Dear Spring and Fall, you make my life complete, I LOVE YOU!. That's what I thought about during the heat wave from the last few days. But I don't like to complain, because it's useless. Every minute that we spend speaking useless words, we use up energy that we can use for things that are a bit more significant.
I went camping with my good friends, my two young children and my nephew, and watching them having a great time was truly rewarding. While I was there, I found out something that made me feel extremely sad. I wasn't going to write about it, but I feel like I should, because this is a significant thing that I felt and feel that if I share it, it will be out of my system.
I was the only one of my friends who had full internet service on my phone this weekend (thank you AT&T) and so I was scrolling down my newsfeed on facebook and there on the front page of the news (or at least that's how it felt to me) My friend was writing a dedication to his brother (my ex boyfriend who I just recently wrote about http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/07/cheating-bastards.html ) congratulating him on his recent marriage. When I read it, I was shocked, even though he has been with the same woman for a few years now, I was still shocked. So I told my friends and I discussed it with them and we laughed about the facebook drama by the bon fire.
I also told my friends that his new wife who had clearly taken his name because that was her name on there, had commented on the post. My friends told me laughing, that I should comment also or like the status and I told them that I didn't want to comment on it because I used to have another FB page a few years ago that the Facebook police deleted (I call it facebook police) but it was really the administration team at Facebook that deleted the account, because they thought I was soliciting (long story) anyway, I had found him on there a few years ago and when she found out about it (he had told her all about me) she blocked me off his page. Long story short, I didn't want her to have to feel like she needed to do any of that (I respect her and him) in addition, I am no longer in love with him, but he will always hold a very special place in my heart. As I said at the time that I found out she had blocked me and will say it again, she could block me all she wants, but she can never take what we shared (him and I) from either him or I ever. I further chose not to like the status because although I am extremely happy for them and wish them all the very best life has to offer, deep down inside, I did not like it.
I forgot about it until I was driving home and the kids were sleeping and all of a sudden, I found myself crying, thinking that my Hex was now a married man and that maybe, had I made the right choices at the right time, that would of been me. Or maybe, I felt that way because for the last few days I have been feeling a bit down, or maybe because he got married and I am getting divorced, or maybe because I have been single for so long now that it's starting to take a toll on me or maybe it was a combination of all those things, still, I felt really sad in that moment and I cried. I thought, WOW, he's married, I am so happy for him and her, she got herself a good one!
Then, before I could allow myself to continue the pitty party, I thought to myself, oh well that was then this is now, I made the right choices because had I not, I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter (I chose to stay with my soon to be ex husband) instead of staying in Florida and that is what was supposed to happen, I made the right choices and I do not regret it. And after that I was ok and moved on with my day.
This blog post was intended to be about a song, the name which is the title that I gave it. The song, also came on while I was at the camping trip, my friends had went somewhere and I stayed at the camp ground alone with my baby girl. I did not have any music on, but the people that where in the tent next to us, happened to be Colombian just like me, a lovely couple. So, they are playing some old Colombian music and I think to myself, OH GOD! I REALLY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT. But next thing I knew, on came this song, that reminded me of my grandaddy, my grand daddy who passed away years ago, was, is and always will be the truest love of my life! and when I heard it, I started singing it at the top of my lungs (I hope the couple didn't hear me) and then, I thought, I want to translate that beautiful song and put it on my blog.
Below, I introduce to you the beautiful song, TE ESPERARE (I will wait for you). It would appear that due to the content on this post which is about my ex getting married and the title of the song (I will wait for you) that I thought of him with the song. I did not however (when I heard the song, I didn't know he was married yet) actually, I didn't really think of anyone specific or maybe, I briefly thought of someone.
I didn't think of this person because I felt like I am going to wait for anyone, but because the lyrics are so deep, that they touched me and briefly brought that someone to my mind. But, mostly, the song reminded me of my grandfather because the reason why I know the song is because he would always play it and get drunk listening to it. I MISS YOU GRANDPA! EVERY DAY! Thank you for introducing me to such beautiful music, that till this day, touches me deeply! My grandpa wanted me to learn how to play this song on my guitar (I was 14) he wanted so bad for me to learn how to play the guitar well, I never did, wish I had though! I miss you GRANPA! MY LOVE!
I didn't think of this person because I felt like I am going to wait for anyone, but because the lyrics are so deep, that they touched me and briefly brought that someone to my mind. But, mostly, the song reminded me of my grandfather because the reason why I know the song is because he would always play it and get drunk listening to it. I MISS YOU GRANDPA! EVERY DAY! Thank you for introducing me to such beautiful music, that till this day, touches me deeply! My grandpa wanted me to learn how to play this song on my guitar (I was 14) he wanted so bad for me to learn how to play the guitar well, I never did, wish I had though! I miss you GRANPA! MY LOVE!
Below are the lyrics, I translated them into english. I translate better then google! (http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2011/03/friends-for-what-dammitgianluca.html)
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TE ESPERARE BY: JULIO JARAMILLO (I WILL WAIT FOR YOU)
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I will wait for you, I know you love me
And I will be, your adoration
in my memory, your name will be recorded
All of my life, I will wait for you, and you will be, my true love!
My sky, why do you leave me crying?
Don't forget, my love for you!
You know very well, that to have you is my ambition
I will wait for you, I know you love me
And I will be, your adoration
in my memory, your name will be recorded
All of my life, I will wait for you, and you will be, my true love!
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