This too shall pass, it will not last!

Dear Journal -

Hi... I am really tired that is all I really have to report these days! I really am! but life is going and days are passing and goals seem more attainable than ever and if feels great! I have been thinking about AJ so much lately, actually I don't remember a day in the last two years that I haven't thought of him at the very least once a day.  I am not sure why out of so many that cross my path, he sort of lingers in my thoughts.  I haven't spoken to him now in a few weeks, I'm trying really hard to let people go, especially people that don't make an effort to be my friends the way I make an effort to be theirs.  I have learned in these past few years some very valuable truths about friendships, one truth is that a true friend talks to you instead of getting upset with you for no reason.  A friend tells you if they miss you a friend gets excited to hang out a friend knows how to separate romance from friendship or rather, they don't see you as anything other than a friend and therefore it is easy for them to be just that.

Many and I am talking about males, have claimed to be my "friends" only a handful I truly believe are.  Yes AJ was one of them for a while and then he was something more and now he is just nothing.  Yes, it hurts, yes I miss him, yes I don't know how to act about it and yes I wish things weren't this way.  But, I have to accept that friendship means something different to everyone, so that's just life and I have to move on and know that this too shall pass.

So.... I will leave you with a poem inspired by him.  I wrote it on the train ride home the other night while I was thinking of him, as I wrote it, tears also rolled down my cheeks.  I thank him for being the source of my inspiration still.  I hope one day soon I can show him this post.

Enjoy my poem, it's called.....

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

This too shall pass, for it will at last.  And I won't remember his face nor will I remember his embrace, and there will be no memory of kisses, and there won't be feelings of missing, and it will feel like we never met and the site where it happened I will surely erase, and the pics I kept they will all be deleted and the words we spoke will never be repeated.  I will not remember his singing voice no I will not recall his high notes. I will not recall his laughter, I will soon erase his chapter, of the part when he was in my life, when we talked we laughed we agreed we tried.  To be friends just friends we said, but to be with me he would need to know me more he claimed.  But he knew me like no other, and I wanted him more than others. But this too shall pass, this will not forever last, and I will forget his singing voice, and I wont recall his highest tone. And I won't even remember his laughter and there won't be a memory there after.... Yes this too shall pass.