy it if you listen to it or at the very least enjoy the music if you don't understand the lyrics...
Tu - Shakira
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yu5qeVEKFo&feature=related
What a lovely day it has been for me today. I woke up a bit early and started my day with a text message that I sent to someone who I really like. Yes, there is a new man invading my thoughts! the other day, I was telling one of my class mates about this guy that I sometimes txt with and telling him all these funny things that have been happening to me and both of us started laughing hysterically in my car, because what would appear to be my love life, is like a series of stories that in my mind involve crazy men and their antics and me in the middle of it all. Additionally, the truth is that I don't have a "real" love life, my whole social life it seems is one big virtual world that I must simply write to you about!
No no no journal, don't think I don't go out and actually meet anyone, I have met many many nice people in person that I initially met online, but for the most part, most of my conversations and socializing is done through the internet and so it is hard for me not to go back in time and in my thoughts and compare myself to him, the one that got away, MY LOVE! yes I know I said I wasn't going to write about him ever again on my journal, but I can because I am not so sensitive about him as I once was, although I did cry all the way to work the other morning thinking of him and wondering why it is that he doesn't speak to me still. Someday I have this feeling deep in my soul, that we will be friends again, but until that day comes, I shall continue to understand all that is around me and further investigate my thoughts and feelings and share them with the world through you, my little journal vehicle to the world wide web.
So yes dear journal, the other day my class mate and I laughed really hard and he called me a player and I answered, yes I am! to my defense, in my mind a player is just simply someone who talks to a lot of people of the opposite sex and I believe they do so, because they are trying to find that which they had and lost and cannot find in any one else, or maybe let me rephrase that, I am a player according to "society" because I talk to a lot of men. The key word in the last sentence is talk. I talk and that is what I do. I don't have two relationships at the same time, I don't lie to anyone, I don't run around with married men or men in relationships I don't sleep with everyone that I come across and I most certainly am not cheating on anyone, so, I guess the fact that I talk to a bunch of people that happen to be men, makes me a player, oh well.
I have however, been thinking about this one guy a bit more then average lately, he continues to pick my interest and that happens to me, but not long enough or often either. This one I like, he's cool I guess but the sad thing about it is, NO ONE gets me excited so I just sort of go with the flow about things. So I woke up this morning and did something I never do, I sent him a good morning message because I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him. I have never seen him yet and he lives literally, 10 minutes away from me. Will I ever see him? yeah I guess at some point, but there is no rush in my life, I am seriously learning to live in the moment. HARD AS IT IS!
Lately I have been thinking very much about what I want to get my Masters degree in or actually not what I want to get my degree in because I know I'm getting it in Psychology, but I am not sure what sort of Psychology I want to specialize in. I have been seriously considering Sex Therapy and the reason for that is that I feel very comfortable talking about sex and really really want to learn about it and be able to help couples and victims of sex crimes to deal with their problems. The other thing I really like is relationships and helping others cope with different aspects of it. Imagine me being a counselor to couples, yet I don't even have a man WTF! God I love this stuff! it's so amazing!
Everyday I am so happy that I went back to school to do what I initially set out to do 18 years ago when I walked off the line at John Jay College for Criminal Justice where I was going to study Forensic Psychology, which by the way no longer interest me.
I don't know but I feel like there was a journey I had to finish first before I could embark on this new one, this new one being my academic career maybe I had to live and learn so that I could maybe understand better and one day help people not only because I understand their thoughts from what I am learning academically, but I could also say things like, I understand because I have been there too! there is something about being able to relate to another person that is really comforting and makes you, no not you reading this silly! I meant people, feel better about what they may be experiencing. I can go on and on about that, because that is related to Social Psychology which I am currently learning and it is amazing!
There was one interesting thing my friend did say that made me think like hmmm! he said to me, Jazz, you should write about your escapades! but I thought to myself, don't escapades require some sex stories??? well, those sorts of stories I cannot put on a blog like this, my blog is PG13 and those I will keep for my book someday. Boy do I have some interesting things to tell!
Ok, gotta start reading for my class tomorrow. Good night journal!
I leave you with the song I cried to on the train this week... It's in Spanish... I hope you will enjoy it if you listen to it or at the very least enjoy the music if you don't understand the lyrics...
Tu - Shakira
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yu5qeVEKFo&feature=related
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