The other day, I was about to log into my Facebook account on my computer at home, and when I opened the site, my oldest son's page was up. Now when it comes to my childrens privacy, I have very mixed feelings about it, my children are people too, and I want to show them that by me not going through their stuff or reading their personal messages etc., I am giving them my trust and respecting the privacy they deserve as individuals. By me respecting them as individual people, I am telling them that we have a great relationship, that I trust them and that we can talk about anything. I talk to my kids about everything (including sex) I try my best to treat them as individual people and not just someone that is beneath me because they are my children.
So here I am staring at the opened Facebook page and I see that he has an email message from a woman. When I see it, something tells me to look at it (something aka my nosiness) I thought for a second that maybe I should log off, but then I thought, that he is a teenager and as teenagers we sometimes do things because we think we know it all or at least when I was 16 I thought I knew everything, so without further hesitation yet feeling guilt, I opened it!
Jazzy you snooped through your baby's emails??? YES I DID! I felt bad that I was doing so, but I also felt that as a parent, I have the obligation to see who my teenager is talking to and what about on the Internet. What really made me want to read it was the fact that the picture of the woman my son was exchanging messages with, was clearly of an older woman, who in her profile picture looked less then decent. Yes, I know I shouldn't judge, I've taken look at me I'm sexy pictures, who hasn't? as women we all want to look good and feel sexy and there is nothing wrong with it. But when I see a picture like that of an unknown older woman that is emailing back and forth with my baby boy, then I need to know what this older woman wants from him.
I began to read one of their emails, and found out that she was from another country, she was telling him that he should marry her and how he was so HOT etc. how she loved him and how she was going to make him so happy xyz. I could not believe my eyes! I was so upset because as soon as I read this, I knew right away what this B*tches intentions were with MY BABY! She was looking at my child, as a ticket to the US. How dare she!
What to do? I have spoken to my son about him and older woman before. He once told me how he liked a girl that was way older then him and I told him, that although my preference would be for him to stay with girls closer to his age, I didn't really have a problem with him dating someone older. Who am I to judge an older woman for liking my very handsome son who looks older then he really is? In addition, I have myself been with younger men or actually I have been with nothing but younger men so how can I sit there and tell him it's not ok? However, when you are looking at my baby, as a ticket to come to the US, when your intentions are to use him well.....Jazzy is NOT having it!
So now what do I do??? I have NO idea! But I think the first thing I need to do is address it and be honest and tell him I snooped because I love him and just wanted to make sure he isn't involved in anything that isn't proper. To my snooping defense, he had tons of other emails that he was writing back and forth with other girls his age, and those emails I did not look at. Hey, I'm not THAT NOSY!
Being a parent is really tough, there is always a challenge, there is no manual, there is no right or wrong, there is always decisions to be made, it is just really really difficult at times and half the time I have no idea what the he'll I'm doing. But I think however, that as long as I treat my children as intelligent people rather then little people beneath me, and I communicate with them effectively and I accept that they are individuals with their own ideas and their own thoughts, then at least I'm trying my best. I need to always remember that, kids are people too.
So here I am staring at the opened Facebook page and I see that he has an email message from a woman. When I see it, something tells me to look at it (something aka my nosiness) I thought for a second that maybe I should log off, but then I thought, that he is a teenager and as teenagers we sometimes do things because we think we know it all or at least when I was 16 I thought I knew everything, so without further hesitation yet feeling guilt, I opened it!
Jazzy you snooped through your baby's emails??? YES I DID! I felt bad that I was doing so, but I also felt that as a parent, I have the obligation to see who my teenager is talking to and what about on the Internet. What really made me want to read it was the fact that the picture of the woman my son was exchanging messages with, was clearly of an older woman, who in her profile picture looked less then decent. Yes, I know I shouldn't judge, I've taken look at me I'm sexy pictures, who hasn't? as women we all want to look good and feel sexy and there is nothing wrong with it. But when I see a picture like that of an unknown older woman that is emailing back and forth with my baby boy, then I need to know what this older woman wants from him.
I began to read one of their emails, and found out that she was from another country, she was telling him that he should marry her and how he was so HOT etc. how she loved him and how she was going to make him so happy xyz. I could not believe my eyes! I was so upset because as soon as I read this, I knew right away what this B*tches intentions were with MY BABY! She was looking at my child, as a ticket to the US. How dare she!
What to do? I have spoken to my son about him and older woman before. He once told me how he liked a girl that was way older then him and I told him, that although my preference would be for him to stay with girls closer to his age, I didn't really have a problem with him dating someone older. Who am I to judge an older woman for liking my very handsome son who looks older then he really is? In addition, I have myself been with younger men or actually I have been with nothing but younger men so how can I sit there and tell him it's not ok? However, when you are looking at my baby, as a ticket to come to the US, when your intentions are to use him well.....Jazzy is NOT having it!
So now what do I do??? I have NO idea! But I think the first thing I need to do is address it and be honest and tell him I snooped because I love him and just wanted to make sure he isn't involved in anything that isn't proper. To my snooping defense, he had tons of other emails that he was writing back and forth with other girls his age, and those emails I did not look at. Hey, I'm not THAT NOSY!
Being a parent is really tough, there is always a challenge, there is no manual, there is no right or wrong, there is always decisions to be made, it is just really really difficult at times and half the time I have no idea what the he'll I'm doing. But I think however, that as long as I treat my children as intelligent people rather then little people beneath me, and I communicate with them effectively and I accept that they are individuals with their own ideas and their own thoughts, then at least I'm trying my best. I need to always remember that, kids are people too.
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