Last year, I think I learned the most valuable lessons that I should have known for many years already. At 40, three children and 2 divorces, you would think that I would have it together as far as my life is concerned.
Last year at the beginning of the year I got my tax return and because my income from the year before was fairly low and I am a single mother of three, I got a decent amount of money in my return which helped me tremendously with paying back accumulated debt from the prior year. Life is a constant struggle and when you have no choice but to live from check to check you often find yourself in really tough situations that require you use that credit card that you keep in case of emergency. As I have gotten older I have most definitely become more aware of the way I spend every penny I get. But it wasn't until this very intelligent ver financial savvy man who at one point I used to have secret conversations with, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/06/secret-conversations.html made me come up with a budget, that I didn't realize how fucked up financial I really was. When you put the numbers together and look at them, that is when you really want to cry because your life is a financial disaster or at least mine looks that way.
Regardless of that fact, I was able to put a few dollars away for a "rainy day". One day, my good friend who I truly believed to be a friend, asked me to help him because he was in a really bad financial situation and so seeing that we were very close and I trusted and believed in him, I found it in my heart to lend him some of the money I had saved for a rainy day, with full faith that my friend would come as it is said in the street "through for me when I needed him as well" after lending him the money, another friend was in a tight situation and again I felt that I could not sleep knowing that I could help this friend in time of need and not do so. I went to my bank again and with the love and kindness of my heart I took money out of it to give that person and lending hand. Finally there was a third incident, where yet another person asked for my help and there Jazzy was. Obviously, my bank balance was lower and lower, but I felt, that I had done a kind and loving act by helping these three "good friends".
The lesson -----
As time started passing I began to notice that these three individuals were not even acknowledging the fact that they owed me money. My savings account for a "rainy day" was now down to zero, and I felt that these three individuals were having brighter days and so naturally they would give to me what was rightfully mine. I'm sure by now you will have no doubt in your mind where this story is going and you are probably saying Jazz, everyone in this world with half a brain knows that you can't lend your money out.
But here is the thing, I have a huge problem saying no, because I feel happy when I can help other people. You might even say that I help others for my own selfish reasons, that of me becoming happy by helping others. I will never go around telling anyone what I have done, meaning I won't tell anyone that I lent xyz money or helped xyz with this or that, but in my mind and in my heart, I am happy and proud of myself for having done so.
So what's my lesson your wondering? Well, these so called friends became annoyed the minute I asked for my money back. One of them even told me not to worry, he would give me back my money so I could go spend it with my little "boyfriends" I'm assuming he was pissed that I didn't want to spend my money on him instead? The other "friend" had the nerve to tell me after me asking for months and months, that he couldn't because he had bought concert tickets and didn't have it.
One day I sat on my bed and cried really hard, because I was desperately low on cash for my expenses that month and didn't know what to do. I kept thinking of my "savings for a rainy day" and how due to my love for others, my kind heart and my selfish reasons, I no longer had it and really badly needed it. One of the three friends completely stopped talking to me, because he was to much of a coward to face me like a man and accept that he didn't have intentions of paying me back and because he already knew that he had exhausted all of my friendship resources and I was no longer use to him.
The other friend after numerous attempts, gave me some of it back and promised to finish paying, yet whenever I reached out to this person, I was almost afraid to ask for what's rightfully mine and also get ignored. And my third friend, well, I guess maybe one day when he feels like it and has extra money after having fun with his friends he will decide that I deserve the money back because after all, it is mine. But, who the he'll knows.
The point is, that while I was sitting on my bed crying about the fact that I had gotten suckered out of my little extra money that I had worked hard for, I had ended up being the bitch that won't stop asking me for her fucking money! "What she doesn't think I'm going to pay her back??? I'm sick of her shit!"
That night, as I sat on my bed and cried about my situation, I realized one very important lesson which was this..... BENJAMIN FRANKLIN is my only true friend. He was the only one that could get me out of my tight situation, he was the only one who at the end of the day "got me" got my back would "come through" for me.
I clearly lost three friendships due to my big mistake, and I learned the valuable lesson that is, when your friends are in trouble, maybe just being a good listener or emotionally supportive friend will probably be a better solution then going to the bank and handing them free money because they are not men enough to figure it out on their own. Yes, I have lost three "friends" who at one point I was inseparable from, but the honest truth is, that with friends like them, who needs enemies! Benjamin Franklin at the end of the day, is my only "true" friend.
BTW, if you think that I was sleeping or dating any of these individuals, I WAS NOT! they were my platonic male friends who I trusted. For a long time I cried about the fact that I missed them so much because I sincerely love them still, but I am happier without them in my life.
Be wise with your money, don't lend it out! I learned the hard way! TRUST ME!
Last year at the beginning of the year I got my tax return and because my income from the year before was fairly low and I am a single mother of three, I got a decent amount of money in my return which helped me tremendously with paying back accumulated debt from the prior year. Life is a constant struggle and when you have no choice but to live from check to check you often find yourself in really tough situations that require you use that credit card that you keep in case of emergency. As I have gotten older I have most definitely become more aware of the way I spend every penny I get. But it wasn't until this very intelligent ver financial savvy man who at one point I used to have secret conversations with, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/06/secret-conversations.html made me come up with a budget, that I didn't realize how fucked up financial I really was. When you put the numbers together and look at them, that is when you really want to cry because your life is a financial disaster or at least mine looks that way.
Regardless of that fact, I was able to put a few dollars away for a "rainy day". One day, my good friend who I truly believed to be a friend, asked me to help him because he was in a really bad financial situation and so seeing that we were very close and I trusted and believed in him, I found it in my heart to lend him some of the money I had saved for a rainy day, with full faith that my friend would come as it is said in the street "through for me when I needed him as well" after lending him the money, another friend was in a tight situation and again I felt that I could not sleep knowing that I could help this friend in time of need and not do so. I went to my bank again and with the love and kindness of my heart I took money out of it to give that person and lending hand. Finally there was a third incident, where yet another person asked for my help and there Jazzy was. Obviously, my bank balance was lower and lower, but I felt, that I had done a kind and loving act by helping these three "good friends".
The lesson -----
As time started passing I began to notice that these three individuals were not even acknowledging the fact that they owed me money. My savings account for a "rainy day" was now down to zero, and I felt that these three individuals were having brighter days and so naturally they would give to me what was rightfully mine. I'm sure by now you will have no doubt in your mind where this story is going and you are probably saying Jazz, everyone in this world with half a brain knows that you can't lend your money out.
But here is the thing, I have a huge problem saying no, because I feel happy when I can help other people. You might even say that I help others for my own selfish reasons, that of me becoming happy by helping others. I will never go around telling anyone what I have done, meaning I won't tell anyone that I lent xyz money or helped xyz with this or that, but in my mind and in my heart, I am happy and proud of myself for having done so.
So what's my lesson your wondering? Well, these so called friends became annoyed the minute I asked for my money back. One of them even told me not to worry, he would give me back my money so I could go spend it with my little "boyfriends" I'm assuming he was pissed that I didn't want to spend my money on him instead? The other "friend" had the nerve to tell me after me asking for months and months, that he couldn't because he had bought concert tickets and didn't have it.
One day I sat on my bed and cried really hard, because I was desperately low on cash for my expenses that month and didn't know what to do. I kept thinking of my "savings for a rainy day" and how due to my love for others, my kind heart and my selfish reasons, I no longer had it and really badly needed it. One of the three friends completely stopped talking to me, because he was to much of a coward to face me like a man and accept that he didn't have intentions of paying me back and because he already knew that he had exhausted all of my friendship resources and I was no longer use to him.
The other friend after numerous attempts, gave me some of it back and promised to finish paying, yet whenever I reached out to this person, I was almost afraid to ask for what's rightfully mine and also get ignored. And my third friend, well, I guess maybe one day when he feels like it and has extra money after having fun with his friends he will decide that I deserve the money back because after all, it is mine. But, who the he'll knows.
The point is, that while I was sitting on my bed crying about the fact that I had gotten suckered out of my little extra money that I had worked hard for, I had ended up being the bitch that won't stop asking me for her fucking money! "What she doesn't think I'm going to pay her back??? I'm sick of her shit!"
That night, as I sat on my bed and cried about my situation, I realized one very important lesson which was this..... BENJAMIN FRANKLIN is my only true friend. He was the only one that could get me out of my tight situation, he was the only one who at the end of the day "got me" got my back would "come through" for me.
I clearly lost three friendships due to my big mistake, and I learned the valuable lesson that is, when your friends are in trouble, maybe just being a good listener or emotionally supportive friend will probably be a better solution then going to the bank and handing them free money because they are not men enough to figure it out on their own. Yes, I have lost three "friends" who at one point I was inseparable from, but the honest truth is, that with friends like them, who needs enemies! Benjamin Franklin at the end of the day, is my only "true" friend.
BTW, if you think that I was sleeping or dating any of these individuals, I WAS NOT! they were my platonic male friends who I trusted. For a long time I cried about the fact that I missed them so much because I sincerely love them still, but I am happier without them in my life.
Be wise with your money, don't lend it out! I learned the hard way! TRUST ME!
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