Love Myself March!

 Dearest journal-

It has been way to long since I've last visited you and everyday, there is always some sort of excuse I guess, that keeps me from coming on to this page and putting down some thoughts! Sure, there is always some sort of even small event that happens in my life, but I just don't feel that the small events that have occurred in my life lately, are major enough to report and while I do want to bring news of some sort to these pages, I just don't want to bring any sort of boring news, I want them to be exciting, fun and if nothing else, amusing! 

Lately things have gone ok with life in general, I've been having tons of work which keeps me very busy and I always have plans usually every weekend because I like to enjoy life as much as I can.  Most recently, my teenage daughter and I have been learning to me ski her snowboard, it has definitely been a new exciting challenge that her and I have taken on that is super fun! I have to report that I have only fallen once and that was when I was getting off the lift because I got off wrong and ended up on the floor, other than that, we have been skiing down the beginner slopes which are always super fun! I am constantly in awe of how many people are there with their little ones teaching them how to ski! it's mind blowing to see these little ones in these tiny skis coming down a mountain! amazing!!! honestly, seeing all these little kids is one of my favorite parts about going skiing! the place I go to is very family friendly, the youngest little skier I've met so far is 2 years old!!!! 2! he barely just started walking and already in skis! cutest thing EVA!!!

So March is now here and I kept thinking that almost every month I have been trying to do something productive or at the very least find something to stick too, like for instance, in November I had decided it would be no sweets November which ended in half a month no sweets November because I failed that miserably! to my defense, it was probably the worst month to take on something like not eating sweets, as it is the month everyone is preparing for chowing down some delicious food! anyway, I don't ever get to down about not succeeding in something, what I do instead is say to myself "at least you tried!" so, I will try again on a different occasion.  The good thing is that I have done all these challenges in the past and actually followed through, it's just that lately I do lack the motivation to stick to things, I just don't want to put in so much work on things such as being mindful not to stick a piece of candy in my mouth or buy some ice cream at McDonald's which is SO GOOD! but, I will do it one of these months I PROMISE JOURNAL!

This month I decided that I wanted to do "love myself March!" so, what does that mean you ask journal? Well, for starters I have written here so many times that I am a giver, I give, give and give until I can't give no more and then I'm resentful when no one gives me, so I decided that this month instead of giving everyone else, instead, I'm going to start by giving me! giving myself some love every morning when I wake up by doing the 30 days of yoga challenge, giving myself by making all the medical appointments I constantly say I have to go on, giving myself or actually going to get myself a manicure pedicure (which I NEVER DO!) I always just do my own nails as I feel that I rather spend 60 dollars on something else because there are so many other things I can do with 60 bucks! but this month I'm going to "splurge" I will be getting a mani-pedi doing my hair, getting a facial anything I can do to take care of me! Ms. Jazzy! 

Lately I have been feeling pretty happy with life in general, I almost want to say that I attribute that to the fact that I am no longer in love! I feel this weird sense of freedom! like I've been untied from the restraints of love! Sure, love is a wonderful amazing thing with you share it with someone that is reciprocating and you have a healthy loving thing with, but if that is not the case, then it becomes like an impediment to happiness! lately I just feel so free that my heart does not belong to anyone, I feel so happy that I don't care about it anymore, that I'm not thinking about this one specific person 24/7 that I don't have to worry about someone else's life but my own.  Do I want to ever fall in love again? maybe one day I don't know, but I'm going to be very very picky as to whom I give my heart to, because I think I am pretty damn awesome and I shouldn't go around giving my heart to just anyone! I am single and am ok with it and it feels amazing and I feel amazing and it has taken me a long long time after my last break up to get to this place! so I am grateful to the universe and God!

So yes! Love Myself March is all about me! I cried to my friend the other day telling her that I had noticed that I take care of everyone and who takes care of Jazzy? absolutely NO ONE! so I have to take care of Jazzy because if I don't love myself, then who will? I love that I'm finding my center and feeling empowered and free and amazing! I can't complain journal, life is just as it should be! 

I will leave you with.....Can't stop the feeling - Justin Timberlake