Dear Journal:
Why can't things ever just be simple? I don't get that! it's always something! is it that I ask for things? I mean I don't even barely talk to anyone, so how come things happen in my life and I feel like even if I am walking away from things, something pulls me in the direction that I shouldn't go, yet deep inside, that's where I really want to be. I know I am not making much sense, but whenever I write you, I feel lik it would appear that I have all these different men in my life, yet in reality I am single, I don't have anyone (technically) so then why? why? oh why? do these things occur!
Let's see, I was telling my awesome cousin who called me last night, that I don't want to make my journal too current with things that are going on presently in my life, however, sometimes I feel that it is these challenges that make life worth living, it is these sincere thoughts that I put on my journal, that have gotten me over ten thousand hits to my blog. It is my sincerity and my love and passion for writing, that have me doing this what I am doing now. I am putting my life on here, because I hope that someone will read it and feel like WOW! I understand what she is going through because I feel that way also, or maybe this person will say, WOW! I went through that too! or maybe they will say, I hope things work out for her and send me their positive energy and love. I HOPE, that whoever reads my thoughts and feeling and life and challenges, understands that I put these words on a public journal, for love. Love of people, love of my writing, love of my future goals and dreams. I want someone to come on my blog and know that I AM CRAZY TOO! and that we all go through challenges and we all have tough times. But that we as individuals and as human beings, have the capability to overcome the everyday obstacles that we encounter if we really want to.
So, today I found out something that made me extremely angry! my first reaction was tears rolling down my eyes and my next reaction was complete anger! I WAS FURIOUS! The first thing I did after I heard the news that someone was giving me, was to send a message to another friend, my very good friend Liz and ask her to please tell me something, ANYTHING! to calm my anxiety. She did just that, my angel Lizzy came through for me as always, she gave me comfort and I felt better almost immediately! needless to say, THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR WONDERFUL AMAZING TRUE FRIENDS! but before I came down from my anger, below you will read what came through my thoughts and what I told the bearer of bad news, I wish I could do. I am going to put this on my journal, because I seriously need to get it out of my system, and because deep down inside, I hope the person that my thoughts below are directed towards, will read this and know. I doubt it, but I really really really hope she does!
Why don't I just send the message directly to her your thinking? I don't do so, because you don't win a battle by fighting, you win a battle with strategy. Additionally, I won't go to the extreme's of fighting with anyone. It is unnecessary and I'm to old for that nonsense. Also, you can't really fight for things that are not yours to begin with or maybe they are but I won't cat fight like I did when I was 19 or 20. So, with that said, yes if this individual saw this and felt like calling me and talking to me woman to woman, I WOULD LOVE TOO! but I am not going to take the first step, because I don't feel like I need to and refuse to waste my time. Non the less, the old version of Jazzy, came out of me for a few minutes and my mind raced with anger and below is what I so badly wanted to say, but held my tounge or rather, decided that only time will tell the outcome and that I need not do anything at all.
THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT UPON RECEIVING SOME NEWS THAT MADE ME FURIOUS!.................................................................................................................................................
YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!! why don't you just dissappear already! you are sooooo fucking lucky I am not the woman I used to be, because if I was, I would KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE MY FUCKING MAN ALONE YOU LOOSER! You are like poison in his life! and the ONLY reason why he isn't with me, is BECAUSE OF ME!!!!!!! BECAUSE I CHOSE NOT TO BE PART OF HIS LIFE! you should be thanking me! BUT BITCH! THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY SOOOOOOO!!!! and maybe I changed my mind! WATCH YOUR BACK YOU HOE!!!!!
Jazzy calms down! you know what they say though, you can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. At the end of the day, Jazzy decides that nor violence nor anger nor harsh words, will do any good, because in the end only LOVE CONQUERS ALL! and that what is meant to be, will be! and I need not do a thing!
Well, that was my day journal. I am sorry that I can't be extremely specific about what happened. However, I don't think specific details are required. It is obvious, that I am UPSET about a woman and a man. One day, when all is well and things come together as they should, I will share. Until then, I am glad that I have you my wonderful ever so faithful journal, to share my angers, my fears, my goals, dreams, desires, whatever comes across my mind and flows out onto these pages..........
Now I sit at home, with a nice glass of wine and next up.... VAMPIRE DIARIES :)
Please enjoy a great song....... Lenny Kravitz - Stillness of Heart..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP6HACvtPUw
Why can't things ever just be simple? I don't get that! it's always something! is it that I ask for things? I mean I don't even barely talk to anyone, so how come things happen in my life and I feel like even if I am walking away from things, something pulls me in the direction that I shouldn't go, yet deep inside, that's where I really want to be. I know I am not making much sense, but whenever I write you, I feel lik it would appear that I have all these different men in my life, yet in reality I am single, I don't have anyone (technically) so then why? why? oh why? do these things occur!
Let's see, I was telling my awesome cousin who called me last night, that I don't want to make my journal too current with things that are going on presently in my life, however, sometimes I feel that it is these challenges that make life worth living, it is these sincere thoughts that I put on my journal, that have gotten me over ten thousand hits to my blog. It is my sincerity and my love and passion for writing, that have me doing this what I am doing now. I am putting my life on here, because I hope that someone will read it and feel like WOW! I understand what she is going through because I feel that way also, or maybe this person will say, WOW! I went through that too! or maybe they will say, I hope things work out for her and send me their positive energy and love. I HOPE, that whoever reads my thoughts and feeling and life and challenges, understands that I put these words on a public journal, for love. Love of people, love of my writing, love of my future goals and dreams. I want someone to come on my blog and know that I AM CRAZY TOO! and that we all go through challenges and we all have tough times. But that we as individuals and as human beings, have the capability to overcome the everyday obstacles that we encounter if we really want to.
So, today I found out something that made me extremely angry! my first reaction was tears rolling down my eyes and my next reaction was complete anger! I WAS FURIOUS! The first thing I did after I heard the news that someone was giving me, was to send a message to another friend, my very good friend Liz and ask her to please tell me something, ANYTHING! to calm my anxiety. She did just that, my angel Lizzy came through for me as always, she gave me comfort and I felt better almost immediately! needless to say, THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR WONDERFUL AMAZING TRUE FRIENDS! but before I came down from my anger, below you will read what came through my thoughts and what I told the bearer of bad news, I wish I could do. I am going to put this on my journal, because I seriously need to get it out of my system, and because deep down inside, I hope the person that my thoughts below are directed towards, will read this and know. I doubt it, but I really really really hope she does!
Why don't I just send the message directly to her your thinking? I don't do so, because you don't win a battle by fighting, you win a battle with strategy. Additionally, I won't go to the extreme's of fighting with anyone. It is unnecessary and I'm to old for that nonsense. Also, you can't really fight for things that are not yours to begin with or maybe they are but I won't cat fight like I did when I was 19 or 20. So, with that said, yes if this individual saw this and felt like calling me and talking to me woman to woman, I WOULD LOVE TOO! but I am not going to take the first step, because I don't feel like I need to and refuse to waste my time. Non the less, the old version of Jazzy, came out of me for a few minutes and my mind raced with anger and below is what I so badly wanted to say, but held my tounge or rather, decided that only time will tell the outcome and that I need not do anything at all.
THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT UPON RECEIVING SOME NEWS THAT MADE ME FURIOUS!.................................................................................................................................................
YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!! why don't you just dissappear already! you are sooooo fucking lucky I am not the woman I used to be, because if I was, I would KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE MY FUCKING MAN ALONE YOU LOOSER! You are like poison in his life! and the ONLY reason why he isn't with me, is BECAUSE OF ME!!!!!!! BECAUSE I CHOSE NOT TO BE PART OF HIS LIFE! you should be thanking me! BUT BITCH! THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY SOOOOOOO!!!! and maybe I changed my mind! WATCH YOUR BACK YOU HOE!!!!!
Jazzy calms down! you know what they say though, you can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. At the end of the day, Jazzy decides that nor violence nor anger nor harsh words, will do any good, because in the end only LOVE CONQUERS ALL! and that what is meant to be, will be! and I need not do a thing!
Well, that was my day journal. I am sorry that I can't be extremely specific about what happened. However, I don't think specific details are required. It is obvious, that I am UPSET about a woman and a man. One day, when all is well and things come together as they should, I will share. Until then, I am glad that I have you my wonderful ever so faithful journal, to share my angers, my fears, my goals, dreams, desires, whatever comes across my mind and flows out onto these pages..........
Now I sit at home, with a nice glass of wine and next up.... VAMPIRE DIARIES :)
Please enjoy a great song....... Lenny Kravitz - Stillness of Heart..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP6HACvtPUw
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