Dear Journal:
As the train rolled out of the station going south instead of north, I held my Psychology book really tight pressed against my chest and I cried with deep sadness. I was wearing my sunglasses and I knew that even though that train was filled with people, no one would notice the spanish woman that was standing by the door, was crying with deep grief.
I had made a decision a few months ago, that I had to choose between loving myself or loving someone else. For the very first time in my entire life, I chose me. I know that I have to love myself first if I can ever love someone else and so today, as that train went south, and I cried, I knew that I was doing the best thing I had ever done in my life for myself.
I could of sat there in the same place with him for 2 hours and admired his beauty and listened to him tell everyone how he read in a book about xyz, but instead, I chose to go to my Psychology class and learn about that which will one day take me to the place in life that I want to be. There I sat listening to my college professor instead, talking about statistical data and how it relates to Psychology. My wonderful professor who I truly admire and who's words inspire me each time I'm there. Him, my professor looks a bit like Einstein and he is funny and absolutely brilliant! I sat there and at one point realized that "life, is just as it should be" and that if you love someone you have to let them go.
I know now dear journal, that a few months ago when I was faced with the difficult decision of either going back to that class that I also enjoy and love tremendously, but where I would see someone that does not want anything to do with me, or not go and unfortunately have to miss a wonderful class. That I made the right choice by taking the train south and sitting in my Psychology class and learning and growing and following my dream.
My heart will always say YES! but there are times in life that you cannot under any circumstances listen to your heart and you have to pay attention to your mind, my mind said NO!
This too shall pass, ONE DAY! I know it will!
Lifehouse whaever it takes..... YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF IF YOU CAN EVER LOVE ME....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0ERtpogPTs
As the train rolled out of the station going south instead of north, I held my Psychology book really tight pressed against my chest and I cried with deep sadness. I was wearing my sunglasses and I knew that even though that train was filled with people, no one would notice the spanish woman that was standing by the door, was crying with deep grief.
I had made a decision a few months ago, that I had to choose between loving myself or loving someone else. For the very first time in my entire life, I chose me. I know that I have to love myself first if I can ever love someone else and so today, as that train went south, and I cried, I knew that I was doing the best thing I had ever done in my life for myself.
I could of sat there in the same place with him for 2 hours and admired his beauty and listened to him tell everyone how he read in a book about xyz, but instead, I chose to go to my Psychology class and learn about that which will one day take me to the place in life that I want to be. There I sat listening to my college professor instead, talking about statistical data and how it relates to Psychology. My wonderful professor who I truly admire and who's words inspire me each time I'm there. Him, my professor looks a bit like Einstein and he is funny and absolutely brilliant! I sat there and at one point realized that "life, is just as it should be" and that if you love someone you have to let them go.
I know now dear journal, that a few months ago when I was faced with the difficult decision of either going back to that class that I also enjoy and love tremendously, but where I would see someone that does not want anything to do with me, or not go and unfortunately have to miss a wonderful class. That I made the right choice by taking the train south and sitting in my Psychology class and learning and growing and following my dream.
My heart will always say YES! but there are times in life that you cannot under any circumstances listen to your heart and you have to pay attention to your mind, my mind said NO!
This too shall pass, ONE DAY! I know it will!
Lifehouse whaever it takes..... YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF IF YOU CAN EVER LOVE ME....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0ERtpogPTs
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