Set You Free

Poem: Set You Free
By: Jazzy
Written: 6-4-2014


I love you, so I will set you free, but I want you to know, that you will always have a little piece of me.  

I'll miss you, when the sun sets over the mountains, and wish you, that all around you there is calmness.  

To love you, was all I ever wanted, but I will set you free, for you will never have to hear from me.  

I'll let you go now, but know that of my heart, you'll always have a hold.  Farewell my darling, may your days be filled with love and your nights be filled with gladness...


Picture - Sunset...by Jazzy
Taken with Iphone on my hike of June 4th 2014 Horsetooth Reservoir, CO

The Bubble

The Bubble
By: Jazzy


Let me into your bubble! allow me to come into your space.  Let me smell your fragrance, the natural scent that comes with your embrace!

Come close to me just once, allow me to pour my love all over you! let me break down that shelter, the one you have built all around you!

Let me into your bubble! allow me to become one with you.  Get close so I can touch you, and let me feel what for so long I have wanted to!

Come close to me just once, and I promise you won't regret it.  

Come close so we can be one, we will both never forget it.  

Allow me into your private space, where we will both share the same air.

Allow me into your warm embrace and let me show you how much I care!

Let me into your bubble.

DON'T COME NEAR ME!

Dear Journal -

Sometimes I think.... I don't really want to write everything everything everything that goes on in my mind, but then I think, I need to write it all! Someone ones told me that sometimes the way I wrote left her wondering exactly what it was that I was talking about, it was almost as if I was writing a subliminal message, almost if I am writing a "secret" message for the person who it is intended for, to be the only to understand it.  Anyone else, would have to try to decipher through it to know what I am talking about.  I told her that there were times that I wrote this way on purpose, because deep down I didn't want anyone else but that person to know, because if I wrote it so obvious that everyone could see it, then how would this be a personal thing to us, or to the person that I was sending the secret message to and that if she couldn't understand sometimes my entries, then I was doing a good job at trying to hide the truth and that made me feel happy.

He used to send me subliminal messages, I know that he did.... remember him? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2010/12/omg-my-first-blog-entry.html Benjamin.  AW! did you think I had forgotten my old friend? never that.  No I don't sit around and cry about him anymore or miss him the way I once did, but sure I remember him with warm loving thoughts, never hate, never anger, never that. This message isn't for him though, this message is actually for someone that I keep deep in my heart, very close to it, so close it sometimes hurts a whole lot.  I am not really sure if he ever visits this journal, nor do I know if he will ever read this entry, but if he did, then this is what he would find out.....

The last time we spoke with actual words and sounds it was on the day he celebrated his birth.  After that things felt strange and we stopped speaking yet again.  Today I went on his little piece of the world wide web and I stared at a picture of him, and my eyes got watery and I felt really sad.  What is it about him that makes me feel this way? that is what I thought.  Why is it you that makes me sad? and I stared and wondered why is it that he used to bad mouth the same space on the world wide web he now frequents? or is it that it is me he did not want to have a connection on there with? and if so, why would it ever even matter? for so long I was pushed away to the point that now I am shut down, buried deep in a sadness that I will not allow myself to feel and not even he would make me happy even, because I gave up on him.  But I do not think I ever even tried, all I wanted was to know him, to partake in some way in his life, to be the friend that once upon a time we had been, to share ideas and words and laughter.   What is it about me that he can't handle? or is it I the one with the problem and I don't want to accept it?  So I continued to stare at the picture and only sad thoughts filled my head.  But I wanted to keep looking, because seeing that made me feel sad and a little better all at once, to know that for a moment on the same day he was there too in that same piece of the artificially created world and that meant that he was alive, somewhere in this real world, the one we all walk around in.

I am starting a new chapter of this thing called my life really soon, and everything from the past there I will leave it.


Don't come near me
By: Jazzy

Don't come near me I will kill you with my anger, don't come near me I will kill you with my pain, don't come near me I will stab you with my dirty looks, don't come near me I will take you back again.......

Key Keeper

Key Keeper

By: Jazzy

The Keeper of the key, is no longer with me.

I pulled I tugged, I tried but failed! I even tried to cast a spell!

But all is well, I will excel! 

I'll let him keep the key, because forever he, will have a very special piece of me.  

I will keep him in my memory, and send him much mental love and positive energy, and grant him what he's been wishing, for so long the same words he said but I didn't listen.

But the time has finally come, so I'll leave it all behind and I'll leave him with the key for all eternity, because forever he, will have a little piece of me.  

Keep the key for I have sealed the chamber that it opens.....

Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

I will always be here for you.....you know it all to well.....


Green Day - Wake me up when September ends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU9JoFKlaZ0

Birthday Poem

Written on November 16, 2013

Birthday Poem
By: Jazzy

To hear your voice makes me weak, to speak to you makes me feel complete.  

I try so hard to keep you far, but in my heart here you are, deep inside like no other, and to me you're number one, the bluest sky my shinning star.  

I love you now for how long who knows? I love you now and so you should know, that on your birthday you're in my thoughts.  Happy this day when you were born, happy this day my love was born, how can I thank the universe? 

Yes yes the day is finally here, the one you celebrate only once a year! Happy happy happy this day! I wish I could give you my warm embrace! And shower you with a thousand kisses and show you why I'm always missing, my lovely friend how I love you so!  Happy Birthday to you may you have a million more...

Dormant Love

My LOVE is dormant, I put it to sleep while you don't love me.  

My love is dormant, I put it to sleep because you still don't know me.  

My love is dormant, I put it to sleep because you don't see it.  

My love is dormant, it's fast asleep in the depths of me.  No one will have it, for it is yours whenever you want it.  

Just come and get it, open it up you will never regret it.  

It has your name on it, gold plated adorned with roses.  

My love is dormant, no one can get it, it is yours only.  

My love is dormant.

Seated Woman by: George Seurat 

Thought I let you know.....

Poem: Thought I let you know
By: Jazzy


I don't know how to let you go, 
so I thought I would let you know, 
that in my heart forever you.  

I had imagined a thousand kisses, and your touch that I never had I'm always missing.  

How sweet would a kiss have been and I wouldn't have known where to begin, to feel you're touch is what I yearned, to smell you're scent and hear you moan.

I think in you're arms is where I belong.  

For you to desire me is what I wanted, to be your everything was all I was asking.   I don't know how to let you go, so I thought I would let you know.

This too shall pass, it will not last!

Dear Journal -

Hi... I am really tired that is all I really have to report these days! I really am! but life is going and days are passing and goals seem more attainable than ever and if feels great! I have been thinking about AJ so much lately, actually I don't remember a day in the last two years that I haven't thought of him at the very least once a day.  I am not sure why out of so many that cross my path, he sort of lingers in my thoughts.  I haven't spoken to him now in a few weeks, I'm trying really hard to let people go, especially people that don't make an effort to be my friends the way I make an effort to be theirs.  I have learned in these past few years some very valuable truths about friendships, one truth is that a true friend talks to you instead of getting upset with you for no reason.  A friend tells you if they miss you a friend gets excited to hang out a friend knows how to separate romance from friendship or rather, they don't see you as anything other than a friend and therefore it is easy for them to be just that.

Many and I am talking about males, have claimed to be my "friends" only a handful I truly believe are.  Yes AJ was one of them for a while and then he was something more and now he is just nothing.  Yes, it hurts, yes I miss him, yes I don't know how to act about it and yes I wish things weren't this way.  But, I have to accept that friendship means something different to everyone, so that's just life and I have to move on and know that this too shall pass.

So.... I will leave you with a poem inspired by him.  I wrote it on the train ride home the other night while I was thinking of him, as I wrote it, tears also rolled down my cheeks.  I thank him for being the source of my inspiration still.  I hope one day soon I can show him this post.

Enjoy my poem, it's called.....

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

This too shall pass, for it will at last.  And I won't remember his face nor will I remember his embrace, and there will be no memory of kisses, and there won't be feelings of missing, and it will feel like we never met and the site where it happened I will surely erase, and the pics I kept they will all be deleted and the words we spoke will never be repeated.  I will not remember his singing voice no I will not recall his high notes. I will not recall his laughter, I will soon erase his chapter, of the part when he was in my life, when we talked we laughed we agreed we tried.  To be friends just friends we said, but to be with me he would need to know me more he claimed.  But he knew me like no other, and I wanted him more than others. But this too shall pass, this will not forever last, and I will forget his singing voice, and I wont recall his highest tone. And I won't even remember his laughter and there won't be a memory there after.... Yes this too shall pass.