“When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing.”~
Steve Maraboli
Dear Journal:
I have been feeling so extremely and deeply inspired lately that I am overwhelmed! my mind is constantly racing with thoughts of you of how many things I want to write on here and on how amazing it is to be able to share you with others! the other day, I received a random text from one of my cousins who I don't have the pleasure of talking to often, my beautiful cousin who is always fun, exciting, beautiful and caring. Out of nowhere I get a text message from her, telling me how proud she was of me and how she had read my journal and what she thought about it. I love her because she was honest, she said that sometimes I wouldn't capture her interest, but that this one time, that night before, she had actually read all the way through and felt what I was writing. I cried as I read her message and it made me feel that no matter who comes across this my journal that I love, the fact that I can touch them in any certain way, truly makes me happy and makes me all the more want to continue to do this what I am doing this moment, sharing my life with you.
I am truly enjoying my creative writing class, the best part of being in that class is that I am surrounded by a bunch of creative young people, ready to go out there and take on the world! it's pretty awesome being around all these young intelligent creative individuals, who share ideas. I think the oldest people in the class is my professor and I, but I honestly think that I am probably older than my professor, whenever he says things like, you guys are all still young and probably haven't experienced, xyz, I smile to myself and think, OH PROFESSOR! if you only knew! I have been there before.
Still, these young amazing people that I am surrounded by, truly inspire me, they remind me of the young woman I could of been, of the young woman that never had that chance to be that young woman. When I was that young woman, I was too busy living a grown up life, trying to take care of my then little baby boy who is now 18 years old, yet I am so lucky that I am in this amazing country where it is never to late, never to late to try, never to late to fulfill my dream and it is in those moments that I feel most inspiration, in those moments that I want this even more, it is in those moments that I am so grateful to all that I have and all that I have become. Thank you God, thank you Universe, thank you America.
About the mean men. So a few months ago I wrote a post about how some guy had been mean to me on a dating site http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/11/mean-cruel-men.html after I wrote it, I thought to myself that I would continue to randomly add conversations I have had on line with as I like to call them, "strange men on the internet" anyway, since I have no real "outside world life" I stay on dating sites to "stay social" and I always try to be polite and nice to everyone and I even attempt to answer all my emails, sometimes however, I get so many that I don't have time to answer them, or I just forget, or I just don't for whatever reason. Some men are cool, some get straight up pissed, I can not tell you how many times I have gotten told off, but I have learned in all these years of being on these sites, that I will only say to someone, something that I would say to their face, I don't use a computer to hide what I have to say as I don't as they say "have hair on my tongue" so I usually try to treat everyone with love and respect.
Well, guess who decided to grace my email with his presence??? non other than the same guy who was mean to me last time! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT JOURNAL??? I wasn't sure if it was him, and so I responded (can't deny that he is really cute) but all the while I kept thinking... isn't this him?? so I told him that I thought that I had told him off before and he assured me that I had not, but I kept looking at the pictures thinking, I KNOW IT'S HIM! so, I did what any loving woman would do, I wrote him and assured him that it was him and that due to the fact that he had completely disrespected me the last time we interacted via email, he had been very disrespectful. I should of gone out with him (he lives close to me) and then slapped him right across his face for calling me a "fat pig" which is what he called me, but, why would I waste my time? so un necessary! I have to admit it feels good to turn him down again! HOW DARE HE TREAT A WOMAN THAT WAY!
This reminds me of another man a few years ago who I had also met online and I had given him my phone number and we began to text back and forth and so I told him I was a single mom of three and I don't think I had the chance to tell him much else, because after I took too long to answer one of his text messages, he told me off! he said something like........ You stupid bitch, you are probably a spick who lives on welfare with a bunch of kids, you don't know what you just lost out on, I own my own business I would of given you anything you wanted, I would of bought you a camera! (I had told him I didn't have a camera.. still don't) and his text infuriated me, so Jazzy did what Jazzy does best, I never got back to him.... NOT!...
No, Jazzy was very patient this one particular time, Jazzy gathered her thoughts and kept her cool and came up with a plan, I decided that I wasn't going to text him back, instead, I was going to call him. So, I waited a bunch of hours until I knew he would of forgotten all about how he had just judged and stereotyped me and later that evening I made a call blocking my number and the call went something like this....
Him: Hello
Me: Hi, this is Jazzy how are you?
Him: completely shocked! OH! hey how are you?
Me: I am doing well thank you, I just thought I would call you to tell you the following. Thank you, but I do not require you to buy me a camera, actually, I do not require you to buy me anything at all, I have never, nor would I ever be with any man because he can give me material things. Rather, I would like to be with someone who would be respectful and caring. For your information, I have a full time job and am also attending college, I do not require assistance from the government although there have been times through out my life that I have had to get help, I do not however abuse the system and am grateful to live in this amazing country. Also, I do not appreciate being called a bitch.
Him in complete shock: Oh my god, I am so extremely sorry I do not know what came over me
Me: No, I am the one that is sorry, I am so sorry that you just lost out on the best thing that ever crossed your path. Good night.
End of conversation.
Moral of the story:
Treat everyone with love and respect, don't judge, always give each and every person that crosses your path, the opportunity to be a unique individual, by getting to know who they are before you start making assumptions. There are no two people alike.
Ok.... Got to go now, I have to keep reading my book for class. Just Kids by Patti Smith. Awesome book so far! I highly recommend it!
Good Night Journal!
No comments:
Post a Comment