Dear Journal -
Today I had an extremely emotional day. I hate those days, but I also think that as a woman, I have the right to and should have days when I am an emotional wreck! No today I wasn't a wreck thankfully, but I was extremely emotional. Yes these emotions had to do with a situation that I encountered and no I am not going to share the details of such. But I do feel like I need to put these thoughts on here because it was a very important day for me.
I was faced with a situation that I did not know how to handle. I was confused, emotional about it but mostly I was scared. Fear, is the biggest impediment to our happiness sometimes. Due to it, we make all sorts or irrational decisions, we act out of character, we say things we don't mean, we act crazy. Well, maybe not we, but most certainly me. When I was faced with this sort of situation in the past, I immediately went into my shell and looked for my shelter.
The only thing I can tell you about my shelter sweet journal is, that my shelter is a website that I frequented for many years, there, I found some sort of help or maybe just a way out of the situation or a shell that protected me from it all. I would go there and cry and hope. Today, as in the past, I did just that, I went to that website, I looked through it and I cried. But today, something else happened, going on that site didn't feel as sheltering as before, it actually felt foreign, I felt that I did not belong on that site anymore, It did not protect me as it once did. Journal, you know which website I am referring to, it's a blog. Journal, I told you that I would not write about that blog again and I have kept my word, but tonight I have to mention it because it is relevant to todays events. You are my journal and I need to tell you that today I went on that blog and I looked through it and it felt foreign.
Then, on my way home from work, I was reading my book on the train as I often do. I was reading and all of a sudden, I saw the sign. THE SIGN! the signs that are everywhere to help guide us through life but we so often pretend not to see. Right there in black and white as I was reading, the situation I was facing was being explained and not only was the situation being explained, the answer was also there. I will not say which book it was that I was reading, but I can tell you that the book is a psychological book and self help. When I got to that part where it was talking about the same exact situation I am going through and additionally giving a solution for it, I could not believe my eyes, right there everything that I didn't know what to do about, was being told to me. It was a beautiful sign that had I not been aware of, I would of probably missed. All of a sudden, I understood what I needed to do. It felt great, but I still felt the fear.
I have decided that although I am afraid, I am also ready to take chances and although nothing is ever promised, the only thing that we can do as human beings, is to accept the fear, express it take a deep breath and proceed with caution. Being afraid is ok, letting the fear continue to hold you back is not.
I also while understanding what I was feeling and needed to do, thought about what my Philosophy teacher Mary, would always say. She would always say, that we should just let things happen and handle them when they are right in front of us. I understand now that what she means is that instead of going around and around in our heads trying to find the solution to certain situations, we should just let it be and handle it as it comes. I thought about this situation all day long and what I should do and all along, I didn't need to do anything, because the answer just came to me when it was time. The sign was there and by me identifying the sign, I was able to handle the situation the right way.
I am sure that I am not making much sense to you sweet journal, because I am in my emotional state right now and can't really get into to many details. However, I must say that I sure do miss the School of Practical Philosophy, I will go back once I am done with college. Attending those classes really opened my eyes to a whole new world that I choose to live in. I feel good right now, because all of a sudden in this moment things are making sense to me. I feel happy a bit scared but still happy.
Before I go, I want to share with you dear journal one of my favorite movie quotes....
"a woman's heart, is like a deep ocean of secrets" ~ Rose ~ TITANIC.....
Ace of Base....I saw the sign....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUZwzCxbDXA
Today I had an extremely emotional day. I hate those days, but I also think that as a woman, I have the right to and should have days when I am an emotional wreck! No today I wasn't a wreck thankfully, but I was extremely emotional. Yes these emotions had to do with a situation that I encountered and no I am not going to share the details of such. But I do feel like I need to put these thoughts on here because it was a very important day for me.
I was faced with a situation that I did not know how to handle. I was confused, emotional about it but mostly I was scared. Fear, is the biggest impediment to our happiness sometimes. Due to it, we make all sorts or irrational decisions, we act out of character, we say things we don't mean, we act crazy. Well, maybe not we, but most certainly me. When I was faced with this sort of situation in the past, I immediately went into my shell and looked for my shelter.
The only thing I can tell you about my shelter sweet journal is, that my shelter is a website that I frequented for many years, there, I found some sort of help or maybe just a way out of the situation or a shell that protected me from it all. I would go there and cry and hope. Today, as in the past, I did just that, I went to that website, I looked through it and I cried. But today, something else happened, going on that site didn't feel as sheltering as before, it actually felt foreign, I felt that I did not belong on that site anymore, It did not protect me as it once did. Journal, you know which website I am referring to, it's a blog. Journal, I told you that I would not write about that blog again and I have kept my word, but tonight I have to mention it because it is relevant to todays events. You are my journal and I need to tell you that today I went on that blog and I looked through it and it felt foreign.
Then, on my way home from work, I was reading my book on the train as I often do. I was reading and all of a sudden, I saw the sign. THE SIGN! the signs that are everywhere to help guide us through life but we so often pretend not to see. Right there in black and white as I was reading, the situation I was facing was being explained and not only was the situation being explained, the answer was also there. I will not say which book it was that I was reading, but I can tell you that the book is a psychological book and self help. When I got to that part where it was talking about the same exact situation I am going through and additionally giving a solution for it, I could not believe my eyes, right there everything that I didn't know what to do about, was being told to me. It was a beautiful sign that had I not been aware of, I would of probably missed. All of a sudden, I understood what I needed to do. It felt great, but I still felt the fear.
I have decided that although I am afraid, I am also ready to take chances and although nothing is ever promised, the only thing that we can do as human beings, is to accept the fear, express it take a deep breath and proceed with caution. Being afraid is ok, letting the fear continue to hold you back is not.
I also while understanding what I was feeling and needed to do, thought about what my Philosophy teacher Mary, would always say. She would always say, that we should just let things happen and handle them when they are right in front of us. I understand now that what she means is that instead of going around and around in our heads trying to find the solution to certain situations, we should just let it be and handle it as it comes. I thought about this situation all day long and what I should do and all along, I didn't need to do anything, because the answer just came to me when it was time. The sign was there and by me identifying the sign, I was able to handle the situation the right way.
I am sure that I am not making much sense to you sweet journal, because I am in my emotional state right now and can't really get into to many details. However, I must say that I sure do miss the School of Practical Philosophy, I will go back once I am done with college. Attending those classes really opened my eyes to a whole new world that I choose to live in. I feel good right now, because all of a sudden in this moment things are making sense to me. I feel happy a bit scared but still happy.
Before I go, I want to share with you dear journal one of my favorite movie quotes....
"a woman's heart, is like a deep ocean of secrets" ~ Rose ~ TITANIC.....
Ace of Base....I saw the sign....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUZwzCxbDXA
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