People sometimes forget my age because I look younger then I am. Not only do they forget my age, they also forget or think that because I am honest and kind, that I am naive. So for starters let me tell you that one thing I am NOT is a sucker. I may pretend I don't know and that I believe, but the reality is that while people may confuse me with being naive, I am far from it.
I have finally come to the harsh realization, that I am a player. I am, that is the God to honest truth. I play a game that is called, I don't really care, cause there are thousands just like you and I can have which ever one I want. To prove this theory, the other night, I went through my phone book on my IPhone and I went down a list of guys that I have met, that for whatever reasons I didn't talk to, so I was out drinking and I started to send them all messages. And what do you know, they all responded! LUCKY ME RIGHT? Not really. The truth of the matter is that players end up alone, and now that I have finally made the decision that I might want to have a winter something, I realized that all these games that I have been playing are boring and extremely exhausting.
I have to admit that for a very long time I did this, because I was in love with someone and I kept comparing everyone to him, but after realizing that I will never find anyone like him (because he is weird) I realized that there are other just as weird people out there that will pick my interest, or maybe not loving him anymore helps me see qualities in others that I didn't notice before because I kept looking for him in everyone.
Today I was feeling a bit down and confused and I walked into my good friends office and told him that I didn't want to play the game anymore, his response to me was, "Jazzy, I told you, you didn't know what you wanted, do you know now?" and I said, yes I do, I want a boyfriend. He laughed and said, good, because I have always said it, you are not very good at being a player.
I am not, one of the reasons why I am not good at it, is because I am too honest and I don't like to play with people's feelings, I don't like to mislead anyone and I am straight up as to what I want from people. Most of the time, men can't really handle this about me, men claim they want someone who know's what they want or that "keeps it real" but the reality is, that men LOVE the dramatic chick that causes them all kinds of heart ache. I don't have time for drama, because I need to concentrate on school.
On my way home I began to think about the people that I communicate with and what they mean to me and I talked to myself almost out loud on the train (which caused people to look at me, just kidding) but I kept thinking about what I really want and how I am going to get it. I did this, because I only have a few weeks left to play the game before I start school, because once I start, people start dropping out of my life like flies, because quite frankly when it comes to my education, nothing or no one, will get in my way of that. The minute someone causes me any kind of distress, they are out the fucking door! why? because there are thousands upon hundreds of men in this world.
What did I decide on this train ride you ask? well, for starters, I began to think of all the fun I have by being single and playing "the game" I began to think of how simple my life is and how selfish I have become to the simple life. I began to think about how much I love to flirt and meet new guys on a constant basis, I began to think of all the attention men give me and how much I truly enjoy it, I began to think about all the cute one's I still haven't hung out with because I have been sort of stuck on stupid lately, and lastly I began to realize that I don't have any free time for anyone once I start school, so how in the HELL am I supposed to make time for this "boyfriend" of mine.
All of a sudden, I was back to square one...... LOST IN THE PLAYER WAY! I know I am not good at being a player, but I have decided that I have all the tools to be just that. I won't finish last, because I've been playing this game for way longer then most of the men I deal with or should I say most of the boys I play the game with.
I am a proud cougar, I used to be ashamed of the fact that I like younger men, I no longer feel that way. Younger men like me, older men don't, so, what do you expect me to do? most of the time, girls are like, wtf! you should be happy. The truth is that talking to so many women, I have also learned that older men, or rather men of all ages act the same. To me, age is just a number.
I have a whole lot to offer and I am not going to give my all to just anyone, I AM A KEEPER, but only he who is worthy of me, will be able to take me away from my Player ways. I do not believe the saying, once a player always a player. That is far from being true. When a player finds his/her fit, he/she will stop the game for him/her. The player is always thinking, ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME NOT PLAY YOU? At least, that is how I think. Just like that man, that plays with a bunch of stupid girls that fall for his game, I too can do that.
I am an intelligent grown woman, who has pretty much been with all kinds of different men, therefore, most often then not, I can almost predict a man's next move. I laugh most of the time, when they think I am a fool. But I let them believe that, they can think that all they want, because he who laughs last laughs best. I would tell my first husband that phrase all the time. Because I deep down inside, always knew he was playing me. He would be out with all sorts of women playing me like a sucker, but in the end, I'm afraid to say, that I had the last laugh. He was sorry, because he lost the best thing he ever had.
I went to therapy for a while and my therapist confirmed to me what I sort of knew for a long time, I have never experienced true love. I have been in love many times, but It has not been true. I don't trust anyone, nor will I ever. However, I know in my heart that this man, THE ONE the one who I will for the very first time, experience true love with, he is out there somewhere and I need not find him, because one day, he will find me, he will tame me and make me his.
When he comes into my life, he will get the most precious of all jewels. I am proud to say, again, that I am an intelligent, confident, hard working, beautiful woman, who has so much to offer, that I absolutely refuse to offer it to just anyone. No I have not written down what specific traits I want in a man, the honest truth is that I am afraid to write it down, because I often get what I wish for. I do not want to wish for this wonderful man that will one day sweep me off my feet and never let me go, I am afraid because I might not be ready for him yet and I don't want to ruin it.
However, if he shall come, he will have to work really hard to come even remotely close to my heart, because I am a stallion and only a real man can tame me!
So for this winter, I already started the game. I have a few young men that I am currently talking to. I was only talking to one, but his actions and dilemmas turned me off to the point that I had to start using my numbers again. I don't have a little black book, but I have a contact list on my IPHONE and today I made my moves and what do you know, in a day, I have already made plans to come back from my trip which is next week and begin a new set of games. OH GAMES HOW SWEET THEY CAN BE!
Well, I know I sound a bit arrogant tonight, but the truth is, that you shouldn't hate the player, you should hate the game. This is my game and I will play it how I choose too. I keep it real, because my tamer I have not met. I am not in a rush to either, because you best believe that there is always a man willing and ready to hang with Jazzy.
If men can do it, then why the fuck can't I.........GIVE ME ONE GOOD FUCKING REASON?
If you are a woman, and you stubble upon my blog, I want you to know, that you are WORTH IT! don't let ANY MAN! TREAT YOU ANYTHING LESS THEN A QUEEN! Royalty is what you deserve. I also believe that as a man, you should not allow anyone to treat you like anything less then a KING because we are all worthy of love and respect. Yes I am a player, but I keep it real, I don't act like I am exclusive to no one, because that I am not.
My favorite song.... simple kind of life by No Doubt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRpZJ9EgJho&ob=av2e
I have finally come to the harsh realization, that I am a player. I am, that is the God to honest truth. I play a game that is called, I don't really care, cause there are thousands just like you and I can have which ever one I want. To prove this theory, the other night, I went through my phone book on my IPhone and I went down a list of guys that I have met, that for whatever reasons I didn't talk to, so I was out drinking and I started to send them all messages. And what do you know, they all responded! LUCKY ME RIGHT? Not really. The truth of the matter is that players end up alone, and now that I have finally made the decision that I might want to have a winter something, I realized that all these games that I have been playing are boring and extremely exhausting.
I have to admit that for a very long time I did this, because I was in love with someone and I kept comparing everyone to him, but after realizing that I will never find anyone like him (because he is weird) I realized that there are other just as weird people out there that will pick my interest, or maybe not loving him anymore helps me see qualities in others that I didn't notice before because I kept looking for him in everyone.
Today I was feeling a bit down and confused and I walked into my good friends office and told him that I didn't want to play the game anymore, his response to me was, "Jazzy, I told you, you didn't know what you wanted, do you know now?" and I said, yes I do, I want a boyfriend. He laughed and said, good, because I have always said it, you are not very good at being a player.
I am not, one of the reasons why I am not good at it, is because I am too honest and I don't like to play with people's feelings, I don't like to mislead anyone and I am straight up as to what I want from people. Most of the time, men can't really handle this about me, men claim they want someone who know's what they want or that "keeps it real" but the reality is, that men LOVE the dramatic chick that causes them all kinds of heart ache. I don't have time for drama, because I need to concentrate on school.
On my way home I began to think about the people that I communicate with and what they mean to me and I talked to myself almost out loud on the train (which caused people to look at me, just kidding) but I kept thinking about what I really want and how I am going to get it. I did this, because I only have a few weeks left to play the game before I start school, because once I start, people start dropping out of my life like flies, because quite frankly when it comes to my education, nothing or no one, will get in my way of that. The minute someone causes me any kind of distress, they are out the fucking door! why? because there are thousands upon hundreds of men in this world.
What did I decide on this train ride you ask? well, for starters, I began to think of all the fun I have by being single and playing "the game" I began to think of how simple my life is and how selfish I have become to the simple life. I began to think about how much I love to flirt and meet new guys on a constant basis, I began to think of all the attention men give me and how much I truly enjoy it, I began to think about all the cute one's I still haven't hung out with because I have been sort of stuck on stupid lately, and lastly I began to realize that I don't have any free time for anyone once I start school, so how in the HELL am I supposed to make time for this "boyfriend" of mine.
All of a sudden, I was back to square one...... LOST IN THE PLAYER WAY! I know I am not good at being a player, but I have decided that I have all the tools to be just that. I won't finish last, because I've been playing this game for way longer then most of the men I deal with or should I say most of the boys I play the game with.
I am a proud cougar, I used to be ashamed of the fact that I like younger men, I no longer feel that way. Younger men like me, older men don't, so, what do you expect me to do? most of the time, girls are like, wtf! you should be happy. The truth is that talking to so many women, I have also learned that older men, or rather men of all ages act the same. To me, age is just a number.
I have a whole lot to offer and I am not going to give my all to just anyone, I AM A KEEPER, but only he who is worthy of me, will be able to take me away from my Player ways. I do not believe the saying, once a player always a player. That is far from being true. When a player finds his/her fit, he/she will stop the game for him/her. The player is always thinking, ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME NOT PLAY YOU? At least, that is how I think. Just like that man, that plays with a bunch of stupid girls that fall for his game, I too can do that.
I am an intelligent grown woman, who has pretty much been with all kinds of different men, therefore, most often then not, I can almost predict a man's next move. I laugh most of the time, when they think I am a fool. But I let them believe that, they can think that all they want, because he who laughs last laughs best. I would tell my first husband that phrase all the time. Because I deep down inside, always knew he was playing me. He would be out with all sorts of women playing me like a sucker, but in the end, I'm afraid to say, that I had the last laugh. He was sorry, because he lost the best thing he ever had.
I went to therapy for a while and my therapist confirmed to me what I sort of knew for a long time, I have never experienced true love. I have been in love many times, but It has not been true. I don't trust anyone, nor will I ever. However, I know in my heart that this man, THE ONE the one who I will for the very first time, experience true love with, he is out there somewhere and I need not find him, because one day, he will find me, he will tame me and make me his.
When he comes into my life, he will get the most precious of all jewels. I am proud to say, again, that I am an intelligent, confident, hard working, beautiful woman, who has so much to offer, that I absolutely refuse to offer it to just anyone. No I have not written down what specific traits I want in a man, the honest truth is that I am afraid to write it down, because I often get what I wish for. I do not want to wish for this wonderful man that will one day sweep me off my feet and never let me go, I am afraid because I might not be ready for him yet and I don't want to ruin it.
However, if he shall come, he will have to work really hard to come even remotely close to my heart, because I am a stallion and only a real man can tame me!
So for this winter, I already started the game. I have a few young men that I am currently talking to. I was only talking to one, but his actions and dilemmas turned me off to the point that I had to start using my numbers again. I don't have a little black book, but I have a contact list on my IPHONE and today I made my moves and what do you know, in a day, I have already made plans to come back from my trip which is next week and begin a new set of games. OH GAMES HOW SWEET THEY CAN BE!
Well, I know I sound a bit arrogant tonight, but the truth is, that you shouldn't hate the player, you should hate the game. This is my game and I will play it how I choose too. I keep it real, because my tamer I have not met. I am not in a rush to either, because you best believe that there is always a man willing and ready to hang with Jazzy.
If men can do it, then why the fuck can't I.........GIVE ME ONE GOOD FUCKING REASON?
If you are a woman, and you stubble upon my blog, I want you to know, that you are WORTH IT! don't let ANY MAN! TREAT YOU ANYTHING LESS THEN A QUEEN! Royalty is what you deserve. I also believe that as a man, you should not allow anyone to treat you like anything less then a KING because we are all worthy of love and respect. Yes I am a player, but I keep it real, I don't act like I am exclusive to no one, because that I am not.
My favorite song.... simple kind of life by No Doubt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRpZJ9EgJho&ob=av2e
No comments:
Post a Comment