Dear Journal:
I am not by any means an A student. God I wish so bad that I was! I truly try my very best although sometimes I think I could do more, but I do try my best and that is all that I can do. There have been so many times that I have left school crying, that if I had pennies for tears I have shed over school work, I would probably have a shit load of money! but then, there are those times when I get back a paper and one of my professors will give me a compliment and in those moments all those bad grades don't seem to matter! that feeling of accomplishment and happiness that I feel in my heart I cannot compare to anything else, I work so hard for the things that I love and this is something I truly do love! I love to learn, I really do, yet sometimes I feel like I haven't learned a thing!
Today I got back one of my papers and my professor commented on it and said that I wrote very well, it was a psychology paper which took me days and hours of hard work and deep thought to finish writing, but it was so rewarding to get a compliment from my professor who I truly admire (she is a neuroscientist who is AWESOME!) and in that moment when I saw her comment on my paper, I realized that I am really truly happy! like I know that there are days that I write to you and tell you my sorrows and I tell you my fears and I complain and tell you how much I cried, but all in all, in my heart I feel contempt, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I am doing the right things and making the right decisions and choices, journal I have to say that life is pretty good and today was an awesome day!
I went running yesterday and ran three miles, that felt pretty darn good as well, and I have decided that my goal is to continue running until I can reach my goal of six miles per run. I have no idea how I will ever accomplish this, but I have to try although my achilles tendon was hurting today and this makes me really really sad, I need to try to stretch and make sure I am careful and that I rest it. Other than that there isn't anything crazy going on in my life and I have to say that this makes me really really really happy! I feel this sense of serenity in my life right now which I really love, I feel like all is as it should be, like I am back in my comfort zone. I nearly booked my trip today but had to stop myself because I am not sure if I want to go away to where I was going to book my flight too. I don't have much money, but I have many many miles! hooray for credit card miles!
I don't have much more to report for now journal only that Benjamin hasn't been on line for days in and days out and although I shouldn't really care, I do keep wondering where he is? I mean I have followed him for five years now and so it's weird to me not to know something, anything about him. The only good thing is that I don't feel crazy about it, like if this would of been two years ago I would be anxious and stressed out about it, but now I feel ok, WOW! i'm really over that man. UNBELIEVABLE! what can I say journal, I guess you and I both knew it was bound to happen one day and that day has finally come! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, like I am free and I love this feeling!
Well, that's pretty much it. Oh... there is also one more thing but...... I want to keep that from you until I know for sure! stay tuned journal, because you know me... I'M JUST FULL OF SURPRISES!
HUGS!
I am not by any means an A student. God I wish so bad that I was! I truly try my very best although sometimes I think I could do more, but I do try my best and that is all that I can do. There have been so many times that I have left school crying, that if I had pennies for tears I have shed over school work, I would probably have a shit load of money! but then, there are those times when I get back a paper and one of my professors will give me a compliment and in those moments all those bad grades don't seem to matter! that feeling of accomplishment and happiness that I feel in my heart I cannot compare to anything else, I work so hard for the things that I love and this is something I truly do love! I love to learn, I really do, yet sometimes I feel like I haven't learned a thing!
Today I got back one of my papers and my professor commented on it and said that I wrote very well, it was a psychology paper which took me days and hours of hard work and deep thought to finish writing, but it was so rewarding to get a compliment from my professor who I truly admire (she is a neuroscientist who is AWESOME!) and in that moment when I saw her comment on my paper, I realized that I am really truly happy! like I know that there are days that I write to you and tell you my sorrows and I tell you my fears and I complain and tell you how much I cried, but all in all, in my heart I feel contempt, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I am doing the right things and making the right decisions and choices, journal I have to say that life is pretty good and today was an awesome day!
I went running yesterday and ran three miles, that felt pretty darn good as well, and I have decided that my goal is to continue running until I can reach my goal of six miles per run. I have no idea how I will ever accomplish this, but I have to try although my achilles tendon was hurting today and this makes me really really sad, I need to try to stretch and make sure I am careful and that I rest it. Other than that there isn't anything crazy going on in my life and I have to say that this makes me really really really happy! I feel this sense of serenity in my life right now which I really love, I feel like all is as it should be, like I am back in my comfort zone. I nearly booked my trip today but had to stop myself because I am not sure if I want to go away to where I was going to book my flight too. I don't have much money, but I have many many miles! hooray for credit card miles!
I don't have much more to report for now journal only that Benjamin hasn't been on line for days in and days out and although I shouldn't really care, I do keep wondering where he is? I mean I have followed him for five years now and so it's weird to me not to know something, anything about him. The only good thing is that I don't feel crazy about it, like if this would of been two years ago I would be anxious and stressed out about it, but now I feel ok, WOW! i'm really over that man. UNBELIEVABLE! what can I say journal, I guess you and I both knew it was bound to happen one day and that day has finally come! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, like I am free and I love this feeling!
Well, that's pretty much it. Oh... there is also one more thing but...... I want to keep that from you until I know for sure! stay tuned journal, because you know me... I'M JUST FULL OF SURPRISES!
HUGS!
No comments:
Post a Comment