Dear Journal:
My FAVORITE time of year is upon us! FALL! oh how I LOVE THEE! I get so excited about taking out my sweaters and sweat pants and sweat shirts and all my boots! I LOVE it! I am feeling pretty happy because I already started my fall semester and I must say I am really enjoying my classes. It's focus time again and all the summer fun is over! NO MORE BOYS for Jazzy! yeah, it sucks, but to be honest this past summer, I did a lot of casual dating, met some really cool guys and had a whole lot of fun! I have to say though, that out of all the casual dating that I did, the very best thing that happened to me, was meeting my D.B.S! with his HOT looks and sexy lips! Woo Hoo!
I have to tell you, that meeting him was absolutely awesome and no lie, if he were older, I would be pulling all the moves to make him my man! I would probably even COOK! OH MY! Ha! seriously though, he and I met on a site called Skout and when he sent me a message and I saw his picture and thought to myself that he looked like a guy out of some magazine cover, I nearly looked behind me and pointed at myself like who me? yes, I now LOVE him! we went to the beach on I guess a date? but laying there in the sand catching some rays and just talking about every single subject imaginable, I think we both quickly realized, that we were not destined for romance, but rather our paths had crossed for something deeper and way more meaningful!
We realized that the reason why our paths had crossed, was to build a platonic friendship, where we could talk to each other about anything and everything! I LOVE him! He is so awesome! I never have to worry about anything I want to tell him, he is always ready to listen and talk to me and tell me everything will be ok! he in turn, always looks for me, to tell me about all his worries, fears, and of course love life. I have to say, that maybe another summer has come and gone, another as I like to call it "dating season" has passed for me, and yes maybe I didn't find love, but at least I stay in the game and am not letting myself become one of those women that like give up on dating and love because they had a bad experience. I also feel that I need to socialize and go out and interact with the opposite sex as it is healthy. I am not bitter about love in any way shape or form, I am just not rushing it either, I am doing the things I need to do for myself and in the process, when I have some free time, I socialize accordingly. So, no, I didn't find love, but I found yet another wonderful man to include in my close circle of close male friends!
I am always seriously in awe, of how really young men these days, handle themselves and think! how come they weren't like that when I was younger? or is it that I just didn't get them? my D.B.S. is 21 years OLD and I mean OLD because he seriously thinks and acts like an old man! and yes, we hung out and it was supposed to be romantic, and YES I AM a Cougar! but, I used to be ashamed of myself for dating younger men. But I am not anymore, what am I supposed to do if that is what I attract? so, I work with what is put in front of me. I refuse to stop my life, and hide from the world of dating, because the men in my age group don't approach me, hey, I am not looking for marriage! THANK GOD! Additionally, I refuse to go out with the one or two men in my age group that might approach me, just to go out with them, when I don't even like or feel attracted to them, HELL NO! I am not out to make others happy, by doing what is viewed as "right" in society, I was never one to care about what people thought about me as a young woman, so I will be damned if I start worrying about others opinion of me now.
Dealing with a younger man, you go in knowing that they are exploring the world, they are learning and growing. I never have expectations of them and with them it's always fun, no pressure. Older more "mature" men, pretend to have it together, and sadly enough, they are usually confused and all over the place. Yes, I am confused to, but at least I admit and accept it. I don't know what I want, because for a woman to know what she wants, the man has to sort of make her want her want him. Like, if a man knows what he wants, he usually guides the situation, so if some great awesome man came into my life and guided me in the right direction, who knows, I might give up all my dating and fun. I don't know, getting involved seriously with people in my opinion, is just something that sort of happens, you can't really plan it. Like when I was talking to my AJ who I miss so badly, I just sort of automatically started feeling a sense of loyalty and belonging to him, I wanted to be with him and only him. Things didn't work out, but it was natural with he and I, it felt so right. I miss him! I don't know journal, I think that my "one" is going to end up being some young hotty that's going to know exactly what he wants and what he is going to know he wants is well.... ME!
Anyway, summer is over, dating game is over, time to focus on some serious school work! by the way, my Saturday professor is kind of cute! I love it, I'm glad my classmate from last semester isn't in the same class with me this semester, he kept telling me that I should ask my professor out, he kept trying to encourage me, because he said he could tell that the professor looked at me a certain way. Now, I am not going to deny that my professor was a straight up HOT intelligent man, probably in his mid to late 30's with salt and pepper hair, but just because I think someone is HOT, it doesn't mean I like them. There is a difference between liking someone and thinking they are handsome, I think a whole lot of men are handsome, that just means I like looking at them, it doesn't mean I want to kiss them, I'm weird what can I say! anyway, if my ex class mate would of been with me in my Saturday class, I can just imagine him telling me to ask my professor out. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I refuse to ask a man out, for me to do that, I don't know, it would take a whole lot.
I sometimes feel that my friends are more concerned about the fact that I am single, then I am. People don't seem to realize that I have goals and things that I am doing, that are way more important than love. Do I get lonely? of course I do, but when I do, I ask one of my friends about their relationship and when they start complaining, I remember why I am sooooo glad I'm single! DRAMA! WHO NEEDS IT! the biggest dilemma in my life right now, is having to write this paper for my Jewish Diaspora class. Now that is the sort of drama I am ok with!
Anywho, that's pretty much it for me these days! life is good and I am not complaining about the fact that my professor is a hottie! there is nothing like some good old eye candy to keep you awake in a Saturday morning class! woo hoo! thank you Brooklyn College for hiring some HOT professors! I'm sooo very lucky!
My FAVORITE time of year is upon us! FALL! oh how I LOVE THEE! I get so excited about taking out my sweaters and sweat pants and sweat shirts and all my boots! I LOVE it! I am feeling pretty happy because I already started my fall semester and I must say I am really enjoying my classes. It's focus time again and all the summer fun is over! NO MORE BOYS for Jazzy! yeah, it sucks, but to be honest this past summer, I did a lot of casual dating, met some really cool guys and had a whole lot of fun! I have to say though, that out of all the casual dating that I did, the very best thing that happened to me, was meeting my D.B.S! with his HOT looks and sexy lips! Woo Hoo!
I have to tell you, that meeting him was absolutely awesome and no lie, if he were older, I would be pulling all the moves to make him my man! I would probably even COOK! OH MY! Ha! seriously though, he and I met on a site called Skout and when he sent me a message and I saw his picture and thought to myself that he looked like a guy out of some magazine cover, I nearly looked behind me and pointed at myself like who me? yes, I now LOVE him! we went to the beach on I guess a date? but laying there in the sand catching some rays and just talking about every single subject imaginable, I think we both quickly realized, that we were not destined for romance, but rather our paths had crossed for something deeper and way more meaningful!
We realized that the reason why our paths had crossed, was to build a platonic friendship, where we could talk to each other about anything and everything! I LOVE him! He is so awesome! I never have to worry about anything I want to tell him, he is always ready to listen and talk to me and tell me everything will be ok! he in turn, always looks for me, to tell me about all his worries, fears, and of course love life. I have to say, that maybe another summer has come and gone, another as I like to call it "dating season" has passed for me, and yes maybe I didn't find love, but at least I stay in the game and am not letting myself become one of those women that like give up on dating and love because they had a bad experience. I also feel that I need to socialize and go out and interact with the opposite sex as it is healthy. I am not bitter about love in any way shape or form, I am just not rushing it either, I am doing the things I need to do for myself and in the process, when I have some free time, I socialize accordingly. So, no, I didn't find love, but I found yet another wonderful man to include in my close circle of close male friends!
I am always seriously in awe, of how really young men these days, handle themselves and think! how come they weren't like that when I was younger? or is it that I just didn't get them? my D.B.S. is 21 years OLD and I mean OLD because he seriously thinks and acts like an old man! and yes, we hung out and it was supposed to be romantic, and YES I AM a Cougar! but, I used to be ashamed of myself for dating younger men. But I am not anymore, what am I supposed to do if that is what I attract? so, I work with what is put in front of me. I refuse to stop my life, and hide from the world of dating, because the men in my age group don't approach me, hey, I am not looking for marriage! THANK GOD! Additionally, I refuse to go out with the one or two men in my age group that might approach me, just to go out with them, when I don't even like or feel attracted to them, HELL NO! I am not out to make others happy, by doing what is viewed as "right" in society, I was never one to care about what people thought about me as a young woman, so I will be damned if I start worrying about others opinion of me now.
Dealing with a younger man, you go in knowing that they are exploring the world, they are learning and growing. I never have expectations of them and with them it's always fun, no pressure. Older more "mature" men, pretend to have it together, and sadly enough, they are usually confused and all over the place. Yes, I am confused to, but at least I admit and accept it. I don't know what I want, because for a woman to know what she wants, the man has to sort of make her want her want him. Like, if a man knows what he wants, he usually guides the situation, so if some great awesome man came into my life and guided me in the right direction, who knows, I might give up all my dating and fun. I don't know, getting involved seriously with people in my opinion, is just something that sort of happens, you can't really plan it. Like when I was talking to my AJ who I miss so badly, I just sort of automatically started feeling a sense of loyalty and belonging to him, I wanted to be with him and only him. Things didn't work out, but it was natural with he and I, it felt so right. I miss him! I don't know journal, I think that my "one" is going to end up being some young hotty that's going to know exactly what he wants and what he is going to know he wants is well.... ME!
Anyway, summer is over, dating game is over, time to focus on some serious school work! by the way, my Saturday professor is kind of cute! I love it, I'm glad my classmate from last semester isn't in the same class with me this semester, he kept telling me that I should ask my professor out, he kept trying to encourage me, because he said he could tell that the professor looked at me a certain way. Now, I am not going to deny that my professor was a straight up HOT intelligent man, probably in his mid to late 30's with salt and pepper hair, but just because I think someone is HOT, it doesn't mean I like them. There is a difference between liking someone and thinking they are handsome, I think a whole lot of men are handsome, that just means I like looking at them, it doesn't mean I want to kiss them, I'm weird what can I say! anyway, if my ex class mate would of been with me in my Saturday class, I can just imagine him telling me to ask my professor out. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I refuse to ask a man out, for me to do that, I don't know, it would take a whole lot.
I sometimes feel that my friends are more concerned about the fact that I am single, then I am. People don't seem to realize that I have goals and things that I am doing, that are way more important than love. Do I get lonely? of course I do, but when I do, I ask one of my friends about their relationship and when they start complaining, I remember why I am sooooo glad I'm single! DRAMA! WHO NEEDS IT! the biggest dilemma in my life right now, is having to write this paper for my Jewish Diaspora class. Now that is the sort of drama I am ok with!
Anywho, that's pretty much it for me these days! life is good and I am not complaining about the fact that my professor is a hottie! there is nothing like some good old eye candy to keep you awake in a Saturday morning class! woo hoo! thank you Brooklyn College for hiring some HOT professors! I'm sooo very lucky!
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