“What most people need to learn in
life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things.” ~ Anonymous
Dear Journal:
I wish so bad I could tell you how much
fun I’m having and how exciting my life has been lately, but I’m afraid to say
that the most fun I have had in the last few days, was laughing so hard in one
of my classes when my professor gave us a handout that had a list of “God’s
rules” (this is for my Jewish Diaspora class, which is awesome). One of the rules is, that it is a sin to
engage in sexual activity if you are not married. When I read that, I laughed because I figured
we are all going to hell! OH DAMN! That sucks!
Other than that, I am currently on my
usual fall routine, which gets tiring and boring real fast. Work, school, kids! work, school, kids! and more
work, school, kids! My birthday is in a few weeks and I am really bummed
because I usually go away for my birthday and this year I cannot, and that just
plain sucks! Sometimes, I think about getting a “sugar daddy” YES a “sugar
daddy!” I know for a fact that if I really wanted to, I probably could, it’s pretty
easy for a woman to do stuff like that, at least I think so. All it would take is probably a Craig list
ad and I’m sure that pretty much any woman could find one. Sometimes I honestly get so sad about the
fact that there are some seriously lonely people in NYC, like honestly! being on
dating sites, I am constantly amazed at how many lonely men there are in this
world! It’s crazy!
However, although I may talk the talk
and walk the walk, I probably wouldn’t be able to go through with it. I could NEVER, use someone for their
money. I think that is a pretty crummy
thing to do. Additionally, I can’t
imagine having a sexual relationship with someone I am not attracted to. I am not judging, but I don’t know how some
women do it. That takes a hell of a lot
of balls!
When I think of a “sugar daddy” a story
comes to my mind. This happened to me
about three years ago on a flight from NY to Colombia. So I get on the plane and I sit down and have
my headphones on, and in comes this man who I would say was in maybe his mid to
late 50’s, decent looking man for his age.
It so happens, that he is assigned the seat next to mine and the minute
I saw the way he looked at me when he saw he was sitting next to me, I thought
to myself, OH MY GOD! this is going to be a LONG ride! For starters, men from
my country in general are natural flirts and I have to admit they do have a certain
“swag” (I’m not sure what “swag” means, but my teenage son uses the word so I
think it means cool) about them. Latin
men in general in my opinion just have this certain I don’t know, spice about
them, they just know how to tell a woman all the things they want to hear, but
that’s EXACTLY the problem, they tell you what they think you want to hear and
in my case, I honestly don’t want to hear shit! I’m being real, I don’t want to
hear anything you have to say unless you’re being genuine, I hate all that game
talk, it’s such a waste of my time.
However, because I am not rude and he greeted me very nicely, I decided that I would not
judge him based on all the rest of the Colombian men in this world and I would
be pleasant. WELL! the next thing I knew, he was buying me drinks
on the plane, we were laughing and carrying on and we were talking about all
his business trip adventures! THIS MAN HAD SWAG! He told me about his trips to Europe, Asia,
Africa and I could tell it wasn’t BS, like he was really educated, not
Sleazy. He wasn’t “rich” I don’t think,
but he was definitely comfortable. I
cannot deny, that my mind started racing! I kept thinking OH MY GOD! I would
totally let him be my “sugar daddy” and then I would tell myself OH MY GOD! I
can’t believe I’m thinking this! And then again I would be like OH MY GOD! this
would be such an awesome experience! But again I would think! OH MY GOD! this
is soooo not me! For the majority of the plane ride, those are the thoughts
that kept going on in my mind, because the truth is, that although he wasn’t a
horrible looking man, he definitely wasn’t someone I would want to roll around
a bed (aka have sex with) however, the fact that he was very educated and had money,
automatically made him look better! And I know that is a terrible thing to
think, but well I was thinking that, and I was and still am struggling financially, so, if
someone wanted to take care of me, then why not? Hey, this after all is my mind and well, I do
have a very active imagination…. SOOOO…
After talking to him for the whole flight,
we were finally about to get to the capital of Colombia (Bogota) which was his
final destination (I had another flight to catch) so he tells me that he was
staying there, but that he would buy me a plane ticket so that I could come
back sometime that week and see him and we could hang out. But then, in addition to that, he also said……..
“I am only staying here for the week, because after that I am meeting my WIFE
in Japan” In that moment I was like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! (in my head) and I’m
sure I made a face like HUH? and all I could think of was…… YOU MUST REALLY
THINK I’M DESPERATE! In addition to me thinking WHAT THE FUCK! automatically, my little fairy tale “sugar
daddy “ situation, came crumbling down right before my eyes. There in that plane, on that trip, I played
out a whole story in my mind, one, that was NEVER going to happen.
By this point, he already had my phone
number, so I just smiled politely, knowing in my mind, that I would NEVER EVER
get involved with a married man. I have
very strong, strict rules about that. To
each his own, but me personally, I just can’t do that, I can’t be the mistress…
Jazzy does not roll like that! So I politely smiled and pretended that my
little fantasy hadn’t just come crashing down and I was like OH COOL! because I
honestly did not know what the hell else to say. The plane finally landed and we said our
goodbyes! My “sugar daddy” dream, walked out of my life as fast as it had
walked in!
That night I finally got home to my
grandma’s house and told her about my adventure, we all (my cousins were there
also) laughed so hard and they made fun of my “future exotic trips” I did not
get my “sugar daddy” but I sure had fun having imaginary adventures with him,
it was hilarious! I got a call from him a few days later and I told my mom to
please tell him that I was with “my boyfriend” the non-existent “boyfriend” I
had thought of so that he would stop calling me. Sometimes in life, it’s better to keep our
two feet on the ground, then to allow our necessities to put us in situations
that we may end up loosing control over.
I think I did the right thing.
Maybe I didn’t get myself a “sugar daddy” on that flight, but I sure got
myself a good laugh and a good story……
The End.
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