Dear Journal:
I have been meaning to tell you this story all week long but keep forgetting to write about it and this is a good one that HAS to go on here. Ok so I am on six different dating sites, I am on them for a few reasons but one of them is not to meet anyone to date, I'm being serious. I stay on them and plan on staying on them even after I have someone special, because the day I do have someone special I will explain to this man why I stay on these sites and since my man will be so awesome and understanding and so confident in what we share, he will not need to worry about me being on them.
The reason why I stay on them is not really important nor do I really want to write about it right now, but I am on six of them and randomly I chat with people. Very seldom does anyone truly capture my interest and to be honest NO ONE ever gets me excited. Actually, the other day I was feeling a bit depressed about the fact that no one gives me butterflies or gets my "juices flowing" or makes me have any sort of physiological reaction, but I still talk to people randomly and like I said every now and then someone will capture my interest.
About two weeks ago however I met this really cute school teacher who I thought was really really cute and so we started chatting and I decided to give him my number, for the week that followed that man and I sent each other messages back and forth all day long. The messages would start coming in from the moment I would open my eyes and would see his good morning text messages, until the minute I went to bed and said good night. I must admit that I truly enjoyed his attention but the whole time I would talk to him, I kept feeling like I was talking to AJ http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html I almost feel that him reminding me so much of AJ was probably the only reason why the conversations kept me interested. I know that, that is probably wrong, but well I have to be honest when I say that I look for him (AJ) in everyone even though I know that there are no two people alike, there are definitely similarities in certain people and well what attracts me from one person is probably what would attract me from another if they are similar.
I did however kept thinking to myself that I had to stop comparing him because he was not him and kept also telling myself that what I was doing was wrong, so I did struggle with it, but the truth is that I am only human and therefore am not perfect, what can I do? it happens. I kept looking at his picture and telling myself that I was going to MAKE myself like him even if that was the last thing I did in this world. He was very handsome so it was easy to look at his pictures, but the honest truth is that I was giving him what I was because he truly reminded me of AJ and since I have been missing AJ so much lately, I guess it sort of made me feel better.
However, I told myself that from now on everyone who I meet and give a chance to, is going to be innocent until proven guilty and that I was going to take everything this man and any man that I meet moving forward at face value because I will not do to anyone what I did before, meaning that I will not go around treating people like suspects just because half or maybe three quarters of the male population are fucking lying bastards who like to play games because half of them don't know where they are going, who they are going to, what they are bringing with them and or how to deal with their fucked up emotional drama! (bitter Jazzy?) so I believed everything he said and thought to myself that everyone is innocent until proven guilty and although I was not giving him my 100 percent trust, I was at least going in with an open mind and intend on doing the same with every single person I meet. I will not judge one person based on the other millions, it isn't fair to me or the man that one day does come into my life who will be honest and genuine.
So we talked talked talked and the day came when we would be meeting the next day, just for coffee. That morning he and I spoke as usual and we said that we would be meeting the next day, he told me that he was extremely excited and how much he could not wait and I told him the same (I was being semi honest) but I wanted to knock out the meeting in person so that we could keep talking because I don't like dragging things with someone then I meet them and I don't like them. I think that is a waste of my valuable time and the other persons as well. Anywho! I tell him to call me (we had an actual phone conversation once) and I told him to call me again so we could get comfortable and he said he would call me after 4:30pm. Well, that was last Wednesday it is now Sunday and I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK!!
How did I feel? well, thank you to my lucky stars, my beautiful positive energy and to all that love that I send out to the world each and every day, I felt pretty good. For starters at first I kind of figured after he didn't call me at 4:30 that he had changed his mind, like I honestly felt it (gut feeling) The next day I was a bit annoyed and I sent him a message and told him that at some point it would be nice if he would at least apologize for being less than respectful (which he probably won't) but in all honesty, at the end of the day I was quite alright! that man has NO IDEA! what he lost out on! like not to be conceded or anything, but I find myself to be quite the catch. I am happy about myself, where I am at in life, where I am going, how I look, how I feel and how awesome I am to someone when I care for them. So, did I loose out on anything? HELL NO! who the hell wants to be with a man who is a fake? who is a flake? who is a liar? THANK YOU! need I say more?
So moral of the story??? if someone does something like that to anyone who comes across this post, be thankful that such a looser person was taken out of your path before they dirtied your amazing karma! my karma is fine, because Jazzy lives by ONE BASIC RULE... DO NOT DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE DONE TO YOU!... I am 100 percent genuine and honest with all those who I meet and I PRIDE myself in that and feel great about the fact that I can be that way. So... I almost feel bad for this teacher who one day will get back what he gave me. Yes, life does have a funny way of making you pay for all your wrong doing. I have paid for many things myself so I know this to be true.
GOOD NIGHT JOURNAL!
Justin Timeberlake - What goes around comes around...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOrnUquxtwA
I have been meaning to tell you this story all week long but keep forgetting to write about it and this is a good one that HAS to go on here. Ok so I am on six different dating sites, I am on them for a few reasons but one of them is not to meet anyone to date, I'm being serious. I stay on them and plan on staying on them even after I have someone special, because the day I do have someone special I will explain to this man why I stay on these sites and since my man will be so awesome and understanding and so confident in what we share, he will not need to worry about me being on them.
The reason why I stay on them is not really important nor do I really want to write about it right now, but I am on six of them and randomly I chat with people. Very seldom does anyone truly capture my interest and to be honest NO ONE ever gets me excited. Actually, the other day I was feeling a bit depressed about the fact that no one gives me butterflies or gets my "juices flowing" or makes me have any sort of physiological reaction, but I still talk to people randomly and like I said every now and then someone will capture my interest.
About two weeks ago however I met this really cute school teacher who I thought was really really cute and so we started chatting and I decided to give him my number, for the week that followed that man and I sent each other messages back and forth all day long. The messages would start coming in from the moment I would open my eyes and would see his good morning text messages, until the minute I went to bed and said good night. I must admit that I truly enjoyed his attention but the whole time I would talk to him, I kept feeling like I was talking to AJ http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html I almost feel that him reminding me so much of AJ was probably the only reason why the conversations kept me interested. I know that, that is probably wrong, but well I have to be honest when I say that I look for him (AJ) in everyone even though I know that there are no two people alike, there are definitely similarities in certain people and well what attracts me from one person is probably what would attract me from another if they are similar.
I did however kept thinking to myself that I had to stop comparing him because he was not him and kept also telling myself that what I was doing was wrong, so I did struggle with it, but the truth is that I am only human and therefore am not perfect, what can I do? it happens. I kept looking at his picture and telling myself that I was going to MAKE myself like him even if that was the last thing I did in this world. He was very handsome so it was easy to look at his pictures, but the honest truth is that I was giving him what I was because he truly reminded me of AJ and since I have been missing AJ so much lately, I guess it sort of made me feel better.
However, I told myself that from now on everyone who I meet and give a chance to, is going to be innocent until proven guilty and that I was going to take everything this man and any man that I meet moving forward at face value because I will not do to anyone what I did before, meaning that I will not go around treating people like suspects just because half or maybe three quarters of the male population are fucking lying bastards who like to play games because half of them don't know where they are going, who they are going to, what they are bringing with them and or how to deal with their fucked up emotional drama! (bitter Jazzy?) so I believed everything he said and thought to myself that everyone is innocent until proven guilty and although I was not giving him my 100 percent trust, I was at least going in with an open mind and intend on doing the same with every single person I meet. I will not judge one person based on the other millions, it isn't fair to me or the man that one day does come into my life who will be honest and genuine.
So we talked talked talked and the day came when we would be meeting the next day, just for coffee. That morning he and I spoke as usual and we said that we would be meeting the next day, he told me that he was extremely excited and how much he could not wait and I told him the same (I was being semi honest) but I wanted to knock out the meeting in person so that we could keep talking because I don't like dragging things with someone then I meet them and I don't like them. I think that is a waste of my valuable time and the other persons as well. Anywho! I tell him to call me (we had an actual phone conversation once) and I told him to call me again so we could get comfortable and he said he would call me after 4:30pm. Well, that was last Wednesday it is now Sunday and I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK!!
How did I feel? well, thank you to my lucky stars, my beautiful positive energy and to all that love that I send out to the world each and every day, I felt pretty good. For starters at first I kind of figured after he didn't call me at 4:30 that he had changed his mind, like I honestly felt it (gut feeling) The next day I was a bit annoyed and I sent him a message and told him that at some point it would be nice if he would at least apologize for being less than respectful (which he probably won't) but in all honesty, at the end of the day I was quite alright! that man has NO IDEA! what he lost out on! like not to be conceded or anything, but I find myself to be quite the catch. I am happy about myself, where I am at in life, where I am going, how I look, how I feel and how awesome I am to someone when I care for them. So, did I loose out on anything? HELL NO! who the hell wants to be with a man who is a fake? who is a flake? who is a liar? THANK YOU! need I say more?
So moral of the story??? if someone does something like that to anyone who comes across this post, be thankful that such a looser person was taken out of your path before they dirtied your amazing karma! my karma is fine, because Jazzy lives by ONE BASIC RULE... DO NOT DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE DONE TO YOU!... I am 100 percent genuine and honest with all those who I meet and I PRIDE myself in that and feel great about the fact that I can be that way. So... I almost feel bad for this teacher who one day will get back what he gave me. Yes, life does have a funny way of making you pay for all your wrong doing. I have paid for many things myself so I know this to be true.
GOOD NIGHT JOURNAL!
Justin Timeberlake - What goes around comes around...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOrnUquxtwA
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