Thursday, July 18, 2013

Learn with Jazzy: A very short essay on Alzheimer's Disease

Dear Journal -

I want to post my short essay that I had to write for my neuroscience class.  Writing it, took me about 4 hours.  It took me that long, because when I get into a topic I become so fascinated by it that I can't just read one research article on it, I have to read on and on.  So, what should have taken 2 hours, took 4.  I enjoyed writing it, I learned from it and I hope that you will enjoy it and find it informative as well, or at the very least interesting!


You see! you can learn stuff on my journal! YAY!


Behavioral Neuroscience
Summer 2013
Alzheimer’s disease brain disorder

Alzheimer’s disease is a degenerate brain disorder that causes individuals to have memory loss.  This memory loss slowly progresses to the point where it begins to affect all aspects of the individual’s life.  Slowly the person suffering from this disease, forgets situations, people, and eventually due to the loss of connection between nerve cells and the brain, the decrease in active neurons begin to deteriorate the brain causing it to shrink which ultimate results in death.  To date, there is no known cure for this disease, however there is ongoing research being conducted on many different aspects of the disease, some of the research includes research on cholinesterase inhibitors which temporarily improve and stabilize the decrease of memory loss.
There are three major things that happen to the brain which cause the Alzheimer’s disease, and although it is not known how the disease begins, what is known is that there are abnormal deposits of proteins that form amyloid plaques.  As the disease progresses fibers begin to tangle in a process called neurofibrillary tangles.  Eventually there is a loss of connection in the synapse between the normal nerve cells and the brain, as the healthy neurons begin to die, the disease begins to spread first in the hippocampus and eventually all other parts of the brain.  This causes the decline in memory, eventually it also causes motor deficits and eventually death.

Currently, there is no known cure for Alzheimer’s disease but there is on going research on such things as cholinesterase inhibitors.  Cholinesterase inhibitors help improve the effectiveness of acetylcholine.  When acetylcholine effectiveness is stronger on the nerve cells, it helps them communicate more effectively with one another which help the disease from advancing in the rate which it would otherwise advance without the assistance of the cholinesterase inhibitor.  The medication works best in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and moderate stage as well.  The medication however does not work on all patients unfortunately.  While some patients will improve, others will not and continue to deteriorate. 

I chose this topic because it is fascinating to me how the miscommunication of neurons which on the surface seem like a very simple physiological process, is such a complex one that I can’t completely grasp.  Taking this class has really opened my eyes on how fascinating, scary and complex the human body is and I think I prefer not to know so much about it as it makes me very anxious to understand how it all comes together and how the simplest malfunction of one system can completely destroy our very existence.  I am interested in Alzheimer’s also, because it saddens me how someone can have known you all of their life and then due to the disease the next minute not know who you are.  It is extremely sad and although I have never met anyone with the disease, I have heard many sad stories from individuals who’s life was greatly affected due to someone in their family suffering from this type of dementia.
Sources:
Ministry of Health.  (2013).  Cholinesterase Inhibitors.  Retrieved July 7, 2013 from http://www.health.gov.bc.ca/pharmacare/adti/clinician/cholinesterase.html
Lahiri, Debomoy K. (2009).  Current Alzheimer Research.  US National Library of Medicine National Institute of Health; 6(1): 1-3
National Institute of Aging.  (2011, November 18).  Retrieved July 7, 2013 from http://www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers/publication/part-2-what-happens-brain-ad/hallmarks-ad

I chose this pic to put on this post, because trying to understand it was very difficult to me.  But.... by gosh I think i've got it! FINALLY! sheesh! 





Monday, July 15, 2013

All is well!..... In the moment

Dear Journal:

I had a great weekend with my children in PA.  I have been trying to stay focused in the moment and sometimes that is EXTREMELY hard, but, I have to admit that when I accomplish it and when I catch myself drifting away to a land far away called my millions of thoughts (useless thoughts) It feel great to bring myself back to the present moment and just enjoy it.  So, I guess I don't need to tell you that while I was sitting in the pool watching my daughter play and allowing myself to think about nothing and just focusing on the moments, it's no wonder I noticed all the delicious eye candy all over that damn pool!!!! can I just say that I was trying really really really hard not to look at anyone because the place was a family place and I am almost sure that most of the men running around after their kids in the pool were probably with a woman and she was probably somewhere in the vicinity! I tried journal, but what am I supposed to do if the one sexy daddy inside the pool with his little boy kept looking at me? like is it wrong that he was probably married and checking me out? and well, I had to look back, I mean that would be just rude of me if I didn't right?

Dark hair, shadow beard about 6'3 and that body! OH MY!!!!! I have to admit that I felt really good at the fact that he was checking me out, because for the first time in about 20 years, I am wearing a two piece bathing suit and I felt ok with wearing it actually, I think this is the first time in my life I wear a two piece bathing suit (when I was younger I wore the top once or twice and shorts) so obviously when he checked me out, since he was my type and he was hot and I wanted to jump his bones, I felt TRULY flattered! I don't know, maybe that's petty and silly, but I have struggled with my weight all of my life, so for me to actually put that two piece on and hang out in a pool full of people one who was HOT! (and probably married! insert sad face here) checking me out, it just made me feel good.  But, because I am respectful and I think I saw a woman talking to him later on (what if that was his sister? insert sad face here), I just pretended I wasn't lusting over him! but Oh my gosh!!! I want me one of those!!!!

Maybe I felt that way because he reminded me a little of someone who I will not write about, well, his facial features did not his body.  Did I mention his body was HOT???? and it wasn't HOT like he works out 7 days a week and he was toned or anything like that, actually, he was wearing a tee inside the water, but, I'm talking about the height and weight, and his arms, it just all looked so sexy together, sexy enough that here I am a day later and I'm still thinking about it! OH MY! oh, when he was leaving, he through on some reading glasses! SO SEXY!

So, all is well in Jazzy land.  I start my new class today and I am looking forward to it, I had a restful weekend, I regenerated and now I am ready to get back to those books! I think I got a B in my last class and I was really really really happy! I mean it isn't an A, but that class was REALLY CRAZY! I'm glad it's over and I will post a short essay I wrote for it as soon as I get a chance.

So.... all is well in Jazzy land! I will not write about someone, I will not complain about the fact that I haven't spoken to someone else in 3 weeks (AJ) and I will just keep saying it over and over again because in this moment.... ALL IS WELL!

I will leave you with my new favorite song!

Clarity
By: Zedd


Monday, July 8, 2013

Dear Journal: 4-8-13 I said too much, but not enough

Dear Journal:

My Mac Book is once again at the computer hospital aka geek squad at best buy, and so I'm using my sons laptop that is tiny and slow.... Me no like.

I don't know what to write, but I wanted to post something because I haven't written you in almost a week and I miss you! I like to come on here and share me.  Journal, I have been feeling a bit down lately, I really have.  Also, remember AJ? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html well, I had a huge argument with him 2 weeks ago and we are no speaking or rather, I think he isn't speaking to me or maybe I am not speaking to him.  Either way, I absolutely refuse to budge, because I am the one who is always trying to keep the peace with him and it pisses me off that no matter how hard I try we always end up in some stupid argument, he had the nerve to tell me when I saw him that he likes to fight with me he said and I quote "it's fun!" well, it isn't fun to me and I am making an effort to forget about him, because if you are my friend who loves me then there is no reason why we should fight. 

Journal, I want to leave you with a song, but I also must add to this post one final thing.... 2 number of men that in the last two weeks said I was too crazy to handle, really? it makes me sad that men can't "handle me" what does that even mean?

Ok, tired going to bed.  I'll leave you with REM.

REM - Loosing my Religion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ2yXWi0ppw



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The man from B5


Dear Journal:

Although this morning the weather is really gray, the reason for me feeling gray inside has absolutely nothing to do with it, actually, I rather enjoy gloomy days as they make me feel peaceful and lazy and that in turn makes me think of sleeping which in turn makes me think of cuddling, which in turn makes me think of my 5 year old daughter (since she is my cuddle buddy) and thinking about my little baby always brings joy to my heart! Ok… sorry about the tangent! Me always do that!

So as I was saying, the reason for my sadness is a bunch of things some which I sort of want to keep buried deep inside and pretend that they don’t affect me, but I can however say this.  There is going to be a great deal of change in my life which I am happy to embrace but scared all at the same time.  I feel like I am ready yet part of me wishes deep down that the change would not be as drastic as it will be, although change is good, it’s also very scary.

Last night I had the magnificent pleasure of hanging out with someone that is extremely extremely special to me, and although I was given by him specific instructions never to write about him again, he will have to understand that this is my journal and that I write about special things and special people and shitty things and shitty people also if I have too, I don’t think he understands how significant you are to me journal, and that the fact that I write about him means he is pretty darn significant to me, no matter how weird sometimes I find that to be and no matter how hard I try to suppress it.  I have shared a significant amount of memories about him all over these pages, which makes him very very special. 

Yes maybe he and I have not had the best sort of friendship that two people can share, actually, I have no idea if I am even allowed to call him friend, since to him that word is very meaningful, but quite honestly I have to say that if nothing else, I learned from him all sorts of things and I should hope that from me he learned a thing or two also.  Regardless of the fact that our one year “relationship” or “friendship” has been tumultuous to say the least, we have none the less, some sort of connection that sometimes I find it difficult to explain or describe. 
One thing that I remembered last night while I was helping him do somethings he had to do, was that he and I have this dynamic that I can’t even explain, it’s just this thing that is greater than us and it’s something that I genuinely believe we both know and we both try to fight.  Maybe however, this is all just in my mind and I am just making it up as he said I often have done in the past, maybe he is right and I should believe that my theories about him or us are all wrong, but, I know what I feel when he is around and that feeling is not one that I feel when any other man is around me, so because I am honest always to myself and others, I must say that the dynamic I feel is always amazing, especially when we share some random night, morning, afternoon, just because life in that moment brought us together without any plan or explanation and we just become us, the two people we really are around each other, the dopey, goofy, funny, singers, dancers, fighters, defenders, liars, schemers, deceivers, defenders and detectives!
When it’s us two in a good day, morning or afternoon, when we are “we” we are pretty awesome and after we share those random moments which always seem to happen for some unexplained reason, after he is gone, I feel this empty space that I don’t want anyone else to fill and yet I know and understand that I have to let the magical moment pass and not question or wonder, but just be.  So yes journal, today I am feeling blue and this time he didn’t do a thing wrong, we didn’t fight, he didn’t upset me, I didn’t upset him, but life just happened and life broke my heart.

I wish I could say that I will never write about him again and that instead I will do as he instructed me and start writing about the garbage men I saw this morning picking up the furniture that was left last night by the fire hydrant.  I wish I could say that after we hugged and he drove away I did not cry on my way up the stairs of my building, I wish I could say that I have forgotten it all, but I cannot, because this is my life and I like to write and if he keeps his promise and visits me once a year, I am sure I will write about him again, so sorry Wilford, but Jazzy can’t stop writing about you! you inspire me in a way that others can’t, so sorry Wilford! and even if you don’t thank me for my poems, because “you won’t encourage me to keep doing it” I do it because this is what I love to do and I wrote about you, even before I met you…. Dare to dream my friend………
He told me last night that he is sure it won't be hard to find someone new to inspire me.  He doesn't know how wrong he is. It isn't every one that crosses my path, that I stare from a far, I write a story about without even knowing who he is and then he becomes a reality in my life, right before my eyes. How else can I explain the laws of life and or attraction if not by sharing these things that I manifest into my reality, these almost phenomenon that constantly happen to me just cause. No, it won't be really easy to find someone to inspire me again, but I am sure that one day, it will happen. I dare to dream again!

Journal, I leave you with a poem.  For you Wilford!

The man from B5
By: Jazzy

The man in B5, made me laugh, made me cry...

And on that last night there could be no good bye.  For those last hours were spent there with me, it was almost as if life had just made it be. 

And on that last night through little white lies a promise was made.  That one day he’d go and spend time with me there, and that on that day it would be a grand big affair! That we would walk, we would laugh as only we do! down the road up the hill, over mountains, we'd see, the wonderful natural beauty of God, the breath taking planes, and the wonderful sky! and oh my goodness what is that which we see? It’s that sort of tree oh this place is for me!

And hours will come and hours will go, Just him and just I, us sing and us dance!  I’ll ruffle his feathers and keep him together.  He’ll keep me from dreaming and being a fool.  Together we’ll smile it will last for a while, together at last together we'll be, together at last just he and just me.

And we both will tell truths and we both will tell lies, and we both will not know why we once said goodbye.  Oh boy one more time I will have him near! and he won’t remember that what I said was clear, that dreams do come true remember please dear! that I held him, I smelled him and kissed his soft lips.
And then I’ll remember how on that last night, he hugged me real tight and it felt just so right! together always in my memory we'll be! the man from B5, just he! and just me!


Painting by Claude Monet - Me like him very very much!




What happens in Vegas!

 Dear Journal - I know it has been sometime since I last wrote but as of late, my life has been pretty busy! I came on here tonight to write...