Dear Men: WHAT A WOMAN REALLY WANTS!

"I have loved to the point of madness/That which is called madness/That which to me/Is the only sensible way to love." - Francoise Sagan

About two weeks ago or so, I met this guy on Tagged who sent me an email asking about the URL to my blog.  I told him that he could find the link to it on my FB page and befriended him on there and we exchanged a few emails back and forth about it.  The last email he sent me, he wished me luck with my writing and told me to let him know when I wrote a post about “what women really want” NOW THAT IS A TOUGH ONE!

I have been thinking about his question for over a week and when I think about what women really want, I can’t help but to keep thinking that the best way for me to explain what women really want is by giving examples.  Sure I can write all the different words to describe what (I) or woman really want, but I think that by giving examples of real life experiences, it gives it a greater meaning.   I hope that my examples will give whoever comes across this post, a sense of what it is a women really wants or at least women in general.  I have talked about this subject with women of all ages and I think it is safe to say that it’s standard sort of.  Of course, some want diamonds and pearls and cars houses and Gucci bags but I am not writing about those women, I am writing about the ones that understand that it’s not about material things.

Example 1:

The day that I met Benjamin Nunez (the last person I was/am in love with) I was about four months pregnant but I did not have a pregnant belly yet, I was just heavy about 20 pounds heavier than I am now.  Therefore, I did not look pregnant I looked fat.  After we became friends he told me about a year later that the first time he saw me he couldn’t believe I spoke to him because he thought I was hot.  In reality, the day I met him, my hair was short and looked all messy, I was wearing these maternity pants that were horrible, I had dark circles under my eyes and was pale from throwing up constantly, yet he saw me “hot” and for that, I loved him! so, needles to say I think every woman wants a man that to him, she is the most beautiful woman in the world no matter how she looks to the rest of the world.

Example 2:

While Benjamin and I were friends and I was pregnant (but separated from my husband) I told him that my back was really really hurting me.  He was always very sympathetic of my aches and pains, so this one time I am sitting at work and in comes a woman asking for me, she comes over to me and hands me a gift certificate and says to me that that is a gift that was sent to me for a prenatal massage.  At that moment I thought to myself.. what the hell?? And my facial expression was of shock, So she looks at me and clearly realizes that I don’t know who sent me the certificate.  So she says to me, oh, you don’t know who sent it? and she proceeds with…. Benjamin sent it.  After she left I started to cry! It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.  So, I guess that every woman wants a thoughtful man, one that even if he can’t do something specific to help you with your problem in this case (my aches) he will be resourceful in figuring out how to make her feel better! for this…… I loved him!

Example 3:

While Benjamin and I were friends, I registered in college.  I had been out of school for over 10 years and I was really really nervous and scared.  The moment I walked out of the school after registering, I sent him a text message telling him that I was officially a college student and then proceeded my message with… I am sitting at a staircase crying because I am really scared (because I was) and then I said, what if I fail? What if I fail my children? Benjamin’s reply to me was…. I BELIEVE IN YOU! In that moment, all my fears were gone, I felt stronger.  So, needless to say, I guess every woman wants a man that BELIEVES IN HER AND HER ABILITIES! Benjamin believed in me and my abilities and for this…. I loved him!

Example 4:

While Benjamin and I were friends, we were talking about this one song and how he thought I should have that song in my romantic music mix, when he told me that, I explained to him how I did not have a romantic music mix and how in fact, I didn’t listen to music (something that I had stopped doing do to my unhappiness) A few weeks later, Benjamin made me my very own romantic music mix, needles to say, he brought music back into my life! So, I guess that every woman wants a man that will figure out ways to make you smile when you are unhappy no matter how much time it takes him to figure out a way to do it, in this case he took time out of his day to do something special just for me….. for this, I LOVED HIM!

Example 5:

While Benjamin and I were friends, I didn’t know anyone he did.  One day, I went away to Spain and bought him back a little gift.  I wanted to send it to him as a surprise, so I sent his business partner an email asking him for the office address but first apologizing to him for bothering him and telling him who I was.  When his business partner wrote me back, his email read: are you Jazzy? the one who is pregnant? I have heard sooooo much about you!  I am sure he will be VERY happy when he receives your surprise.  When I read that email, I could not believe my eyes! Benjamin, the man I was falling in love with, talked about me to his friends WOW! So, needles to say, every woman wants a man that talks to the whole world about her, because he wants to brag about how awesome she is! for that….. I loved him…

Example 6:

While I was friends with AJ (someone else who I was falling in love with) we were getting to know each other but he lived in a different state.  Regardless, one day, I had a situation where my car broke down and my first instinct was to call him because I felt like a damsel in distress! Immediately, although AJ was in another state he started trying to think of ways in which he could help me AJ felt that he “needed to take care of his woman” so, needless to say, every woman wants a man that will figure out how to get her out of trouble no matter what, who or how he needs to do it.  For this…. I love and miss him!

Example 7: 

When I lived in Florida and was madly in love with HEX, on Valentine’s day I had not had the chance to see him because he was busy doing I can’t remember what.  Anyway, I was thinking that my baby had forgotten that It was valentine’s day and I felt really bad.  Late that afternoon, Hex called me and said baby, I need you to meet me at xyz place, when I get there he is waiting for me and says wait right here and goes back to his car and comes out with flowers and a singing teddy bear.  OH MY GOD! I was so happy! My baby loved me! he hugged and kissed me and started singing to me along with the bear, it was awesome! so, needles to say, every woman wants a man that will give her flowers and act like a fool in front of her if that is what he needs to do to be romantic. Because there is no shame when it comes to the woman he loves!... For this…. I LOVED HIM!

Example 8:

When I was married to my first husband, he was a total bad boy.  The one thing that I have to say about him is, that with him I always felt safe.  I knew that my man could take care of me if I was in physical danger.  One day, I got into a fight with someone and I got in all sorts of trouble.   When he found out, he was ready to beat someone up.  My man was going to protect me even if he was going to have to end up in jail.  Obviously, this is an extreme scenario and a man can protect a woman without being violent.  But, needless to say…every woman wants a man that will protect her, no matter what he needs to do to make sure she is safe! For this, I loved my Ron dearly! (may his soul rest in peace!)

Example 9:

When I was married to my first husband, I was attending college to get my Associates degree.  I had a little boy (who was not his son) yet while I would do my homework, he would take my baby who at the time was a year and a half old and would take care of him for me so that I could do my school work, he would always tell me not to worry because he would feed and change the baby, for me to focus and get my A’s.  Needles to say, every woman wants a man that will be supportive of her goals and dreams… For this, I loved him dearly! (may his soul rest in peace!)

Example 10:

My last ex husband, works for a fashion company where there are nothing but beautiful women mostly models.  I always felt extremely insecure, because I knew that here I was a mere mortal…heavy, older than him, stretch marks, cellulite you name it I probably have it.  Yet there my man went to work each and every day with models ALL DAY LONG! One day after we had already broken up he told me that although he would be surrounded by beautiful women all day long, all he ever thought about during the day, was how badly he couldn’t wait to get home to me.  I couldn’t believe he waited to tell me this after it was too late! Regardless, every woman wants a man that only has eyes for her.  For this… I loved him very much!

Example 11:

My first love (who is my oldest sons dad) loved me to death! It was crazy and pretty intense at times.  Back then we both lived separate but alone, we were very young and neither one of us had parents that we could count on, all we had was each other.  His grandmother would give him an allowance every day, so that he could buy himself food, I will never forget that the amount of money he got was three dollars.  As soon as his grandmother would give him his money, he would turn to me and say...Baby here take a dollar fifty I don’t want you to be outside without any money.  Needles to say, every woman wants a man that will try to provide for her no matter how tough the situation may be for him.  A man will find a way to make sure his woman is taken care of with her financially needs no matter how little he is able to provide.  For that reason, I loved him so…..

Example 12:

For my last example, I will reference someone who is only a friend.  This morning, I sent him a text message expressing to him how I felt really sad today and how I had seen my girlfriend last night who lives in another state (the same state where he actually lives) and how I am so tired of this city and feel so down and just went on and on to him about the situation.  When I was done, he said to me, “I understand.” Needless to say, every woman wants a man that will listen to her and understand her without judgment.  Because sometimes we aren’t asking a man to solve the problem (men want to solve the problem it’s their nature) however, sometimes we just want someone to LISTEN and simply UNDERSTAND! When he responded that he understood, he made me smile! And all of a sudden I felt better! For this…. I love my friend!

Most importantly a woman wants your UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! since I am not a man, I can’t explain how that might feel to a man, but Barry White says it pretty well so I will leave you with Barry….

Barry White - My First, My Last, My Everything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdTDFUaaL9s 

Please note: If you are a woman and you come across this post and feel that I left something out, please feel free to leave a comment, I might of missed something.