Dear Journal -
This is a pitty post! by that I mean that I was just updating my music library and I came upon a song that doesn't make me cry anymore but years ago made me sob. How crazy is it how our feelings change and in time, this too should pass! Yes, while I was going through that time in my life I would always tell myself that, but it would still not stop the hurt, it would still hurt so very much, so very much, but it did pass and here I am now, listening to a song that reminds me of a love that I once knew yet I don't cry anymore, but that doesn't mean that I have forgotten that individual completely! on the contrary, I still look at his facebook page just about every few days, just cause. I often wonder, if he is engaged to be married, why do I see more posts about his dog and countless pictures of his dog, yet I never see any of her? does that mean something? does it mean he isn't crazy about her? maybe she doesn't like her pics all over a social media I get it, but never even a mention of her? I don't know, it's just weird to me that's all. I know I shouldn't look at his page anymore, but it doesn't matter. I mean if I were into technology and software engineering I would probably follow him on all social media, so it's not like it's such a personal page that I try to stalk, it's just a habit at this point I guess.
So I went on a date the other night. He is 50 years old! I'm only writing that on here because I have never been on a date with someone older than I am, so it was pretty cool! I was definitely attracted to him and thought he was really cool, but I haven't heard from him since and I am not about to chase nobody! I mean he did tell me he wanted to see me again and asked if I would hang out with him again, but we did not make any concrete plans, so he might of just asked to be nice. I honestly don't care, it kind of makes me feel sad that I have come to the point that love no longer matters to me, it's seriously something that I just seriously don't care about. Still, I won't stop dating because why should I? as long as I'm breathing, I will always force myself to try to feel something romantic for someone, some day.
Well journal, I'm pretty tired. I work so much, it's always so busy at my job, but I truly am happy doing what I do! It's pretty darn awesome!
This is a pitty post! by that I mean that I was just updating my music library and I came upon a song that doesn't make me cry anymore but years ago made me sob. How crazy is it how our feelings change and in time, this too should pass! Yes, while I was going through that time in my life I would always tell myself that, but it would still not stop the hurt, it would still hurt so very much, so very much, but it did pass and here I am now, listening to a song that reminds me of a love that I once knew yet I don't cry anymore, but that doesn't mean that I have forgotten that individual completely! on the contrary, I still look at his facebook page just about every few days, just cause. I often wonder, if he is engaged to be married, why do I see more posts about his dog and countless pictures of his dog, yet I never see any of her? does that mean something? does it mean he isn't crazy about her? maybe she doesn't like her pics all over a social media I get it, but never even a mention of her? I don't know, it's just weird to me that's all. I know I shouldn't look at his page anymore, but it doesn't matter. I mean if I were into technology and software engineering I would probably follow him on all social media, so it's not like it's such a personal page that I try to stalk, it's just a habit at this point I guess.
So I went on a date the other night. He is 50 years old! I'm only writing that on here because I have never been on a date with someone older than I am, so it was pretty cool! I was definitely attracted to him and thought he was really cool, but I haven't heard from him since and I am not about to chase nobody! I mean he did tell me he wanted to see me again and asked if I would hang out with him again, but we did not make any concrete plans, so he might of just asked to be nice. I honestly don't care, it kind of makes me feel sad that I have come to the point that love no longer matters to me, it's seriously something that I just seriously don't care about. Still, I won't stop dating because why should I? as long as I'm breathing, I will always force myself to try to feel something romantic for someone, some day.
Well journal, I'm pretty tired. I work so much, it's always so busy at my job, but I truly am happy doing what I do! It's pretty darn awesome!
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