Dear Journal -
I'm not gonna lie that for the first time in many many years, this yearsValentine's day made me feel a bit down! I felt for some reason a bit down a bit lonely. I thought that this year for the first time in many years I was going to have a Valentine, and although I don't usually allow myself to succumb to the social pressures of all these holidays that we have that are so commercialized, this year I just felt it really bad. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I just had a really awesome time with someone I genuinely liked and I was sort of hoping we would be spending Valentine's day together. I feel like that is probably the most logical reason for my feelings being all over the place. Anyway, Valentine's day has come and gone, but yesterday while I was searching for something to make me feel better, I remembered a Valentine's day many moons ago, that was truly special. It goes a little something like this....
I was in my senior year of High School. I went to a HS called Lower East Side prep. it was an alternative HS and what that basically means, is that I was kicked out of regular HS for fighting (that's another blog post) and I dropped out of HS initially but then decided I wanted to go back to HS and get a HS diploma, so I found out about these small HS that were tailored to accommodate older HS students that wanted to graduate but had behavioral issues etc. My school was really small and everyone knew each other. It was pretty awesome! I really liked it there. I was there for a little over 2 years.
One Valentine's day they had this thing were you could buy a rose and send it to someone. You could do so anonymously or if you wanted, you could put your name on it. The way they did it as I recall is they would put the rose in your locker or maybe deliver it to your locker while you were standing there between periods. I remember that I was standing by my locker and someone came over to me to deliver a rose that a boy had bought for me. Along with the rose was a teddy bear. I don't remember what the card said, but I do remember the card saying a name of someone I did not recognize. You can imagine my surprise when I saw this! I was like, who in the world? In that school there was a "cool" group or a group of teenagers that were like the 'in" crowd, and I was part of the "in" crowd, so I thought I new anyone who was anyone! when I got to one of my classes later on that afternoon, with the rose that someone I didn't know had sent me, a boy came up to me and asked me if I liked the rose he had sent me! I could not believe it! I was so taken aback, and flattered and in awe that someone had this huge crush on me and I was non the wiser! it was a pretty awesome feeling.
Needless to say Anthony (that was his name) won me over and I began to date him. In a nut shell, he and I were together for a little less than a year I think. I took his virginity which I thought was pretty cool! and I think he loved me very much! I do not believe my feelings for him were as strong and I do not remember why we broke up, but it was a sweet relationship that I had with him. During our relationship I do recall there being a girl who was really jealous of our relationship, I do remember that she liked him very much and I also recall that after we broke up she managed to get him, get herself pregnant from him and hopefully lived with him happily ever after! I graduated and never heard from him again. I only have a picture of the two of us, to remind me of a boy that made one Valentine's day very special.
I hope his life is amazing, because he was an amazing guy that I once knew!
This is my journal, these are my memories..... I hope if you come across this post, you will enjoy it!
I leave you with:
Naked Eyes
Always Something There
I'm not gonna lie that for the first time in many many years, this yearsValentine's day made me feel a bit down! I felt for some reason a bit down a bit lonely. I thought that this year for the first time in many years I was going to have a Valentine, and although I don't usually allow myself to succumb to the social pressures of all these holidays that we have that are so commercialized, this year I just felt it really bad. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I just had a really awesome time with someone I genuinely liked and I was sort of hoping we would be spending Valentine's day together. I feel like that is probably the most logical reason for my feelings being all over the place. Anyway, Valentine's day has come and gone, but yesterday while I was searching for something to make me feel better, I remembered a Valentine's day many moons ago, that was truly special. It goes a little something like this....
I was in my senior year of High School. I went to a HS called Lower East Side prep. it was an alternative HS and what that basically means, is that I was kicked out of regular HS for fighting (that's another blog post) and I dropped out of HS initially but then decided I wanted to go back to HS and get a HS diploma, so I found out about these small HS that were tailored to accommodate older HS students that wanted to graduate but had behavioral issues etc. My school was really small and everyone knew each other. It was pretty awesome! I really liked it there. I was there for a little over 2 years.
One Valentine's day they had this thing were you could buy a rose and send it to someone. You could do so anonymously or if you wanted, you could put your name on it. The way they did it as I recall is they would put the rose in your locker or maybe deliver it to your locker while you were standing there between periods. I remember that I was standing by my locker and someone came over to me to deliver a rose that a boy had bought for me. Along with the rose was a teddy bear. I don't remember what the card said, but I do remember the card saying a name of someone I did not recognize. You can imagine my surprise when I saw this! I was like, who in the world? In that school there was a "cool" group or a group of teenagers that were like the 'in" crowd, and I was part of the "in" crowd, so I thought I new anyone who was anyone! when I got to one of my classes later on that afternoon, with the rose that someone I didn't know had sent me, a boy came up to me and asked me if I liked the rose he had sent me! I could not believe it! I was so taken aback, and flattered and in awe that someone had this huge crush on me and I was non the wiser! it was a pretty awesome feeling.
Needless to say Anthony (that was his name) won me over and I began to date him. In a nut shell, he and I were together for a little less than a year I think. I took his virginity which I thought was pretty cool! and I think he loved me very much! I do not believe my feelings for him were as strong and I do not remember why we broke up, but it was a sweet relationship that I had with him. During our relationship I do recall there being a girl who was really jealous of our relationship, I do remember that she liked him very much and I also recall that after we broke up she managed to get him, get herself pregnant from him and hopefully lived with him happily ever after! I graduated and never heard from him again. I only have a picture of the two of us, to remind me of a boy that made one Valentine's day very special.
I hope his life is amazing, because he was an amazing guy that I once knew!
This is my journal, these are my memories..... I hope if you come across this post, you will enjoy it!
I leave you with:
Naked Eyes
Always Something There
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