Never be conflicted about being nice……..

 "Love All, Trust a Few, do wrong to none" ~ 

William Shakespeare

Ok, so first and foremost I stole the title to this blog post from someone who truly changed my life forever and whom I loved deeply for five years.  Loved, yes that is the truth because I am no longer in love with Benjamin Nunez. http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html It was so easy for me to have found myself completed enamored with him.  He is such an amazing human being.  It was a pleasure being friends with him once upon a time.  Benjamin is probably one of the kindest human beings on this earth and yes, maybe he wasn’t very nice to me after a while, but believe it or not, I know and understand why and I don’t hold grudges and I further know that one day he will be ok with being my friend again when the time is right. 

I still however find myself being greatly inspired by the things he used to say and the things he believed in and the life that he follows.  Of course like all other human beings he isn’t perfect in any way shape or form, but in my eyes he always was and always will be just that, perfect! I stole the title of one of his blog posts because he once wrote about the fact that sometimes he would feel conflicted about doing nice things because people took his kindness the wrong way sometimes and now I understand what it was he was feeling because that is happening to me lately.  I have been very conflicted about being nice lately.  Additionally, someone in my life asked me the other day to please not do nice things for them.  This to me is very confusing and very awkward but also very challenging.  

I am a nice person so sorry, forgive me for that.  I like to make my friends feel happy, I like to give everyone around me love and I like to make people smile if I can.  I don’t have money to share with the less fortunate, I don’t have time to go and volunteer anywhere and the one thing I was able to do as a giving gesture every three months, which was donating blood, I was not able to do this year because I traveled abroad and was told I could not give my blood due to the fact that I was in a country where I might be in contact with lime disease.  So, what else can I give since I am someone who enjoys giving? I give my LOVE, because that is all I have to give.

However, when someone tells me not to give them things when I haven’t given them anything materialistic, I am very conflicted because all of a sudden I feel like I did something wrong when all I was trying to do was be myself.  All of my life men take my kindness as me liking them in a romantic way and that’s why so often I hold back from doing things especially for my male friends because I don’t want them to get the wrong idea, but in my heart because they mean so much to me as people, I yearn to give them my love.  Some are very accepting of it because they understand it yet others I still feel like I can't because I don't want to confuse anyone, yet I am always clear with my male friends as to where they stand in my life.  So why should I feel conflicted about showing them how special they are to me?

I LOVE ALL PEOPLE! in my home, the word I love you is constantly used, kisses and hugs and affection is what I know to give my beautiful amazing children and they have gotten used to this unconditional constant love and affection that I give them and they have learned how to give it back.  My four year old daughter is always telling everyone she loves them, what is wrong with that?

It saddens me that people don’t know how to accept love from others and makes me think that this world definitely needs more people learning how to express their love to one another because clearly there isn’t enough of it going around.  When I say to someone I LOVE YOU! it doesn’t mean I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I am IN LOVE with AJ http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html and he knows it because I told him.  He accepts it and is ok with it because he loves me too! Now does it mean he is in love with me? I don’t know, but the fact still remains that he is comfortable with the fact that I love him, because he knows me enough to know that I know how to love and that I understand where I stand and therefore he accepts it and doesn't abuse it or reject it, because we both know it just is.  

I believe that if we love someone we should let them know period! instead of us keeping in our feelings and suppressing our feelings, isn’t it nicer to just let people know what they mean to you? why keep in such an amazing beautiful thing like love from someone?  imagine how lucky it is to have love from someone in this huge big world! WOW!

But then there are those people that don’t understand those that are loving and they don't understand that it doesn't mean that I love you has to be a term only used for romantic love.  I love a TON of people! and when my friends tell me they love me, that makes me feel so completely happy, imagine! people love me as I am, even though I am completely insane! that is pretty darn cool! I wish I could make some people understand that just because I tell someone that they are special, it doesn’t mean I am trying to marry them.  I am sick and tired of feeling like showing my love to people will confuse them because they don’t understand what love is all about.  

Even on dating sites when I try to be nice to men by letting them know in a loving way that I am not interested in them romantically, I get told off.  All the while all I am doing is showing love to them, most women don't even waste their time responding, yet me, I try to be nice to people and get told off.  Regardless, I will be damned if I allow anyone to tell me what I can or cannot do to show someone they are special in this cruel crazy world.  So I will continue to be me and never ever again be conflicted about being nice, because everyone needs a loving kind word.

So, before you go around rejecting people's kind gestures of love, stop and think, that everything doesn't have to be about romance, there are many different types of love.  Don't reject love when given to you, instead be happy, be proud and be accepting.  Don't abuse it if you can’t return it in the same way, but respect the person that is offering it and be gentle and kind to their heart.  Imagine! someone loves you! how awesome is that? 

THIS WORLD NEEDS MORE LOVE……SPREAD IT AROUND……..