Ojos que no ven, siego Hijo de Pueta (HP) = Eyes that do not see, blind mother fucker!
Amor de lejos felices los cuatro = Love from a far, happy the four of you
Eyes that do not see, blind mother fucker. This cliche was one of my friend Darwin's favorite (may his soul rest in peace) he used to say this to me, and we would laugh really really hard about it. Darwin, would tell me this, when talking to me about my ex husband who I had a long distance relationship with for many, many years. When he would say this to me, I would always laugh and then while laughing say "your so fucked up."
When I think of long distance romances I cannot help but to get that feeling of UGH! like, I don't understand why people bother? Yet sometimes in life people are put in our paths and they are just so awesome, that even if they live far from you, you just can't help it but to consider the possibility that the two phrases above, do not have to be so.
Last weekend, my homework assignment for Gotham's writer's workshop, was to think of different cliche's and write them down. The purpose of this, was to keep as many of them as possible in mind, so that when writing we DO NOT USE THEM. When the teacher told us this, I was so bummed, because that's all I ever do. For some reason, although I usually have a terrible memory about things, I often remember cliche's and quotes.
Being the good girl and student that I am, through out last week, I kept thinking about different cliche's so that I could write them down. When I started thinking about them, that's when I began to think about the two above. After I thought about them, I started to think that they were actually really kind of sad because why can't two people that live far from each other, care about one another?
To me, any kind of romantic relationship takes a bit of work, when I say work I don't mean that you have to sit around and think about it and for it to actually feel like you are performing a task. I feel as though if you are in a committed relationship and it feels like work, then your probably not too happy in that relationship. When one is happy in a relationship, then the "work" you put into that relationship just comes naturally. Or at least, that is what I remember of it, because I have not been in a serious relationship in almost four years. I do speak from my own experience however, that when I was in a relationship and it began to feel like "work" that's when it felt like I wasn't really happy in it and problems began to seem to get bigger no matter how small they really were.
In my opinion, trust is probably one of the biggest and most important things in order for any kind of relationship to work. But trust becomes even more important, in long distance situations. If you don't trust the person you care about, from that usually stems a whole lot of other issues that sort of make trusting feel like "work." I was thinking of trust and I came up with the following:
Strong relationships, regardless of the nature of them, ie. working, friendship or romantic, must be built on trust and trust takes time to develop.
Trust is something that you have to apply in all sorts of relationships. Bosses have to trust their employees, friends have to trust each other and couples have to have trust in one another in order for a relationship to feel secure. I cannot imagine myself letting myself fall backward with my eyes closed, into someone's arms that I do not trust. It is really difficult for me to trust people. Yet I think that it is only fair to always have the mentality to "give someone the benefit of the doubt" cliche I shouldn't be using, because that is the only way, to start to build something. Trust takes time, it isn't something that you get or give right away. It's only in getting to know a person whether it be at work or in friendships or in love, that you can truly begin to build this very important foundation for successful relationships.
When it comes to my two cliche's above, about long distance love and what it means to me. I have to say again that sometimes some people are just so awesome, it doesn't seem fair to live by those two rules or follow those two cliche's. In limiting yourself to cliche's like those, you are almost closing the door to something that may otherwise turn into something wonderful.
As much as I use cliche's I also always think of the opposite of them because the reality is, that each and every case that a cliche falls under has and opposite point to it. In other words your "damned if you do, damned if you don't" Anyone who know's me, know's that "I don't live by the rules." I like to give myself the opportunity to experience and accept the things that are put in my path because I am a strong believer that "everything happens for a reason."
I hope my teacher from Gotham's writers workshop, never reads this blog post. I'm pretty sure, he will not be very happy. But damn I sure love me some good old cliche's! Because we all know that at the end of the day "actions speak louder then words."
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