I made love to him a million times.

I was filled with emotion, being in the same space with him was so overwhelming, it was hard to describe or articulate in a way that someone else could possibly imagine what It felt like. 


And then it happened, we were standing in every one's way on a crowded train and the moment gave way to the unimaginable, we had to move within the train car from one space to another and I turned to walk further into the train car, and he walked behind me.  The space was so tight between us, that we were forced to be real close to one another, he walked behind me without any malice, and all of a sudden, I felt his manhood brush against my butt.  There in that crowded train I felt his manhood for a mere second, his manhood touching my butt and a feeling of panic took control of me.   


As I felt it for what was probably a second, the only thought that came into my mind was......OMG I just felt it!!! I just felt his manhood on my butt!! it was just but a mere second, but I felt it, I felt it on my butt! and had it been another man I would of wanted to turn around and smack him in the face, or maybe moved away from him really fast and felt grossed out about it, or maybe had the person been someone that I thought was handsome I would of felt a sexual desire because of it.  However, because it was him I felt a sense of panic.  For I had made love to this man in my mind a million times, I had made love to him in every possible position, in every possible situation, in every possible way.  And it had always been made love, made love, because I love him so much.  I could not believe what had just happened.  At one point in my life, I had even thought that he was not even real, that he was a figment of my imagination.  That was not so, because there in that crowded train, I had felt his manhood brush against my butt.  I could feel it still, the shape the girth, I felt it!


And I was overwhelmed to the point that I couldn't listen anymore to what was being said, I didn't hear what happened next, I couldn't explain what I was feeling, I was just overwhelmed with emotion and on the next train stop, I had to run out.  I wanted to run out of that train as far away from him as possible.  And although I felt as if I almost couldn't look at him, when I finally looked up quickly to say goodbye, he looked at me with wonder.  I saw it, or maybe I was imagining the whole thing.  But I ran out as fast as I could and I did not want to look back.  And then I finally found a calm spot in the mist of a crowded train station and I cried and I took deep breaths to control my energy, to get back to a state of serenity because I was overwhelmed.


And there in that moment, I realized what love really was and the only way I could explain it was like this.......


Love is the surge of energy that we feel when the person we love is near, the high plateau that can only be reached when that person is around us.   No words are required, no thoughts, no touch, just pure energy from within our souls, the kind of energy that is too much to control, yet it is not something, not the kind of something you touch but rather the kind of something that nothing needs to be done at all, it is just a natural state of pure elated bliss.  


And the rest of my ride, I was just in my own little world.  I did not need to think, I did not need to act, I just sat there staring into space, as if I had just had the best sexual experience of my life, yet nothing had happened, not the act not the feeling of ecstasy nothing at all.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fxp8a_KmRo&feature=fvsr