I'M SCARED

I was looking through my old archived emails that I wrote to Benjamin (the man I was in love with for over 3 years who was a friend and stopped talking to me and I wrote him over 500 letters trying to make up with him, and he never wrote back) I want to put some stuff up on here, because soon, I will be sort of deserting my blog.  This makes me really sad, but I know that I will be so busy that I will probably not have much time for writing anything other then papers for school.  Anyway, I found this little poem I had sent him once, and I remembered when I wrote it and how I felt.  I thought it was sweet and I wanted to put it on my blog, because well, this is my life.......


Thank you for allowing me to share my life with you, you, whomever you are that chose to read my crazy thoughts, my dreams, my stories, my life.  I should of wrote this poem to you my sweet readers, because he surely did not deserve my poems or my love....

A short poem for Benjamin Nunez (that is not his real name)  I wrote this on - July, 23 2009

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I'm scared, when I wake up every morning and my first thought is you.

Im scared, that I never got to feel your lips softly pressed against mine, afraid that your fingers never felt my soft curls, for your touch would have been the sweetest touch.

Im scared that what I feel isnt real its just a thought that wont go away.

Im scared for I do not know for the first time in my life how to move on.  Afraid to let go and loose you from my mind.

I'm scared, said aideu to love.