Friday, March 15, 2013

Dear Journal - 3-15-13



Dear Journal:

I sure do hope you have not been feeling neglected! I do not mean to be distant, but Jazzy is really busy lately, I’m exhausted! Nothing to exciting to report I’m afraid, life has been pretty simple and I have to say I really like it this way.  For my life to be simple, all I need to do is stay away from the opposite distracting sex! If they are not in my life, life is pretty simple, although I do still talk to people on dating sites here and there, I keep it on the sites, I don’t like to give out my number to too many people as half of NYC and part of the United States already has my phone number since I have had it for so many years.  Randomly, I will get messages from men I have not spoken to in literally years and when that happens, I always send them a message saying something like…. Let me guess? Lonely? Desperate? Going through heart ache and looking for a distraction? Why are you contacting me? 

I know that saying things like that is probably not very nice, but I am honest, I know how people operate, and if you and I had some sort of romantic situation and we stopped talking and both agreed to it and didn’t stay friends, why else would you be contacting me? Sometimes though, depending on who it is, I will be really nice and talk to them, because not all my romantic somethings end up bad, actually, my very short lived romantic somethings end up in a whatever sort of way, and most often they end up in a cool way.  Still, my favorite is when it’s someone I already told I did not have any interest in because they did something to piss off and I completely forget about it and then they contact me three years later asking me out or something.  Dude, if I didn’t like you three years ago, what in the world would make you think that I would like you now?  I honestly sometimes think men are really not well mentally! But well, we all know that I AM THE CRAZY ONE!

In other Jazzy news, I have to write a 7 page short story by Monday and although I do know what I am going to write about, I still don’t have it all together in my head, I’m feeling a bit anxious about this assignment because although I love to write, I have never written a fiction short story, so although I think I’m pretty creative, I don’t know how well I will do with fiction, but I shall try! The one thing I really like is that I get to make stuff up and I never do that, so I can really let my imagination run wild.  I was having trouble coming up with characters, and then the other day I was on the train and saw this really really beautiful woman and I took out my phone and created her into one of my characters, I kept staring at her as I was writing because I was describing her, she reminded me so much of one of Leonardo DaVinci’s angel paintings.  I kept hoping she didn’t catch me staring, but I do love to admire beauty, male or female, children, grandparents, animals, I just see beauty all around me all the time! because I try to stay present and in the moment.
 
I nearly booked my trip yesterday for May, I cannot wait to go away! Jazzy is extremely exhausted! I will be going away at the end of May and I am going to do nothing but chillax! I AM SOOOO EXCITED! Can’t wait to go hiking! I am also looking forward to spending time with new friendsI have been meeting a lot of new people that are really really nice, I feel as though life is putting in my path some really amazing characters, people that show me true genuine kindness and friendship, this makes me feel happy, because I always try to be genuine myself and the few people that I am building new friendships with, seem genuineI do believe that there are many many amazing people in this world and that if we give each and every person that crosses our path a fair chance, without judging them or looking to our own past experiences to access who they may be, then we not only give them a fair chance, we give ourselves a fair chance as well.  

I fully understand why we as humans find it necessary to look to the past to access new people that we encounter, I studied this in my Social Psychology class http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/02/psychology-behind-our-judgements.html however, that is not the best practice, when we judge, we are putting everyone in the same category and there are no two people alike in this world, each person is his or her own individual and therefore, they should be treated as such! I know that this is easier said than done, but I made a promise to myself that I would never judge books by their covers and although I have to constantly remind myself to check myself to see if I am judging, I think that this new approach is really awesome, because each and every person I meet, is a brand new person I don’t know and I give myself and them, the opportunity to be who they truly are, if someone isn’t genuine and true, eventually, it all comes out, that I know for sure.  And, this applies to men and women, I am not talking about romance, I am talking about people in general.

Other than that, what else can I say??? No sex, no drugs, no liquor, no life! GOODNESS! WHEN DID I BECOME A BORING OLD WOMAN???

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