I wrote this on the plane on my way home from Colombia, SA. I didn't re-read or edit it and I want to post it as I have not been on here for about two weeks and I missed you journal! side note, some old posts came up that I had not read in years and when I read them again I cried! I'm so happy to have you journal! the true events of my life! I never lie to you and I only hope that if one day I am blessed with the gift of a man that is truly going to love and respect me, that he will be ok with me having you, because you mean the world to me! My little piece of the world wide web!
Dear Journal
Last week was my birthday and I had the opportunity to celebrate it in Colombia! The last time I spent a birthday there I was 15 years old and actually, the trip was my bday gift from my parents because I LOVED visiting my grandparents every year!
This trip was very very different and the whole time I was there I felt like there was something missing, which there was, my grandmother was no longer there and the last time I was there which was about two years ago almost to the day, I had been there to say goodbye to my second mom because she was very ill and it would be the last time I would see her. Being there without her was pretty hard, Colombia just didn’t feel the same. I miss and love her and my granddad so much! They raised me from the time I was born until I was about 6 when my parents were able to bring me to the U.S.
My birthday was really special! I had about 30 to 40 guests and everyone danced until about 2am. I couldn’t believe how many people came and I truly felt loved! As gifts I asked everyone to bring non perishable food to be donated. It was awesome how much food people brought me! A few days later my mom took the food to a nearby church and my mom said that the priest was really happy because there are so many people that go to the church to ask for food and sometimes he has nothing to give away, this made my heart ache that there are still people in this world that have no food and here in the US people throw food out like it’s no big deal! (Insert sad face here) I was happy that people gave me lots of food to donate!
The whole day which was also the day I flew out, I kept wondering if my ex would message me to say something anything at all. Last time I heard from him was probably May and I have been thinking about him a lot wondering how he is doing as I don’t really have anyone to ask. So, after the party at around 2:30 I had a chance to look at my phone and he had sent me an email around 2:30 that afternoon and his message was horribly mean and so deeply hurtful. I was feeling kind of nice so when I read it I broke down and cried so hard, the worse part was that I wasn’t even crying about the mean words but more so because he messaged me and I was so glad to hear from him and sad that he is still in a dark hard place and I can’t do anything at all about it. So while my bday started off really good, I guess it ended pretty sad.
I don’t even want to repeat to you journal his mean words, but let’s just say he’s wished death upon me yet again, how come he hates me so much? (Insert sad face here).
Well, all in all I had an amazing time with my family and got myself 7 new tattoos! Im so addicted! My ex brother in law is a tattoo artist and he hooked me up with a few small ones as he’s still Learning so I guess I serviced as his human canvas!
I also got a some from someone who’s pretty darn good and hot! While my cousin and I were there getting my tats we were both enjoying the eye candy! Had so much fun!
My best friend reminded me that in my early 20’s I would always say I would never get a tattoo but then I did start to like them and then I loved them but didn’t know what to get so I waited until later in life on purpose and now my family is probably thinking I’ve lost my shit or I’m crazy but journal, how don’t they already know all of this about me by now? I’m Jazzy, I just do shit! No rhyme or reason!
Give a little respect - erasure
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