Karma

 “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
~ Plato

Dear Journal -

Sometimes when I get really angry and start wishing bad things upon the person or people that have hurt me, I have to take deep breaths and remind myself to stop! to not allow those terrible thoughts and feelings that are entering my heart and mind to continue.  I have to remind myself that those thoughts do not serve me! It is SO HARD to let go of the anger that is caused by the pain someone caused you! Today I had one of those moments and quite frankly, I brought it upon myself.  I feel that for the most part I have moved on from my most recent ex.  I don't cry myself to sleep anymore, I don't want answers to any questions, I don't care what he is doing with his life, I have zero desire to talk to him, and barely think about him anymore.  But then there are things that have to be asked because there is value to it, so I made the mistake today to ask and maybe I should of asked him directly, but I didn't because I must of done something terrible to him that he refuses to talk to me. Like dude, no one wants to have conversations with you, I just want what belongs to me! 

After my anger subsided and I felt like I had just wasted an hour of emotion on this individual, I remembered something that I can PROMISE anyone that ever comes across this post that it is the truest thing in life! and that thing is called KARMA! when I talk about Karma I'm not using that as a way to wish bad upon anyone, I simply say Karma is real because I am no angel and I've done things I'm not proud of in my life, but there have been some moments in my life when something has been done to me and all of a sudden I'm like...... WOW, that was Karma! I believe that the wrong we do here, we pay for here.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I started recognizing these things that were happening in my life, that felt like I was paying back for something. When I started to pay attention to these things, I became more mindful of how I treated others, I started to be mindful and to remember that I don't know what others are going through and that it isn't always about me.  

I truly believe that lately my life is really good! I feel happy for the first time in a very long time and I can honestly say, that I have nothing to complain about, and if I do, it's only because I can be ungrateful sometimes! So, I don't want to wish bad upon anyone, especially those that took part in my personal life.  Instead, I want to put this stuff on here my journal, to remind myself that no matter what wrong has been done to me, it's probably not even about me.  Only the person who does you wrong, truly will ever know why! and sometimes, they don't even know it themselves.  I'm not sure what the point of this journal entry is about, I came on here to write about one thing, but as I started to write, all these things just flooded my thoughts.  

Nothing much else to report journal.  There are some moments I want to keep to myself because they are too good to share and they are so private and intimate, that I just want to keep them in my memory.  

I will leave you with:

Outstanding - The Gap Band