Dear Journal:
Every single time I see him, I think to myself....... you asshole! but sometimes I feel like we say something to one another the moment our eyes meet and therefore, we avoid eye contact at all cost. Can it be that there were so many things that were never said, so many feelings never revealed, so many thoughts never expressed? we sat across each other at a table and he could barely talk to me, he could barely even look at me as if I was the one that had done something wrong.
I never did anything but be myself, but he did help me so much, I know he wanted to and I know that if he could have, he would of given me the world I just know he would of, except in his world, I did not fit. I inspired him though and that made me feel happy, I inspired someone who is intelligent and driven that makes me feel pretty good.
While we were sitting in front of each other, someone spoke about a foreign land, one that is beautiful and magical, when the person mentioned that beautiful place I immediately said...Oh wow! I would do anything to go there for even just one day. In that moment, because he like no one else knows the truth about me, about my financial situation, in that moment he looked into my eyes and I could almost hear his thoughts and his thoughts said.... I CAN TAKE YOU THERE! then why didn't you?
I know what I can give, I know who I am, I know the heart that I have and so does he. I know that I can make a man happy, why didn't he allow me that opportunity? and why did he get mad at me as if I was the one that did something wrong? How is it my fault that he didn't know how to handle a simple situation? and why is money so important to some people? yes, he has money, probably lots of it, but what good does it do him to have that and not have that which his heart truly desires? what is he telling me with his eyes that he can not express with words? why do I feel like everyone is always so afraid? you don't know what life has to offer you, unless you try, unless you give up fear. Regrets, nothing but regrets, but never for me because I'm not afraid, not anymore.
In this post I am referring to a man I once had secret conversations with...... http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/09/dear-journal-9-20-11-secret.html
Every single time I see him, I think to myself....... you asshole! but sometimes I feel like we say something to one another the moment our eyes meet and therefore, we avoid eye contact at all cost. Can it be that there were so many things that were never said, so many feelings never revealed, so many thoughts never expressed? we sat across each other at a table and he could barely talk to me, he could barely even look at me as if I was the one that had done something wrong.
I never did anything but be myself, but he did help me so much, I know he wanted to and I know that if he could have, he would of given me the world I just know he would of, except in his world, I did not fit. I inspired him though and that made me feel happy, I inspired someone who is intelligent and driven that makes me feel pretty good.
While we were sitting in front of each other, someone spoke about a foreign land, one that is beautiful and magical, when the person mentioned that beautiful place I immediately said...Oh wow! I would do anything to go there for even just one day. In that moment, because he like no one else knows the truth about me, about my financial situation, in that moment he looked into my eyes and I could almost hear his thoughts and his thoughts said.... I CAN TAKE YOU THERE! then why didn't you?
I know what I can give, I know who I am, I know the heart that I have and so does he. I know that I can make a man happy, why didn't he allow me that opportunity? and why did he get mad at me as if I was the one that did something wrong? How is it my fault that he didn't know how to handle a simple situation? and why is money so important to some people? yes, he has money, probably lots of it, but what good does it do him to have that and not have that which his heart truly desires? what is he telling me with his eyes that he can not express with words? why do I feel like everyone is always so afraid? you don't know what life has to offer you, unless you try, unless you give up fear. Regrets, nothing but regrets, but never for me because I'm not afraid, not anymore.
In this post I am referring to a man I once had secret conversations with...... http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/09/dear-journal-9-20-11-secret.html
No comments:
Post a Comment