"I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin do they?" ~
Jess C. Scott
Dear Journal -
Today I found a man that was probably about fifty something years old with a full head of gray hair completely and irresistibly handsome! I mean this man had this certain charisma that I just felt so completely drawn to, that I couldn't help but to stare. Talking to him felt so comfortable and the subject although extremely personal, he made it seem perfectly comfortable, although maybe that also had to do with the fact that he was getting my medical history as he is my new doctor.
During the intake interview, I could not help but to stare at his lips and notice how his smile lit up the room, for some reason I could imagine this mans hands all over my body! that is probably the very first time in my life that I have felt so attracted to an older man, it was pretty crazy! but what happened next is even crazier! the doctor was my GYN doctor and I could not help but to think, that this man knew my female anatomy better than any man I have ever had sexual intercourse with and the next thing I knew, my mind was running wild with thoughts of him touching me. Then to top it off, he had to examine me and the first thing he said was, I have to check your breast for lumps and then his hands were all over my breast and I had to keep trying to control my thoughts because I could not help but to fantasize about him, he was just THAT sexy!
I have to say that I am really glad that I am starting to find older men attractive, I was really looking forward to this happening to me, like I finally see them with lustful eyes. I think that what attracts me most is the fact that they already know themselves, they are comfortable with themselves, they already went through their 30's and 40's and are in a good place, I wonder what it feels like to be made love to by a man that has done it all? it's so sexy to think of a man that appreciates a woman's body for what it is, with all it's imperfections, a man that can appreciate what a woman's body has been through. Childbearing, weight fluctuating, breast dropping, stomach hanging or whatever imperfection a woman may have, yet they can appreciate it because they see deeper or at least I hope most of them would.
But something about this doctor gave me the impression that he did, I just felt like I wanted to be his, so badly, but not only physically, I actually as I was sitting in his office imagined myself walking down the street holding his hand I could somehow tell that he was just an amazing man, or maybe it was the fact that he was a doctor which means he is intelligent and intelligent men just make me crazy! he made me laugh a few times and we joked about a few things and he was just awesome! I looked as his wedding ring finger and there was no wedding band and then I asked one of the nurses if he was married and she said she thought he might be.
I have never asked a man out on a date, well, I sort of did but he doesn't count. This doctor however, he would be like a complete stranger or well not anymore since he saw it all! but asking him for coffee would be COMPLETELY BOLD! dare I do so? DAMN! as much as people may think I am bold, I really am not, but I like the idea! and anyone who knows me knows that I have quite the active imagination, so I will just imagine a love affair with him at this point! but I can't wait until my next visit! I don't think I ever wanted to go to the doctor so badly!
Yeah, that was pretty much my afternoon, it was pretty much the highlight of my day, meeting my new doctor who turned me on! that was a first!
No comments:
Post a Comment