One of the biggest challenges of my life to date, is being a single mom to two boys. Man, it is tough trying to explain to a boy, that masturbating is perfectly natural, doing it with a straight face and acting like you know what it's like, when you have absolutely no idea what the hell you are talking about! THAT SHIT IS CRAZY! It sure was! but I did it and I think I did ok. I mean, I had to do it, because the last thing I wanted was for my child to go to some one on the street or someone they thought they trusted and had conversations with them about sex. To me, it was important that my boys and in the future girl, is comfortable talking to me about any subject, sex included.
Of course after I had that conversation with my oldest and he looked at me like yeah ok mom whatever you say, I had to call my cousin and ask him what a boy felt the first time he did that. And, his and all my other male friends answer to that question was always the same, they said. That shit felt good and I wanted to keep doing it! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT ANSWER! which helped me very little. It is very important in my opinion, to be honest and open with your kids about things in life that are real and that are hard to hide from them. I have always been one of those parents which other parents probably talk bad about and judge, because I don't shelter my kids from the realities of the world. There is NO such thing as a fairy tale story, and therefore, I am not going to sugar coat the world for them so that they can go around thinking that everything is so wonderful. Life is tough and they need to understand it. There is good and there is bad and they need to know that.
So, the other day when I heard my youngest son saying something absolutely obnoxious about a woman, I could not believe my ears and as I was driving on a highway doing nearly 80 miles an hour feeling a bit grossed out and in disbelief, I had to sit there and not lie, but sort of sugar coat some stuff, because I didn't want my kid to go around thinking that whatever he sees on a porn video, that he shouldn't be watching but probably has behind my back, is not how sex really is. At least not for the most part.
Now I am no sexual expert although I am highly considering making sexology my concentration when I get into my post grad studies, but I have had sex, I have watched porn and I have talked about this topic with hundreds of people. What my son said, which I don't remember exactly what his words were, was something that sounded like something he had seen on a porn clip and I had to tell my son, that the way things seem in a porn movie, is not how it really works with a woman.
Sometimes I get annoyed at the fact that porno, gives women this obligation that we are the ones that are supposed to be doing all these things to "please a man" porno is obviously tailored for men, but it's very upsetting that this is what young boys watch and then they grow up thinking that women really do all these things. I am not saying that some don't and or that they won't, but for the most part, I don't believe that the majority of women will.
I don't want to really get into technicalities here about what I am referring to, because this is not a topic that I want to get into too much detail about, on my PG13 blog. But, I have to admit that porno is highly influential, it has influenced me and I am not a teenager, I 'm a grown woman. So, imagine what it does to a mind of a young man? or young woman? sometimes I have found myself thinking, well, why not do that? and, I don't even watch porn regularly, actually, I didn't watch porn until I was like 37 years old, because before then I felt very uncomfortable about my sexuality and sex and porn and all sex things in general, but once I became interested in the human mind and when I started to try to understand myself and all the different branches of psychology and all the things women go through including myself when it comes to hormones and getting older and feeling a certain way without wanting to, I went on a site and I watched one and then I just randomly have seen some videos and for the most part I am like WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?? I couldn't do that! WOW! some of these women are like super women in bed, it kind of makes me nervous, to think that men out there in the world have these expectations that are highly unlikely. Most of the time women won't succumb to most of the things on these movies.
Sometimes I get annoyed at the fact that porno, gives women this obligation that we are the ones that are supposed to be doing all these things to "please a man" porno is obviously tailored for men, but it's very upsetting that this is what young boys watch and then they grow up thinking that women really do all these things. I am not saying that some don't and or that they won't, but for the most part, I don't believe that the majority of women will.
I don't want to really get into technicalities here about what I am referring to, because this is not a topic that I want to get into too much detail about, on my PG13 blog. But, I have to admit that porno is highly influential, it has influenced me and I am not a teenager, I 'm a grown woman. So, imagine what it does to a mind of a young man? or young woman? sometimes I have found myself thinking, well, why not do that? and, I don't even watch porn regularly, actually, I didn't watch porn until I was like 37 years old, because before then I felt very uncomfortable about my sexuality and sex and porn and all sex things in general, but once I became interested in the human mind and when I started to try to understand myself and all the different branches of psychology and all the things women go through including myself when it comes to hormones and getting older and feeling a certain way without wanting to, I went on a site and I watched one and then I just randomly have seen some videos and for the most part I am like WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?? I couldn't do that! WOW! some of these women are like super women in bed, it kind of makes me nervous, to think that men out there in the world have these expectations that are highly unlikely. Most of the time women won't succumb to most of the things on these movies.
Anyway, I am not even sure why I thought to write about this topic when I have absolutely no clue about it other than the fact that I know EVERYONE wants to have sex or feels the need to have sex and that sex is a natural human desire that we have even when we are very small. A fact I know to be true is that girls begin to masturbate when they are about 3 to 4 years old unknowingly, girls touch themselves and feel a certain way and that is a natural thing that they go through without knowing, it is innocent and natural. Likewise, boys go through the same thing, they explore their genitals at a very young age, so we all want sex, it's part of being human. So, I guess I wanted to put this on here to maybe clear my own thoughts and I don't know, open up the topic about it on my blog because if I do decide to go the route of sexology, I want to be able to write about it comfortably.
I just want to ask anyone that comes across my blog and reads this post, that just because someone is promiscuous and or has certain sexual desires that are not the same as your own, it doesn't necessarily give anyone the right to call them names or think badly of them or any of that. Before you go around judging people based on their sexual preferences, look at yourself first and ask yourself if you are a perfect human being, if you say yes, then go ahead judge. Just because someone is a certain way, it doesn't give any one the right to call that person names. Just because I like sex, want to have sex and enjoy talking about sex, doesn't mean that I am comfortable with someone calling me a MILF, because I want to be liked for who I am, not for what my sexual preferences may be. So please, watch your words when referring to a woman.
HAD TO PUT THIS SONG TO ACCOMPANY THIS BLOG POST... LOVE IT!
Madonna - Like a virgin!
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