Sunday, May 29, 2011

Today

Dear Journal -


It is 4:05 am and my daughter will not go to sleep! yes, she is wired from all the excitement today.  I went to six flags with my favorite gay couple in the world.  These two are just simply awesome! in little ways, I witnessed their love for one another today.  And It made me think of how love is just the most amazing thing in the world and how to me, people's sexual preferences are irrelevant.  It's amazing how people's love for another simply demonstrates that we all live for one thing and that thing is love!


At one point, I was standing watching my daughter run around getting wet and I decided that I didn't care that I had not brought cloths with me and I just ran under the water with her and got wet right along side of her.  And then after I got wet and was having a blast all of a sudden he came into my mind and I thought, OMG! for almost three years I took him with me where ever I went, for almost three years I wasted my thoughts on him, WOW! what waste of energy and precious time.  And the minute he came into my mind and I thought that, I said to myself well, it happens it's ok let it go.  I did just that, I let it go right away as to not embrace those thoughts of the past and concentrate on the beauty that was right in front of me, my baby girl.


I feel like I have this secret that I wish I could tell everyone about, but I know that many wouldn't believe me.  I know that some people won't, they will just judge me and think I'm crazy.  I'm not, I am experiencing living in the moment, and realizing that living in the past or future, is nothing but a huge waste of time.  God I wish I would of known this back then.  I let go of my thoughts and focused on that moment, the moment that was right in front of me, the only one that counted.  


Then I thought about how I have sometimes forgotten things that happened in the past, things that I should of remembered, and I realize that the reason why I can't remember certain meaningful moments was because when they were happening, I wasn't paying attention and therefore I forgot them.  I bet when certain things I forgot were happening, I was so busy in my thoughts somewhere in la la land, that I wasn't paying attention to what was right in front of me.   I couldn't really enjoy those moments which in turn made me forget them.  


I am referring of course to moments in my life where I was so miserable about something, that was probably not even that serious, that I couldn't focus on the good things or anything other then the craziness that is daily life sometimes.  Thank God for Dan Millman and his extraordinary book.  I hope one day, I can master this wonderful life, that we are all here to live.


In this moment, my daughter is playing with an extension chord, I am writing this and you, you are probably reading this.  Read this book, you won't regret it!

No Ordinary Moments: A Peaceful Warrior's Guide to Daily Life (Millman, Dan)

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