Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Dear Journal: 8-7-12 IPhone Drama! :(

Dear Journal:

I am feeling really happy.  I have been stressed about a few things like the fact that I have in less then six months, managed to damage three IPhones to the point of no repair and now am holding on to my newest one for dear life as I cannot continue to give my money to apple although one of the three they gave to me for free for being an outstanding client...... NOT! But honestly, in the midst of all the maddness that has been going on in my life this past week, I managed to smile everyday and give thanks to the un moved mover the all mighty powerful God the Sun, Moon and Stars the Omnipitient Omniscient bieng greater than all things, THANKS FOR ALL I DO HAVE!

Man somedays I am ready to run and run and run and just loose it, but something always seems to hold me down and with faith I feel all will be good, because all can always be worse.  So enough about my whinning and let's get down and dirty.  Let's see, first, I decided to leave men alone for a while, well not ALL men, but men in general.  I don't want nothing to do with internet people or to meet anyone on the street I don't want to really talk to anyone and just want to be left alone.  I feel better when I am not "getting to know anyone" life is just so much simpler that way.  I have been thinking a whole lot about one specific someone, that someone is this person I have written about on my blog before, I was with him in Miami on vacation last year right around this time.  We had a strange time, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't great.  I have been thinking alot about him and what he meant/means to me.  Other than that, I don't have time to think about any one else.

Remember my neighbor? http://jazzy-jazzysjournal.blogspot.com/2012/07/dear-journal-is-it-just-little-crush.html well, I ran into him the other day after not haven seen him for a few weeks.  I am sort of glad I haven't bumped into him, because even though he kind of lights up when he sees me which makes me feel really good, I just don't think I want to go there with him.  There meaning you know.... THERE! so I have kind of forgotten about him until the other day when I saw him from far and I thought to myself holly shit there he is! so I am walking with my younger son because he was going to work with me for the day and I tell my son to hurry up and he's like why and I'm like because! we will miss the train! I was totally lying to my poor child, I couldn't tell him to hurry up because my little HS make believe crush was walking a few feet ahead of us and I absolutely needed to catch up to him! COME ON! what kind of mom does that????

Long story short, I caught up to him, he lit up said hello to my son and shook his hand and I was all tongue tied and silly as I usually get when I'm around that man.  Goodness!! what is wrong with me? it was so obvious, that after my son and I walked away from him to go to another train, I told my son that he had just met my crush and he was like.  No wonder mom! I could tell you were nervous! WHAT THE FUCK! well that is probably the end of that story, I have made up my mind that I don't want him, so I hope I don't run into him because I think I will probably not be nice to him, I will also act cold and un carring.  Sorry, that's just how I feel about men in general these days.

Anyway, that's pretty much all I have to report.

OVER AND OUT!

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