Dear Journal:
I'm sick and tired of AJ! yup! I seriously sincerely am! all he and I ever do is argue about dumb shit and I'm tired of him accusing me of not being able to have a girlfriend because of me! how the hell is it my fault? his explanation is so ridiculous that I can't even believe someone would say something so ridiculous! but what can I expect of a young man that has no life experiences? these feelings that I have for him have to go away! I don't want them anymore!
Journal, AJ who I have known for two and a half years, has occupied my thoughts and my heart for far too long, and we hung out and we are so cool as friends and then he turns around and gets mad at me about things and instead of facing me and telling me to my face, he hides behind his phone because it's easier to send text messages to express yourself. I'm so over it already, if he thinks that this time I'm going to try to make up with him he is so wrong, I am done with this situation, I don't care how many tears I will cry from now on and how many times I will miss him desperately! I guess you are wondering what happened to my boyfriend? well, we broke up. I am also sick and tired of living lies, I will not do that to him, myself or anyone else.
Yesterday I went on a hike and thought about how much Ben would of liked Colorado. I know it's ridiculous that I still think of that man ever so often, but well you can't blame me for it, I loved him for 5 years of my life and never even kissed the dude, that's pretty significant. Anyway, lately I have been really happy with the way my life is going, and I don't need any complications with anyone. I have realized that me and and relationships don't mesh well together and I don't want them anymore! I'm done trying to be nice to people and being taken for granted. I have decided to go back to be single and being pretty happy! I have been single for years and been ok with it, I'm good!
My I guess now ex boyfriend, he is a nice person and I can be his friend, but I can't be with him, it doesn't feel right, it just doesn't and I don't want to continue to pressure myself to be with someone just because I feel like I need to be in a relationship to feel normal. I am normal, I am just fine and I have many things I need to do right now, I cannot be worried about men! fuck them all!
I am in a shitty mood today, I am tired and wish I could sleep all day, unfortunately I have things to do, but journal, I promise that the next time I write you, I will be ok. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! and yes, I will forget about all this nonsense that I don't need to deal with or tolerate. I feel bad that things didn't work out with my boyfriend, but he is way too all over the place for me! the lesson that I learned from this experience is that you NEED to be friends with someone first! I have to be friends with someone before I can be in a relationship with them, being with him so fast was kind of crazy! I seriously felt trapped! worst feeling in the world.
Anyway...... I don't feel like ranting and raving anymore...... so I shall go!
peace journal!
I'm sick and tired of AJ! yup! I seriously sincerely am! all he and I ever do is argue about dumb shit and I'm tired of him accusing me of not being able to have a girlfriend because of me! how the hell is it my fault? his explanation is so ridiculous that I can't even believe someone would say something so ridiculous! but what can I expect of a young man that has no life experiences? these feelings that I have for him have to go away! I don't want them anymore!
Journal, AJ who I have known for two and a half years, has occupied my thoughts and my heart for far too long, and we hung out and we are so cool as friends and then he turns around and gets mad at me about things and instead of facing me and telling me to my face, he hides behind his phone because it's easier to send text messages to express yourself. I'm so over it already, if he thinks that this time I'm going to try to make up with him he is so wrong, I am done with this situation, I don't care how many tears I will cry from now on and how many times I will miss him desperately! I guess you are wondering what happened to my boyfriend? well, we broke up. I am also sick and tired of living lies, I will not do that to him, myself or anyone else.
Yesterday I went on a hike and thought about how much Ben would of liked Colorado. I know it's ridiculous that I still think of that man ever so often, but well you can't blame me for it, I loved him for 5 years of my life and never even kissed the dude, that's pretty significant. Anyway, lately I have been really happy with the way my life is going, and I don't need any complications with anyone. I have realized that me and and relationships don't mesh well together and I don't want them anymore! I'm done trying to be nice to people and being taken for granted. I have decided to go back to be single and being pretty happy! I have been single for years and been ok with it, I'm good!
My I guess now ex boyfriend, he is a nice person and I can be his friend, but I can't be with him, it doesn't feel right, it just doesn't and I don't want to continue to pressure myself to be with someone just because I feel like I need to be in a relationship to feel normal. I am normal, I am just fine and I have many things I need to do right now, I cannot be worried about men! fuck them all!
I am in a shitty mood today, I am tired and wish I could sleep all day, unfortunately I have things to do, but journal, I promise that the next time I write you, I will be ok. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! and yes, I will forget about all this nonsense that I don't need to deal with or tolerate. I feel bad that things didn't work out with my boyfriend, but he is way too all over the place for me! the lesson that I learned from this experience is that you NEED to be friends with someone first! I have to be friends with someone before I can be in a relationship with them, being with him so fast was kind of crazy! I seriously felt trapped! worst feeling in the world.
Anyway...... I don't feel like ranting and raving anymore...... so I shall go!
peace journal!
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