I have so much to write but am so tired, that in the effort to stay true to my beautiful journal, I decided that tonight I am going to share some wisdom with whomever is kind enough to visit my journal to see what is on my mind today! I honestly have to admit that I really miss school. I know that, that sounds strange but today I sent someone a message and told him that I was happy that my boyfriend was Brooklyn College. I don't know, it's just that when I am not there I feel like I am wasting time doing nothing, like something is missing from my life, like not challenging my brain is just boring.
However, when I realize what's really going on in my life I have to stop and take a breath, what I mean by that is that I have to catch myself and chill out, because the reality is that I am racing to go I don't know where. Let me explain, I am not present in this moment because I'm busy worrying about graduating and the thought that I am not in class has nothing to do with me not currently learning a subject, although learning is always awesome! but my anxiety has more to do with the fact that I'm anxious to get things moving, to hurry up and finish, to get this degree already so I can apply to grad school, to finish so I can maybe volunteer my time somewhere, where I can help people, to hurry up hurry up hurry up! and then I have to STOP! and control myself, because I realize that I am doing what I have done all of my life and wish not to do ever again, I am living in the future! I am not present here and now and the sad part is that today when my oldest child turned 18 years old, I cried because I can't remember certain things that happened in his life, I couldn't remember because I was never really THERE. Yes I was there all of his life, working and taking care of him and making sure that he got all that he needed, but for the most part I was just physically there, but mentally I was in some other land, the land of future, I didn't enjoy him enough because I was always as my Philosophy teacher Mary would say, I was IN MY HEAD, in my thoughts and not in the present moment where I should be at all times! GOD I MISS GOING TO THE SCHOOL OF PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY! (insert sad smiley here) Basically what I am saying is that sometimes in life we rush things through and don't truly enjoy the things that really matter, the things that make life rewarding and awesome.
The other day one of my colleagues asked me why had I ignored him when he waved from a far. When he said this I was like OMG really? I didn't see you and he was like you were looking dead at me and in that moment when he said that I thought to myself...OMG! I'M DOING IT AGAIN! I'm living in my head, i'm not really here present in this moment! this discipline is one of the most challenging things to do. When my colleague pointed that out to me I thanked him and told him that he had just woken me up from being in my thoughts and that I was so sorry that I did not say hello. Imagine, I was so busy being in my brain that I didn't see my wonderful colleague who is always awesome to talk to, I missed out on someone giving me his smile and warm greeting, I missed out on a beautiful moment of my life. God only knows what world I was in while he was waving, I only want to be in this one, this one right now, the only one that's real. This moment!
I need to learn patience and know that all things will come when they are supposed to, I need to live day by day and enjoy each moment with my children, my colleagues, my friends my family, people who want to partake in my life. The only way to do that is by being patient and just living in the moment. Below is a wonderful thing that was sent to me from the School of Practical Philosophy, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, I go back and read things they send me to sort of put things into some sort of perspective. I want to share the below on my blog because I think that it is important that we all learn how to enjoy the wonderful things in life. Maybe reading the below will sort of help you understand where all this my rambling is coming from and it will make sense to you, because I quite honestly don't know if I am making any sense right now. Please read below and enjoy!
******************************************************
This was sent to me by the School of Practical Philosophy, I highly recommend people to go there and study with them, it's an awesome place!
http://www.philosophyworks.org/
However, when I realize what's really going on in my life I have to stop and take a breath, what I mean by that is that I have to catch myself and chill out, because the reality is that I am racing to go I don't know where. Let me explain, I am not present in this moment because I'm busy worrying about graduating and the thought that I am not in class has nothing to do with me not currently learning a subject, although learning is always awesome! but my anxiety has more to do with the fact that I'm anxious to get things moving, to hurry up and finish, to get this degree already so I can apply to grad school, to finish so I can maybe volunteer my time somewhere, where I can help people, to hurry up hurry up hurry up! and then I have to STOP! and control myself, because I realize that I am doing what I have done all of my life and wish not to do ever again, I am living in the future! I am not present here and now and the sad part is that today when my oldest child turned 18 years old, I cried because I can't remember certain things that happened in his life, I couldn't remember because I was never really THERE. Yes I was there all of his life, working and taking care of him and making sure that he got all that he needed, but for the most part I was just physically there, but mentally I was in some other land, the land of future, I didn't enjoy him enough because I was always as my Philosophy teacher Mary would say, I was IN MY HEAD, in my thoughts and not in the present moment where I should be at all times! GOD I MISS GOING TO THE SCHOOL OF PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY! (insert sad smiley here) Basically what I am saying is that sometimes in life we rush things through and don't truly enjoy the things that really matter, the things that make life rewarding and awesome.
The other day one of my colleagues asked me why had I ignored him when he waved from a far. When he said this I was like OMG really? I didn't see you and he was like you were looking dead at me and in that moment when he said that I thought to myself...OMG! I'M DOING IT AGAIN! I'm living in my head, i'm not really here present in this moment! this discipline is one of the most challenging things to do. When my colleague pointed that out to me I thanked him and told him that he had just woken me up from being in my thoughts and that I was so sorry that I did not say hello. Imagine, I was so busy being in my brain that I didn't see my wonderful colleague who is always awesome to talk to, I missed out on someone giving me his smile and warm greeting, I missed out on a beautiful moment of my life. God only knows what world I was in while he was waving, I only want to be in this one, this one right now, the only one that's real. This moment!
I need to learn patience and know that all things will come when they are supposed to, I need to live day by day and enjoy each moment with my children, my colleagues, my friends my family, people who want to partake in my life. The only way to do that is by being patient and just living in the moment. Below is a wonderful thing that was sent to me from the School of Practical Philosophy, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, I go back and read things they send me to sort of put things into some sort of perspective. I want to share the below on my blog because I think that it is important that we all learn how to enjoy the wonderful things in life. Maybe reading the below will sort of help you understand where all this my rambling is coming from and it will make sense to you, because I quite honestly don't know if I am making any sense right now. Please read below and enjoy!
******************************************************
This was sent to me by the School of Practical Philosophy, I highly recommend people to go there and study with them, it's an awesome place!
http://www.philosophyworks.org/
According to the Eastern philosophic
tradition, the quality of patience is the
first and foremost law, or dharma of
humanity. Patience is equated with
steadiness, constancy and contentedness.
The Roman writer Plautus considered
patience to be "the best remedy for every
trouble," and Saint Augustine called it
"the companion of wisdom." Even
Hamlet is warned by his mother to
"sprinkle cool patience"on his restless
mind.
We cultivate patience through good
company, self-awareness, and sincere
effort. By contrast, when we "lose it,"
we forfeit our peace of mind and fall
prey to stress and selfish desire.
|
Hi Jazzy it's me Liz. Patience is a virtue. I have learned Patience but it took some time. Thanks as always for sharing and keeping me interested. Love ya Esco n Liz muah.....
ReplyDelete