Then along came him.........

 Dear journal -

So much has happened since I last sat here on my bed and got on this laptop to share with you again.  I always think to myself, that the next journal I write will be about something different and not just my life.  But then I also think to myself that after all, this is my journal so I want to share my life.  I want to share on here this memory because one day when I come back to read this post, I can think back and be like......WOW...... I over came all of it! and he sort of helped me through it! he was sent to me like an angel in disguise as I told him.  

Let me start by telling you what happened to me  a few weeks;  I would say it was about  three weeks ago,  I was in OR for a friends bachelorette party and I saw my ex with his new "love" I put the word love in quotes because I don't believe that he himself believes that, but then again, I don't know, it can very well be as people are weird like that and the truth is the more time goes by the more I think that I never really knew this person, and he may very well be "madly in love" I mean who am I to take that away from him? I also am very realistic and know now that I never really knew this person and that he is capable of so many things that why wouldn't he be in love right? I didn't really know him! sure maybe I knew his surface, maybe his bad habits, maybe even his next move sometimes, but in the end, I didn't know him at all.  So, I won't get into details as they are not important but I just remember thinking after seeing him with her, that I could not believe that he could just be moving on so easily as if we had not just broken up less than 6 months ago after spending 4 years together and even being engaged.  I wasn't angry at the fact that I saw him with her because he had already told me he was with someone and was going to marry her in April, so sometime this month.  So it wasn't so much feeling hurt to see him with someone else, but seeing him with this person made everything seem real! in that moment I realized that this relationship was really over and that I would never ever be with this man ever again.  I am finally ok with that and feel that I am in a way better place simply because I saw him with someone else.  I saw him for who he truly is and I won't write what I think of him on this journal because I don't want to dirty these pages with bad mean words.  If I don't have anything good to say, I will just leave it be.

Now to write what I really came on here to write about.  When I returned from my trip to Oregon and after finally accepting reality, I told myself that I was going to give myself a chance and I was going to actually start talking to people.  It so happened that the day I returned from my trip, I matched with someone on the dating site I was on and when I saw his profile after we matched, I thought he was really handsome.  He messaged me and we started talking and our conversation just started flowing, he asked me out and wanted to know if we could see each other the next day, so I said ok! long story short, I go to his place to pick him up because he only had his work vehicle and we were going to go get some drinks and when I saw him walking out the door my mouth dropped! OMG!!!!!! sooooooo handsome! I NEVER feel that like butterfly exciting type feeling when I initially meet someone, but when I saw him it was......... LUST AT FIRST SIGHT! I asked him if I could get out of the car to say hello and I get out and we give each other a hug and OMG....... I felt like a tiny woman in his big arms! He is so tall and just so damn cute I can't handle it! we went out and had so much fun and we have been seeing each other since! I am so completely smitten! I love the attention he gives me and we can talk for HOURS! I won't even get into the intimate stuff but I guess I will just say....... OMG! writing this post makes me smile, I smile anytime I think of him and I look like one of those weird people that are driving in their car smiling, yea that's me journal!

I don't know where this new romance is going or how long it will last or what we are even doing, all I know is that we both enjoy each others company and I am SO GLAD, that I saw what I saw, because had I not seen it, I wouldn't have given this man a chance, I may have never even met him.  In Colombia there is a saying "un clavo saca a otro" which basically means, one nail takes out another nail, that makes absolutely no sense, but it's supposed to mean that one person can replace another.  I don't think he's replacing anyone for me, I think he simply came into my life when I needed to be reminded that I am amazing! that I am cool, that I am beautiful, that I am smart and that I am funny and that men enjoy my company and like to be around me.  Life is feeling good journal, I feel happy and not only because I'm seeing someone that is super awesome, but also because everything else in my life is coming together and I finally feel free from all that hurt that I went through!

I will leave you journal with the song that my new "boo friend" as I like to call him and we laugh about, sent to me the other night when I left his home.  He said he wanted me to stay so bad, it's always hard to leave when I'm with him. YAY! he makes me want to stay! the song is called stay and it's a lovely song! I keep thinking that I need to dedicate a song to him also, I just don't know which one.  I was thinking about one called Tell me by Grove Theory, it's an oldy but goodie!

Should I send it to him?