Journal -
This was my third year having you! I am so lucky that I am able to share you with the world. I am glad that I can write whatever I want whenever I want and get it off my chest!
I had a mixed year last year, meaning that there were good days and bad ones. I know that last year I wrote a best of 2012 post telling you all the good things that happened to me in 2012, this year however, I'm not really in the mood to get into it. I will tell you though that the best day ever, was the day that I was able to hang out with AJ for a few hours! like hanging out sitting talking eating and then watching tv hanging out! that was the highlight of my 2013, spending time with someone I know so much about yet still feel like I know so little. Someone who showed me his true colors in both good and bad ways, someone who has a very special piece of my heart.
The saddest thing that happened to me in 2013 was saying goodbye to my friend Wilferm (that's not really his name). In that moment I didn't think that he was saying goodbye to me for good, but he was. After that day for reasons like I don't know, the fact that I wrote about him? he never spoke to me again. It was sad, to say goodbye to someone you felt a grand connection to, someone who you had so many things in common with and someone who I considered if nothing else my bud!... Guess not!
Other than that, my year was pretty average. I traveled to my favorite city in the world in June and that was pretty much the extent of my travels last year. I was so busy with school and work and life that I really didn't have time for much, thinking back at last year I feel like it was a good mixture of what a year in the life of Jazzy should be.
2014 started off pretty good though, up until the point where for being nosy and not minding my business, I went onto the blog of Benjamin Nunez (that's not really his name either) and found out that he had had the worst horrible 2013 ever! as I was reading the blog post I couldn't hold back my tears! I was devastated to know that he had such a harsh time and part of me felt happy about it because he is an "asshole" and why didn't he ever speak to me again? why should I care about his shit??? who cares Jazzy? why are you even reading this shit???? but then the kind side of me took hold and my love for him came back and I was sobbing to know that my ex love had been through the toughest time ever!
So... what did Jazzy do? Jazzy did something she had not done in a very long time and called him and left him a voicemail. I don't care that he won't answer me or that he doesn't care about me or whatever else anyone who reads this might think. I called him and left him a message because that's what felt right to me at that moment. I did what any human being that is ok with feeling the way they feel about something should act. I showed him my love regardless of what he feels for me. In preaching love, I have found that if I don't give it, it makes me feel like I am not doing something right. I need to continue to give my love even to those who don't accept it or those who push it away, because I know that in the deepest of their heart and soul, they know my love for them is genuine, sincere and true! I won't hold a grudge because that will only dirty me and my wellbeing and so I love them, all three of the people this post is about and whatever problem they have with me, then that is on them. I am really really good! life is amazing right now! I am happy, I have no regrets, I have said to the three of them anything I have ever had to say and I feel free. I don't feel like I carry some sort of something on my chest.
If I give my unconditional love to those who act mean to me for god know what reason, do you imagine journal how lucky the man that give me love back will be? I was thinking about that this morning. I kept thinking, goodness! lucky is he who gets this beautiful heart of mine!
So yeah journal! 2014 will most definitely be an amazing year for me, I can feel it in my heart! so many wonderful adventures coming to these pages real soon!
STAY TUNNED!
I leave you with..... The Birth of Venus By: Botticelli
This was my third year having you! I am so lucky that I am able to share you with the world. I am glad that I can write whatever I want whenever I want and get it off my chest!
I had a mixed year last year, meaning that there were good days and bad ones. I know that last year I wrote a best of 2012 post telling you all the good things that happened to me in 2012, this year however, I'm not really in the mood to get into it. I will tell you though that the best day ever, was the day that I was able to hang out with AJ for a few hours! like hanging out sitting talking eating and then watching tv hanging out! that was the highlight of my 2013, spending time with someone I know so much about yet still feel like I know so little. Someone who showed me his true colors in both good and bad ways, someone who has a very special piece of my heart.
The saddest thing that happened to me in 2013 was saying goodbye to my friend Wilferm (that's not really his name). In that moment I didn't think that he was saying goodbye to me for good, but he was. After that day for reasons like I don't know, the fact that I wrote about him? he never spoke to me again. It was sad, to say goodbye to someone you felt a grand connection to, someone who you had so many things in common with and someone who I considered if nothing else my bud!... Guess not!
Other than that, my year was pretty average. I traveled to my favorite city in the world in June and that was pretty much the extent of my travels last year. I was so busy with school and work and life that I really didn't have time for much, thinking back at last year I feel like it was a good mixture of what a year in the life of Jazzy should be.
2014 started off pretty good though, up until the point where for being nosy and not minding my business, I went onto the blog of Benjamin Nunez (that's not really his name either) and found out that he had had the worst horrible 2013 ever! as I was reading the blog post I couldn't hold back my tears! I was devastated to know that he had such a harsh time and part of me felt happy about it because he is an "asshole" and why didn't he ever speak to me again? why should I care about his shit??? who cares Jazzy? why are you even reading this shit???? but then the kind side of me took hold and my love for him came back and I was sobbing to know that my ex love had been through the toughest time ever!
So... what did Jazzy do? Jazzy did something she had not done in a very long time and called him and left him a voicemail. I don't care that he won't answer me or that he doesn't care about me or whatever else anyone who reads this might think. I called him and left him a message because that's what felt right to me at that moment. I did what any human being that is ok with feeling the way they feel about something should act. I showed him my love regardless of what he feels for me. In preaching love, I have found that if I don't give it, it makes me feel like I am not doing something right. I need to continue to give my love even to those who don't accept it or those who push it away, because I know that in the deepest of their heart and soul, they know my love for them is genuine, sincere and true! I won't hold a grudge because that will only dirty me and my wellbeing and so I love them, all three of the people this post is about and whatever problem they have with me, then that is on them. I am really really good! life is amazing right now! I am happy, I have no regrets, I have said to the three of them anything I have ever had to say and I feel free. I don't feel like I carry some sort of something on my chest.
If I give my unconditional love to those who act mean to me for god know what reason, do you imagine journal how lucky the man that give me love back will be? I was thinking about that this morning. I kept thinking, goodness! lucky is he who gets this beautiful heart of mine!
So yeah journal! 2014 will most definitely be an amazing year for me, I can feel it in my heart! so many wonderful adventures coming to these pages real soon!
STAY TUNNED!
I leave you with..... The Birth of Venus By: Botticelli
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