Dear Journal....
As I was typing in the date I couldn't help but to notice the numbers 1-2-12 very nice numbers indeed. God I have so much and nothing to tell you, that is just weird! because all day I kept thinking about you and what my first post of 2012 would be like and now that I'm sitting on my dinning table I'm sort of stuck. At least I'm not sitting on my bed, could this be the new way of me writing? I'm moving to the table?
I guess I can sort of try to remember what I was thinking to write about on my way home from the movie theatre tonight. I went to watch the movie New Year's Eve, which I have to say wasn't the best movie in the world but it made me think of different things that often go on in one's life. There were many small plot's going on, and I can honestly say that I could relate to many of them. It was an ok movie and the message of the movie was very simple, the message was LOVE! How all we need is LOVE! the thing is that on my way to the movie theatre I kept telling my 12 year old son that as long as we love others, wether it be as in a romantic relationship or just friends and family love, but as long as we love others it's easy to know when we are doing something wrong. So I'm telling him all of this and he is obviously not paying attention and probably just vaguely paying attention to what I'm saying, but I'm thinking to myself as I'm talking to him, that I hope that if he gets one thing out of my rambling that the thing he gets is that if we love others, we will always know how to live a decent life. I always say that, love thy neighbor! I didn't even know what the plot of the movie was, I just wanted to see it because so many of my favorite characters were in it.
The movie ended and on my way home I was thinking about my New Year's Eve kiss in 1992 I think it was, that was a crazy year! I was madly and deeply in love with my oldest sons dad and I didn't have my oldest son yet, so his dad and I and all of our friends went to see the ball drop in Times Square. I remember that it was about ten of us. Just a bunch of young New York city kids with no life no direction, no anything.
I hung out with a bunch of thieves, that were all graffiti artist so they all had spray paint in their back packs and lot's of cisco! typing that word made me want to throw up! GROSS! we used to drink cisco, because it is probably the cheapest wine in the market and one that got you really grossly drunk! I don't even know if they still make it. Anyway, I was with my man and we were all drunk and him and I got into a huge fight and he was so violent when he would drink, I don't remember why we were having this huge fight but I do remember, us both being really drunk and his friend having to grab me and take me away from him so he wouldn't hit me and then us separating from each other in the midst of all the madness on 42nd. street and me just staying with (Busta) his friend who would always take care of me, he was this really tall black guy who I wish I would one day bump into, (Busta) that was his name! and Busta grabbed me and I was hugging him crying on his chest telling him how much I loved Dev and look how he treats me and the ball started coming down and as I was crying really hard and then all I remember was Dev grabbing me from behind and taking me and hugging me and kissing me and telling me Happy New Year baby I'm sooo sorry baby I love you so much! and that was that.... I always remember that! always remember that new year's kiss! we made up right at midnight, I have absolutely no idea where that man came out of, but he found me in that crowd and hugged and kissed me and said he was sorry right at midnight!
This year, I went with my two friends who are visiting from the Netherlands to Times Square to watch the ball drop. I stood in a pen I guess that's what it's called from 4pm until about 9 and then my bladder started to get the best of me. If you are lucky enough to get into one of these pens, you can't leave there because if you come out, the NYC cops won't let you back in. Now I was at the pen that was on 48th street which pretty much took up the whole block and I was ok with standing there doing nothing for all of those hours for a few reasons. One, I was with my friends and they were happy to be there, two, I got to meet a whole bunch of nice people that were from all over the country and world, I have to honestly say that I swear I felt like the only New Yorker in there which is pretty crazy.
As I stood there discussing with strangers from all over the country, how messed up the cops were for not letting us out of these stupid pens, I kept making the people I had just met laugh, by telling them that I was going to write my mayor a long letter about how wrong it was to hold people in pens without letting them pee! we kept laughing about it and then at 9pm Jazzy could not take it anymore and I told everyone I was leaving. They couldn't believe me, they kept saying that I had made it that long why not a few more hours, but all I could think of was my beer in the fridge and how I could go home and just get drunk by myself even, and just watch the ball drop and go to bed.
I said good bye to my new friends and left with plans on going home, so I go into the Sbarro's pizza to use the ladies room and the line is so long that I'm like great! I'll probably pee my pants on this line, but then it occurred to me that in my bag was a bottle of coke, that we had smuggled into the pens, with Vodka! but we had not drank it because well.... We would need to pee if we would of! so I take it out and as I'm standing on line I'm drinking the liquor and that's when my night became a BLAST!!!!
I started talking to all these pretty girls from North Carolina that were all dressed up, drunk and pissed, because they had VIP tickets to watch the ball drop from close up and the NYPD would not let them through. After I made it to the bathroom, they wanted me to leave with them but I just kept thinking that if I hung around the restaurant and killed some time I could still see the damn ball dropping, so I went and got some wine! CHEAP WINE! and now I'm drinking and talking to everyone and everyone is so happy and getting drunk as well, pretty much trying to do the same thing I'm doing and now I'm thinking! HA! NOW I KNOW THE TRICK ON HOW TO GET TO SEE THE BALL AND STILL GET WASTED WOOOO HOOOO!! so now I'm looking outside telling all the guys behind the counter to wave at my friends which are literally in the pen right outside the restaurant and I'm making signs to people standing next to them telling them to tap on their shoulders so that they can see me and the restaurant employees are also trying to get their attention and they finally look and I'm waving at them with a little bottle of cheap wine on my hand going come out of their and come in here all with hand and facial gestures. And they are standing there looking at me and laughing making gestures of "you're crazy Jazz!" It was hilarious! and now I'm flirting with the cooks and the guys that clean and I'm chatting it up with the girls at the counter and next thing I know, my two friends walk into the restaurant and now I'm really happy and we are now all drinking beer and it's already like 11:30pm and the restaurant employees start telling everyone that the restaurant is so we have to leave! but I'm still right there on Times Square woooo hooooo!!!! So we go outside and start walking just a few blocks more and we find a spot where we can see the ball and next thing I know I'm flirting with some cop telling him how he is NY's finest and he's laughing and he let's us back into one of the pens and the next thing I know, we are counting down to midnight!!! IT WAS SOOOO FREAKING AWESOME!!! I GOT TO SEE THE BALL DROP DRUNK!!!! damn that was fun!
Now everyone is hugging and wishing each other a Happy New Year and there are some guys standing next to me and they are all hugging me saying happy New Year's and that is when it happened! MY NEW YEAR'S EVE KISS! I turned to one of them we sort of said some words and next thing I knew I was locked in a kiss with him.. HIM Who???? I HAVE NO IDEA! All I know is that he was HOT and he reminded me of one of the guys from the Jersey Shore! and then my friends started walking away from me and I started running away from the Jersey Shore guy and his friends and he's walking after me like "but where are you going" and I just kept on walking almost running away because my guy friends are leaving me..... It was CRAZY!!!
I kissed a stranger on New Year's Eve. What he didn't know, was that the woman that he kissed had not kissed a man in over 4 months, he didn't know that for many months I have been doubting if I could even kiss again or how the thought of kissing sometimes made me feel nervous. He didn't know that I have pretty much given up on love and he didn't know that kissing him reminded me how much I love kissing and how badly I want to kiss again. So, my New Years started with a strangers kiss! but that stranger reminded me of what I have been missing! I hope someday he comes across my blog and is like "HOLLY SHIT! THIS IS THE STRANGE GIRL THAT I KISSED ON NEW YEAR'S EVE WHO RAN AWAY FROM ME!"
IT WAS A GREAT NEW START TO WHAT WILL DEFINITELY BE A GREAT NEW YEAR!
I wish you much LOVE!
Please enjoy this lovely song from Bon Jovi featured in the movie New Year's Eve......
Bon Jovi - Have a little faith in me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siaq1ar7E0s
As I was typing in the date I couldn't help but to notice the numbers 1-2-12 very nice numbers indeed. God I have so much and nothing to tell you, that is just weird! because all day I kept thinking about you and what my first post of 2012 would be like and now that I'm sitting on my dinning table I'm sort of stuck. At least I'm not sitting on my bed, could this be the new way of me writing? I'm moving to the table?
I guess I can sort of try to remember what I was thinking to write about on my way home from the movie theatre tonight. I went to watch the movie New Year's Eve, which I have to say wasn't the best movie in the world but it made me think of different things that often go on in one's life. There were many small plot's going on, and I can honestly say that I could relate to many of them. It was an ok movie and the message of the movie was very simple, the message was LOVE! How all we need is LOVE! the thing is that on my way to the movie theatre I kept telling my 12 year old son that as long as we love others, wether it be as in a romantic relationship or just friends and family love, but as long as we love others it's easy to know when we are doing something wrong. So I'm telling him all of this and he is obviously not paying attention and probably just vaguely paying attention to what I'm saying, but I'm thinking to myself as I'm talking to him, that I hope that if he gets one thing out of my rambling that the thing he gets is that if we love others, we will always know how to live a decent life. I always say that, love thy neighbor! I didn't even know what the plot of the movie was, I just wanted to see it because so many of my favorite characters were in it.
The movie ended and on my way home I was thinking about my New Year's Eve kiss in 1992 I think it was, that was a crazy year! I was madly and deeply in love with my oldest sons dad and I didn't have my oldest son yet, so his dad and I and all of our friends went to see the ball drop in Times Square. I remember that it was about ten of us. Just a bunch of young New York city kids with no life no direction, no anything.
I hung out with a bunch of thieves, that were all graffiti artist so they all had spray paint in their back packs and lot's of cisco! typing that word made me want to throw up! GROSS! we used to drink cisco, because it is probably the cheapest wine in the market and one that got you really grossly drunk! I don't even know if they still make it. Anyway, I was with my man and we were all drunk and him and I got into a huge fight and he was so violent when he would drink, I don't remember why we were having this huge fight but I do remember, us both being really drunk and his friend having to grab me and take me away from him so he wouldn't hit me and then us separating from each other in the midst of all the madness on 42nd. street and me just staying with (Busta) his friend who would always take care of me, he was this really tall black guy who I wish I would one day bump into, (Busta) that was his name! and Busta grabbed me and I was hugging him crying on his chest telling him how much I loved Dev and look how he treats me and the ball started coming down and as I was crying really hard and then all I remember was Dev grabbing me from behind and taking me and hugging me and kissing me and telling me Happy New Year baby I'm sooo sorry baby I love you so much! and that was that.... I always remember that! always remember that new year's kiss! we made up right at midnight, I have absolutely no idea where that man came out of, but he found me in that crowd and hugged and kissed me and said he was sorry right at midnight!
This year, I went with my two friends who are visiting from the Netherlands to Times Square to watch the ball drop. I stood in a pen I guess that's what it's called from 4pm until about 9 and then my bladder started to get the best of me. If you are lucky enough to get into one of these pens, you can't leave there because if you come out, the NYC cops won't let you back in. Now I was at the pen that was on 48th street which pretty much took up the whole block and I was ok with standing there doing nothing for all of those hours for a few reasons. One, I was with my friends and they were happy to be there, two, I got to meet a whole bunch of nice people that were from all over the country and world, I have to honestly say that I swear I felt like the only New Yorker in there which is pretty crazy.
As I stood there discussing with strangers from all over the country, how messed up the cops were for not letting us out of these stupid pens, I kept making the people I had just met laugh, by telling them that I was going to write my mayor a long letter about how wrong it was to hold people in pens without letting them pee! we kept laughing about it and then at 9pm Jazzy could not take it anymore and I told everyone I was leaving. They couldn't believe me, they kept saying that I had made it that long why not a few more hours, but all I could think of was my beer in the fridge and how I could go home and just get drunk by myself even, and just watch the ball drop and go to bed.
I said good bye to my new friends and left with plans on going home, so I go into the Sbarro's pizza to use the ladies room and the line is so long that I'm like great! I'll probably pee my pants on this line, but then it occurred to me that in my bag was a bottle of coke, that we had smuggled into the pens, with Vodka! but we had not drank it because well.... We would need to pee if we would of! so I take it out and as I'm standing on line I'm drinking the liquor and that's when my night became a BLAST!!!!
I started talking to all these pretty girls from North Carolina that were all dressed up, drunk and pissed, because they had VIP tickets to watch the ball drop from close up and the NYPD would not let them through. After I made it to the bathroom, they wanted me to leave with them but I just kept thinking that if I hung around the restaurant and killed some time I could still see the damn ball dropping, so I went and got some wine! CHEAP WINE! and now I'm drinking and talking to everyone and everyone is so happy and getting drunk as well, pretty much trying to do the same thing I'm doing and now I'm thinking! HA! NOW I KNOW THE TRICK ON HOW TO GET TO SEE THE BALL AND STILL GET WASTED WOOOO HOOOO!! so now I'm looking outside telling all the guys behind the counter to wave at my friends which are literally in the pen right outside the restaurant and I'm making signs to people standing next to them telling them to tap on their shoulders so that they can see me and the restaurant employees are also trying to get their attention and they finally look and I'm waving at them with a little bottle of cheap wine on my hand going come out of their and come in here all with hand and facial gestures. And they are standing there looking at me and laughing making gestures of "you're crazy Jazz!" It was hilarious! and now I'm flirting with the cooks and the guys that clean and I'm chatting it up with the girls at the counter and next thing I know, my two friends walk into the restaurant and now I'm really happy and we are now all drinking beer and it's already like 11:30pm and the restaurant employees start telling everyone that the restaurant is so we have to leave! but I'm still right there on Times Square woooo hooooo!!!! So we go outside and start walking just a few blocks more and we find a spot where we can see the ball and next thing I know I'm flirting with some cop telling him how he is NY's finest and he's laughing and he let's us back into one of the pens and the next thing I know, we are counting down to midnight!!! IT WAS SOOOO FREAKING AWESOME!!! I GOT TO SEE THE BALL DROP DRUNK!!!! damn that was fun!
Now everyone is hugging and wishing each other a Happy New Year and there are some guys standing next to me and they are all hugging me saying happy New Year's and that is when it happened! MY NEW YEAR'S EVE KISS! I turned to one of them we sort of said some words and next thing I knew I was locked in a kiss with him.. HIM Who???? I HAVE NO IDEA! All I know is that he was HOT and he reminded me of one of the guys from the Jersey Shore! and then my friends started walking away from me and I started running away from the Jersey Shore guy and his friends and he's walking after me like "but where are you going" and I just kept on walking almost running away because my guy friends are leaving me..... It was CRAZY!!!
I kissed a stranger on New Year's Eve. What he didn't know, was that the woman that he kissed had not kissed a man in over 4 months, he didn't know that for many months I have been doubting if I could even kiss again or how the thought of kissing sometimes made me feel nervous. He didn't know that I have pretty much given up on love and he didn't know that kissing him reminded me how much I love kissing and how badly I want to kiss again. So, my New Years started with a strangers kiss! but that stranger reminded me of what I have been missing! I hope someday he comes across my blog and is like "HOLLY SHIT! THIS IS THE STRANGE GIRL THAT I KISSED ON NEW YEAR'S EVE WHO RAN AWAY FROM ME!"
IT WAS A GREAT NEW START TO WHAT WILL DEFINITELY BE A GREAT NEW YEAR!
I wish you much LOVE!
Please enjoy this lovely song from Bon Jovi featured in the movie New Year's Eve......
Bon Jovi - Have a little faith in me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siaq1ar7E0s
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