Dear Journal:
My love sent me a message. Sometimes when I see these messages I
perceive them as a sign a smoke signal that only I can read. The messages are directed at me and no one else
in the world would ever be the wiser. His
intelligence is beyond comprehension for it is his mind I have been enamored
with all of these years. He does things with just the right precision at just the right moment, he waits with patience knowing that I will never go away and deep down inside knowing that he doesn't want me too. I wrote him and he responded. How can I
possibly ever give my love to anyone else? I cannot, because I know he still
speaks to me! It is quite difficult to find anything else in this world that
makes me feel even remotely in the slightest way the true and complete
happiness that I feel just by seeing one little sign from him, a picture in
this case. HOPE! may I dare to have it? to believe
that one day my love will come back? What if I gave up and he came back to
me? what would be of our love?
He spoke to me with a picture and a picture
is worth a thousand words. Of course to
any other individual that picture is just of a skyline on a gloomy day, but to
me however, because my heart is full of love for him, I perceive the picture
the way I feel. For perception is not seeing
things as they are, but rather it is seeing things as we are. I know this because it is Cognitive Psychology,
I study it, I try to learn it and I want to use it to help myself to be well,
mentally, emotionally, internally, externally.
But let me dream! for dreaming makes me feel happy and dreams they do come true. The picture spoke to
me directly, like it could only speak to me.
But…. What did it say? What is he trying
to tell me? he took a picture of the sky line on a gloomy day.
Well, he knows that I love architecture, I take pictures of buildings and skylines all the time, he has observed my patterns for years and knows how much I love to take pictures of such things, he also knows that I love gloomy
days. Many times we spoke about how much
we loved the rain and how gloomy days didn’t make us feel gloomy at all. And then there was that time, the time that I
went to him during a thunderstorm and we found each other on the street and we
were both soaking wet, it was like a scene in a romance movie, and if I told someone the
story, they would not believe me, but it did happen. I was walking away giving up on seeing him
and it was thundering and the rain was falling really heavy and when I looked
up there he was! my love! soaking wet, his wet tee shirt hugging his muscular
body, for my loves body is like that of a body builder so tall and handsome and
big muscles the kind of arms you want to have wrapped about your small figure,
the kind of hands you want to touch your soft skin…... Sigh……. My love!
The picture? The picture said to me,
Jazzy I still think of you! You were in my thoughts for so many years that
there is no way you can have abandoned them. You are still my love and when I
lay with her, it is you I dream of. With
this picture I am letting you know that I have not gone from you yet, you are
still ever so present in me in my life and my deepest desires. For I never shared
a kiss with you but the day we finally do, our kiss will take our breath away and no
other kiss but the ones from your lips will ever again do! You are the only woman
that can inspire me deeply, how will I ever let you go?
Thank you for you message my love! It will allow me to be well for weeks and days and months to come. I see
it, I feel it and I understand it. No
one else will ever know and no one else will ever understand this love so true………
I twisted and turned and twisted and
turned and I woke up, tears on my eyes…. I MISS MY LOVE!
Somebody's me - Enrique Iglesias
WOW! This post made me cry when I read it 9 years later, he inspired something in me that I don't know that anyone else will ever inspire in me again, or will there one day be that person that will make me feel all these things he did?
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