EXORDIUM ~ The beginning of anything.....
Dear Journal:
Today is the exordium of 2013..... WOOOOO HOOOO!!!! I sure hope that I used the word exordium correctly in that previous sentence. But Jazzy is truly happy today because my day began really well. I spent my evening of New Years eve at home with my children and after midnight I went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I kept wishing for only one thing and that was to hear from someone who I really miss, then the word exordium popped up on my iphone as my dictionary word of the day and when it did, I decided that I wanted to share the word with a few of my friends, so I sent it to them and some responded others didn't however, additionally to sending it to my friends, I sent it to the only person that I truly truly truly wanted to hear from and the next thing I know, he wrote me back! YAY!!!! I spoke to my love! it was short but it was sweet and he told me something that I shouldn't be happy about but I kind of am because I know that the connection he and I share is so deep, that it's really hard to explain it, but it really truly is.
I have known him now for over a year and although I have never set eyes on him, it is so strange that I can almost sense when something is not right in his life, I sometimes write things that I know that people won't understand because it's hard to believe certain phenomena, but I do believe that we humans have powers that we don't know about because we just don't believe. I kept feeling that something was not right with him, I sensed it and I usually try to control my thoughts about him because I don't want to spend to much time thinking of someone that is far away and that I barely talk to, but I can't help how I feel about him, I can't help that he is the one person that I truly want to be with but the distance separates us. But I believe in us, I believe in him and I because we have a strong connection and those are the sorts of connections that you don't find everyday. Sometimes I truly believe that people are unhappy because we often as humans don't believe in ourselves, we don't believe in God, we don't believe in the power, we don't believe in magic, we don't believe in love, we don't believe in people. If we don't believe, then how can we manifest that which we truly desire?
I have changed so much in these last few years, that I barely recognize myself sometimes, but the only thing that I changed was my negative view of life, into a positive view of life and doing just that, just BELIEVING in myself has given me the ability to accomplish so much more than I ever have in my whole entire life and through out my life I can honestly say I have had some great accomplishments, but never before have I felt so completely happy.
I went hiking last summer and on my way to the top of the rocky mountains I made a wish a wish I will not share, but I know that my wish is coming true, because I see it happening and sometimes I can't believe it, I can't believe that it is, but how else do I explain the way things are shaping up in my life? how do I explain the things that are happening? the only way to explain it is that wishes do come true, our true desires will if we believe in them, if we work hard for them and if we do so with love, integrity, sincerity and truth. I don't write this blog because I want people to know my business, I write this blog because I just feel like telling people my business, I write this blog because I want others to come here read what I have to say but in doing so, find inside of them the strength they need to do it also. When someone says something to me like Jazzy you inspired me, I almost can't believe my ears and in those moments I tell myself that I have to keep doing this, doing what I love, writing my story and sharing so that maybe someone else can find the strength also, because it is REALLY REALLY hard sometimes, but then I think that I CAN! and then when I think that, I just DO!
I know that I am sort of rambling on today, but I can't seem to find the right words to put on this first journal entry of 2013 without sounding crazy, but I want whomever comes across this post to pay attention to the words I am going to write next. Whatever your resolution is in 2013, if you really really really want to do it with all of your heart, then please BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! KNOW that you CAN understand that with LOVING yourself you WILL! and I guarantee that you will stick to your resolution and you WILL make it happen!
I didn't make resolutions for January first because I make resolutions all year long. In June of 2008 I made a resolution to learn how to walk in heels I was 37 years old and I could not walk in a pair of heels if I tried, so, I made my resolution and I bought a pair of heels and I mastered it! I can walk in heels but don't like too, additionally, I hurt my achilles tendon running and I don't want it to get worse as sometimes it still bothers me. So I gave up heels but at least I know I can wear some if I need to. It doesn't matter how small what you want to accomplish is, it's all about loving yourself enough to want to, it's all about trying and when you fall, getting up again and trying harder it's THAT EASY! What I am trying to say with this post is that we all have powers, extraordinary powers that we need to believe in and if we really want to make a change, we can but you have to BELIEVE!
Anyway, I am happy because I spoke to my love and he and I are good and no we are not together but I have no doubt that when the time is right, we WILL BE! so here is hoping that everyone that comes across this post finds themselves in good health, in good spirits and may you have an AMAZING 2013!
REMEMBER.... BELIEVE AND YOU SHALL ACHIEVE!
BELIEVE ~ CHER - not relevant to this post but I love this song! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p0chD8U8fA
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