Sunday, March 20, 2011

My road to the race, week 9 – Someone PLEASE HELP ME :(


I hardly ever dream, or at least I don't ever remember my dreams, but the other day I woke up after having a what to me was a horrible dream.  I dreamt that I was trying to run and I couldn't,  I felt stuck to the ground and wouldn't progress.  I think this dream had to do with the fact that I have been jogging on a treadmill and I had never done that before.  I feel like this one dream sort of came true though, last week when I went on my first out door run, I had a horrible time getting unstuck from the ground.  
Every time I would drive over a bridge and saw runners I would always think, damn I want that to be me! so of course now that I have been training for my first race ever, it was only natural to go for it (run across a bridge).  Last week when the weather in NYC was so amazing, I decided to cross the Brooklyn Bridge.   I got ready for my run across to Brooklyn and back into Manhattan on Thursday morning.  I was so excited that I almost felt like throwing up, I felt butterflies in my stomach and kept thinking OMG! what if I can't make it? what if I get sick? what if I fall, I was so extremely anxious and excited that I was actually going to run over the bridge that when I took off, I started running up hill really fast, the way I have been doing so on the treadmill, I was running so fast, that half way up I had to stop and catch my breath! IT WAS HORRIBLE! after that happened I said to myself, ok relax Jazzy it's only a bridge you have ran in forrest park which has a lot more hills then this and I realized that it was just my excitement that had me running literally like a crazy woman.  I started my jog again and this time I felt like I was stuck to the ground, like I couldn't take off, finally after talking myself into relaxing, I got into a steady pace and began to jog normally.  It was needles to say, not a very successful run in my opinion.   When I got back to my gym to shower and change I was so overwhelmed with emotion, that I began to cry.  I know that this may sound silly the whole me crying thing, but to me, this is a huge accomplishment.  I have wanted this for so long that to see myself actually doing it, makes me very emotional.  
9 weeks ago I started my road to the race.  I started training for my first race ever, I am extremely excited.  Although I have been jogging for many years and really love it, I have never really considered myself a “runner” to me, a “runner” is a dedicated individual who has a passion for just that, running.  Although I do love to run, I don’t think I quite qualify yet to be put under the “runner” category.
I would love to sit here and write about how great I am doing with my 16 week road to the race plan.  I would love to say that I have been running miles upon miles and that I lost a ton of weight and how I am running so fast I leave dust particles behind me, how I am ready to kick serious butt the day of the race. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
According to my training plan by week nine I should have been running 4 miles 3x a week at a speed of 5.8 miles per hour.  I am actually running more days then I am supposed too (I run about 4 days a week sometimes 5) my speed however and the distance meaning the 4 miles I am supposed to be at, I have not yet accomplished.  I usually run 2.5 miles per day and I run them at 5.2 miles per hour, at some points during my run I speed the treadmill up to 5.8 miles per hour and I run about a mile at that pace, but then I have to slow down because I feel extremely exhausted.  To my defense, I have been running around a lot lately, I get up really early work all day and go to school at night, so some days, I am really exhausted and it's really hard for me to run.  My trainer told me not to worry about the speed and concentrate on the distance, which is what I am going to start doing.  Hopefully now that the weather is nicer, I plan on running across the bridge which is about 2 miles long and hopefully by May, I can run the whole 4 miles.  Last year I ran 6.5 miles once, so hopefully I can accomplish this goal.   
As far as my diet goes, that's a whole other story.  I feel that I haven’t really improved in it much, why? because I am ALWAYS starving! I am definitely eating as healthy as possible, and I have been for the most part staying away from beef, which I feel like doing away with all together after reading an article that I read regarding the way  cattle is raised for our consumption (that will be a whole other blog post) and I stay away from sweets as much as humanly possible, yet I have not lost any weight.   My friend told me the other day that I am gaining muscle and that is why I haven't really lost anything, but to be honest I don't see it.  I seriously think that I need to be a bit more conscientious about my food choices.  I definitely need to stop drowning everything in ketchup and always being kind to the McDonald's cashiers when I go there to buy my kids burgers and they nicely offer two apple pies for just 1 dollar! hey, that's cheap and I love sweets so what's wrong with some apple pie every now and then right? after all I am eating apples!
At first I wasn’t really concerned with loosing weight because ultimately this isn’t really about weight loss, although if I loose weight in a healthy way I won’t mind.  but after running on the bridge last week and feeling like I was lugging a ton of bricks and feeling really heavy during my run, I realize that if I am going to be a serious runner, then I definitely need to lower my weight.
So, that’s my development.  I am not completely happy of where I'm at, but my trainer said that as long as I am running then I will get to my goal.  I am really excited about all of this, this just comes to show that with a little dedication anything can be accomplished!
If I can do it, so can you! I am beginning to live my dream of become a serious runner.  Some day I will have earned the title of “runner”.  

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