Love me like you do.........

Dear Journal -

I was just out with some friends and I got home and I don't feel well.  I did not have not one drink, not one! the last time I drank too much I sent someone a message that was not mean because it was true, but kind of mean because it was too true.  Anyway, I didn't only send that individual a message, I also sent someone else a message, his name is BK and the song that I just attached to this post for the strangest reason makes me think of him.  BK and I met at Brooklyn College him and I had 3 classes together and we became really good friends, long story short we had a brief romance but it was very intense.  He is way younger than I am which is probably the only reason why we are not married right now.   Anyway, that's a brief description of who he was to me in my life.   About a month ago we talked on the phone for about 2 hours, we almost didn't want to get off I feel like it isn't only hard for me to accept that we can't be together, I think he feels the same way so I always try to keep my distance.  I am so proud of him though, he is about the get his MBA from a great University, he is just everything I want in a man, just fucking awesome as hell! I miss him all the time and think of him more than I should, but thinking of him makes me miss NY so I try to stop myself from indulging in my thoughts of him.

I think the song I've attached to this blog makes me think of him because we once took a drive in Brooklyn in my old car which was rather small and he took me to this park in Brooklyn that I did not even know existed, we got there parked in a parking spot and we had sex in the front of the car.  It was pretty crazy because the parking lot of that park was pretty well lit, but he didn't care we just did it and it was amazing! having sex in a car in NY is illegal, you can get arrested, but we didn't care, we felt it and we did it.  I guess I think of him with this song because him and I were both very adventurous, we once planned to do it in a class room at the college, so we waited until the class was dismissed and plotted on how to sneak into a class and get it on, we figured out a way and did it.  It was scary but awesome, the risk was getting kicked out of school, but I guess we didn't care about the consequences, we just wanted to enjoy a crazy moment.  I miss him all the time.

What we felt for one another was real...........