Last night I watched the season finally of the Vampire Diaries (which I love) and at the end of the episode I cried like a baby! at first I was crying because the way the main character was crying for the man she loved felt so real, that I was deeply touched. Soon after though, the more I cried, the more I realized I wasn't crying over the episode anymore, all of a sudden my tears had turned into tears of sadness for my own reasons. At first I began to think about AJ and how much I miss talking to him, I miss my friend! I hate that we always fight for the stupidest things that make no sense, yet make so much sense at the same time. Clearly the feelings we share for one another are very deep, yet he made a decision about me which was not to allow me in his life in a certain capacity, and that decision makes it difficult for him to be my friend. Yes I know that this fight I was the one that told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, but I only did that because I was so angry at him, at the things that he does, anyway, I cried last night because I missed him so much and everyday that passes, it's a little bit harder.
AJ by the way journal, was never my boyfriend, AJ has always been my friend, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html buy we have had so many crazy fights, you would think we have been a couple for over two years, which is how long we have known each other. Anyway, the person that I was dating, I broke up with him a few weeks ago also, I have to admit that being single feels good to me, I don't know, I have just gotten so set on my ways and so used to being with myself, that I feel disconnected almost from that life, the life of a pair. I am happy however that at least I gave it a try and at least I gave it a try with someone super super nice, super special. I felt really bad to have to break things off with him, but there were just to many factors involved that I don't really want to get into. I still speak to him and think he is a great person, but I don't see him, I think it's better to keep my distance for a bit.
Journal I also miss my oldest son so desperately! I have not spoken to him in over a week and that is the longest time I have not communicated with him. He is now an army soldier, started boot camp last week, I miss my boy! I am so proud of my child! it feels so weird that he is no longer a child and that I can't take care of him, he is a young man, preparing himself to defend our country! I'm honored to call him my son!
I have so much more I want to write but I am so tired! I have been working two jobs to make some extra cash. I love my new job though and soon I will be quitting my second job which is a lot of fun. I love Colorado! I wish I would have moved here sooner!
Good night journal!
AJ by the way journal, was never my boyfriend, AJ has always been my friend, http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/06/f-trust-issues.html buy we have had so many crazy fights, you would think we have been a couple for over two years, which is how long we have known each other. Anyway, the person that I was dating, I broke up with him a few weeks ago also, I have to admit that being single feels good to me, I don't know, I have just gotten so set on my ways and so used to being with myself, that I feel disconnected almost from that life, the life of a pair. I am happy however that at least I gave it a try and at least I gave it a try with someone super super nice, super special. I felt really bad to have to break things off with him, but there were just to many factors involved that I don't really want to get into. I still speak to him and think he is a great person, but I don't see him, I think it's better to keep my distance for a bit.
Journal I also miss my oldest son so desperately! I have not spoken to him in over a week and that is the longest time I have not communicated with him. He is now an army soldier, started boot camp last week, I miss my boy! I am so proud of my child! it feels so weird that he is no longer a child and that I can't take care of him, he is a young man, preparing himself to defend our country! I'm honored to call him my son!
I have so much more I want to write but I am so tired! I have been working two jobs to make some extra cash. I love my new job though and soon I will be quitting my second job which is a lot of fun. I love Colorado! I wish I would have moved here sooner!
Good night journal!
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